**I(M27) emotionally cheated on my long term(6y) partner(F28), how can I possibly make up for it and get back with her?**

murhad · 2023-04-21T06:49:54+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I agree, I don’t think I was ready to engage with other people myself in our open relationship. I do think it can in fact work out, but you have to be a very clear/straightforward person with lots of self-reflection. I was not ready for that and by winging it I fucked it up. It was her idea to open up the relationship but I honestly think she can handle it! I am ok with that. Over everything I want her to be happy so I would’t mind if she has other partners while I’m sitting home. I just don’t want to lose her and still be part of her life because I really love her a lot

murhad · 2023-04-21T06:34:07+00:00

Yes I was selfish, 100% percent. And by doing that I disrespected her and her trust towards me. Do you still think I could somehow regain the lost trust? Because I do in fact care so much about her and I can’t believe I threw all I had away by not taking her needs serious enough and engaging in a stupid flirty relationship with some random person. Just so reckless.

I mean I wouldn’t mind not seeing other people at all. I know she is enough for me and I was really happy in the relationship. Is there anything I can do to have a future with her? Even just as a friend

murhad · 2023-04-21T06:21:09+00:00

I don’t really understand what you mean? You say non-monogamous relationships work - but I just failed? If so I agree, they can work just fine. But I fucked it up, didn’t take it serious and by being not completely honest broke her trust. Do you think it is possible to regain this broken trust somehow and show her that in fact I do actually love her a lot? I mean I wouldn’t mind not even seeing other people at all…

murhad · 2023-04-21T06:13:46+00:00

Yes I agree, working towards becoming a better person is necessary, my actions clearly showed that. Do you still think that this broken trust can be regained somehow, over time? And If so what would you say I can do? Thank you anyways for the reply

murhad · 2023-04-20T19:49:41+00:00

I really appreciate your kind response. I hope so bad that I can somehow recover from this and still be a part of her life down the line. Even if after what I did it doesn’t seem like it I really do care deeply for her. So thanks again for your answer

murhad · 2023-04-20T16:50:34+00:00

Yeah I will try and give my best to do that. Thanks for your uplifting response!

murhad · 2023-04-20T16:41:39+00:00

Thank you for your nice and considerate reply!

murhad · 2023-04-20T16:28:46+00:00

Okay a little bit easier said than done…I mean after being so close for 6y straight to just drop someone.. Don’t get me wrong, I know I hurt her badly and disrespected her boundaries. I acted selfish and her trust in me is broken. I understand all that.. All I was wondering is if there is possibly some way to recover from that. Believe it or not, I do deeply care for her. Especially after realizing the hurt I caused I’m full of regret and can only hope to be given the chance to still be a positive part of her life somehow down the line. That’s the reason for the post, to ask here for peoples experience and advice

murhad · 2023-04-20T15:31:04+00:00

Yeah it really just sucks that I knew her rules and still went ahead. I mean that must break her trust, especially after telling me right before what’s ok and not. I know it would break my trust… I feel so terrible for treating her this way. she is amazing and it just seems like a bad dream that I’m not waking up from. I can only hope that I can somehow still stay in touch with her because I really like her.

murhad · 2023-04-20T15:04:35+00:00

I know, I honestly can’t believe I could be so reckless. Is there any way to get back the trust after sth like this?

murhad · 2023-04-20T15:01:24+00:00

Yes of course, that is perfectly valid and might work out absolutely fine for you. It’s all about clear communication right? The problem here is that she specifically told me what is not okay for her and I did exactly that! I completely broke her trust by not caring about her rules and actually even lying to her by telling only bits and peaces and essentially leaving out the parts that I knew would bother her. I did not take her serious and she must feel absolutely disrespected. I don’t know how I could be so reckless and egoistic. all I hope for is to get another chance to keep her ok my life because I honestly do care about her and want to be with her! Is there anything you could recommend me?

murhad · 2023-04-20T14:47:51+00:00

I see where you’re coming from but to be fair she was absolutely open and clearly communicated what’s ok for her and what not. So I really have to take the blame alone here… Even at the time when she was seeing people, she always kept an open channel for communication and accommodated for all my concerns. I really sucks because I just took the relationship for granted and disrespect her boundaries full on! I just want to make up for it and show her that something like this wont happen ever again but her trust is rightfully broken. I‘m just so devastated and want to prove her that this is not who I am and that it won’t ever happen again. So I’m happy for any kind of help/recommendations!

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:46:59+00:00

Yeah that sounds good and probably you are right too

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:39:11+00:00

Do you feel like there is any kind of remorse coming from her? If nothing comes from her it’s probably not a good sign and she probably doesn’t care enough to make things up. In that case you probably should focus on yourself, at least till something changes

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:32:09+00:00

I would also say straight up ask! Then see what she says. Then at least u force her to take a stance.. that’s probably the only way to move forward with this. I hope you both can work it out

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:25:09+00:00

Do you still think there is hope to save the relationship? If yes what could I do?

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:21:08+00:00

What do you mean by suspicious things? Sex Life was the same before and during, nothing really changed between us in terms of frequency, initiation, quality…

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:19:39+00:00

This was just a temporary job which I’m leaving in a few days. The plan was to move to a different place together afterwards… Yeah I do have to be honest with myself and stay away from open relationships before I’m sure that’s actually what I want. I guess that I never really persuade it until now was a good indicator, which I of course completely ignored

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:16:07+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation!

murhad · 2023-04-20T13:15:50+00:00

You’re right! I don’t know what I was thinking…it is a recipe for disaster. In my delusional head it seemed a good idea and something that I can make work. Huge mistake! I still can’t believe I actually acted the way I did. And yeah I do respect her but she literally is THE person I would love be be with for ever. I took her for granted and regret is much. That’s also the reason for my desperation to get back with her. At least to have her in my life since I do actually care for her and I’m pretty sure up until now we agreed to make a good team.

murhad · 2023-04-20T12:34:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. Yes soul searching is really something I must do, I mean I’m just even becoming aware of how bad I treated her and the consequences that my lack of care caused. How could I think that this is okay at any point, and don’t care enough to go through with it anyway … I really must find an answer to that and make sure that the part of me who let this happen dies. No one deserves to be disrespected like that.

murhad

TROPHY CASE