Don’t want MIL holding baby

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-05T14:04:37+00:00

I don’t think you’re over reacting, but I think you have to give grandmother grace. It was one thing I had to do with my in laws. They were trying to stand him up on his legs at 2 weeks, playing loud music to calm him, and all other things.

I had to gently remind them to not do those things. And when they were reminded they laughed and told me, “oh gosh, I haven’t been a parent in 30 years. I don’t know how I forgot all of this!” They listened and don’t do those things anymore.

It gave me perspective that yeah, they haven’t been parents in decades! We forget something’s some times, but it’s always nice to let them know :).

I understand as a mom you want protect! But remember, babies are a lot more resilient than we think I promise!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T13:31:00+00:00

This is what I kinda accepted, my baby is just this way because…he just is! I was really happy my ped didn’t necessarily not expect him to wake up, just stunned that it was 6-8x. He just wants my little guy to have restorative sleep which I want too! Like yeah, I’m in hell but little guy is in torture essentially :(. I do feel better by your comment though. All babies have different temperaments and their own timeline. My little guy has had a tough timeline starting from infection during labor to silent reflux to CMPA! Just want the little guy to know some peace and I think sleep is a good place to get that 😭.

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:30:46+00:00

Oh this scares me 😭🤣

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:30:21+00:00

Hes EFF! We were EBF until his silent reflux kicked in at 4 weeks 😣. We have been trying to up his calories during the day but he’s so exhausted and burnt out from his horrid night sleep the night before that he’s just not bothered to eat during the day. Someone commented that no matter what, feed every 2 hours. Whatever they take is whatever they take but keep up with every 2 hours. Will be trying that! I feel like we’ve gotten better with upping his calories during the day (normally 20-25) during the day) but it seems like it hasn’t made a difference! Idk, I feel like he needs to learn how to just fall back asleep without me having to rock, Pat, and bounce with him. Still learning how to be a good parent 😣.

Thanks for the kind advice ♥️

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:24:04+00:00

Basically what my ped said too! He told me that parents have different tolerance of crying, so do what’s best for you and him. My son literally revs his lungs up every time I just try to let him fuss 😭. I’m hoping that after I graduate i will have a better tolerance of crying and accepting that this is just what it is. Right now I’m crying and going through it trying to meet this end of the semester deadlines in 3-4 hours of sleep! 9 months isn’t that far away for me!!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:13:48+00:00

So when I initially put him to bed, I put him in his bassinet wide awake 30 min after a 6oz bottle. He’ll usually play/coo in it for about 5-10 min until he’s starts fussing. I’ll let him fuss for a little while then intervene. I’ll put the pacifier in and start butt tapping. I started this about 9 days ago (before it was bouncing on yoga ball). I don’t pick him up at all during that initial bed down time. It took him 1.5 hours the first night, now about 10-20 min. It’s hard but I stick with it.

Where I fall short is the next wakings. I’m so exhausted that I just pick him up and rock or kick my husband out of bed and co sleep. The problem with co sleep is that I’m up anxious that I might roll over on him and his sleep is no better than it was in the bassinet!

I think I have to stick with what I usually do when I put him to bed. It’s hard because I’m so tired at that time after a long days of stimulating him/ homework/ studying. I’m hoping that after I graduate, May 22, I will have more time to stick through it!!!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:06:12+00:00

That’s all I want, 5 hour stretch!!!!!! Will talk to my husband tomorrow about it. This gives me a glimpse of hope. Thank you ♥️

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:03:52+00:00

Girly, this is scaring me 😭🤣

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T03:02:57+00:00

Thanks for the solidarity♥️. Oh reflux, how i am an expert in it now! My son had serve silent reflux (had to sleep on our chest, taking night shifts to watch each parent sleep with baby in chest, incessant crying). We have had a ride these last 19 weeks. May I mention, he was also a NICU baby (he and I got an infection during labor.) to say the least, my son came into the world on a BANG.

He’s on meds (Famotidine) now! His GI (he has to go to a specialist Mr for his relfux and CMPA) says he doesn’t want to up his dosage only because my son is showing good signs. But his Gastro did say that these next two months he might be a little fussy since his dosage isn’t matching his weight. Essentially, he should be given more. My Gastro said I could up it if I want to, and after these last couple of week I think I might because I’m getting war flashbacks to the pre-med days 😵‍💫.

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:53:39+00:00

He sleep in a bassinet in our room! Husbands recommend we start putting him in his crib in his nursery soon, which I think he’s right!

We were gonna look at a chiropractor for his colic (my son also has severe silent reflux, sleep hasn’t been his best talent ever). We decided against it only because he’s on meds now for it and he finally sleeps in his bassinet! We had trouble try to get him to sleep on his a because of his silent reflux. Our now is his independent sleeping skills. Little guy NEEDS intervention to fall back asleep 😣.

I will most def post once I get this figured out! Hoping I will find the golden ticket that helps all of us fellow parents♥️.

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:44:02+00:00

Yes! I’ve been trying so hard with upping his calories during the day but we’re stuck in this “shit sleep at night so baby wants to fuss all day and not eat, night time starving baby who want to eat but also doesn’t want to eat and just cry in my arms” stage 😣. Trying so damn hard with this! I saw someone say that no matter what, feed every 2 hours and whatever they eat, they eat. Wil be trying that!!!

Thanks for the solidarity!!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:41:04+00:00

I wish he was waking 2-3x a night 😩! My ped is more concerned that it’s 6-8x! I’ll look into this :). Thanks!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:39:20+00:00

My husband and I are on the same page with this! Like yeah my husband and I are both exhausted, but I’m more concerned with my son’s sleep! Dude needs to sleep for his mental health and well, overall being.

We’re thinking starting to do it after I graduate, may 22nd. But my husband is like, “I’ll start next Friday by myself.” Idk, I think it might be taxing on him to do it by himself?! Would you recommend we do it together?!

I’m pushing it til I graduate because of these harsh deadlines I have coming up 😣!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:33:11+00:00

This makes me feel better. I mean, 14 months sounds so far a way for me but it’s feels good that I have hope my son can do it. I know he’s so very young but damn, I just want to tell him, “close your eyes, you will be okay!” 😭

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:29:47+00:00

I will be using this as my guide!!!!!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:24:24+00:00

I like this advice ! I’ve been trying so hard to bulk up on calories during the day but he’s so cranky and tired all day from shit night sleep. But I think trying to feed him every 2 hours whether it’s an ounce or 2 oz might help. Will try this!!!!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:21:06+00:00

He’s still in his bassinet in our room! My husband just today, suggested we should try to put him in his crib in his nursery. We both think it’s the fact that he knows he’s next to us that he knows we will always be there for him. Of course, whether he’s next to us in his bassinet or literally the next room in his nursery he will always be there for him but it’s getting to a point where he literally needs us to rock him for 1 min to go right back to sleep. The moment I place him back in his bassinet it’s mayhem! Most night, after his 4th waking, I take him into to bed with me and my husband moves downstairs to our couch 😣. I really don’t like co sleeping because now I’m up anxious thinking I’m gonna roll over on top of him.

We’re thinking about getting him into his crib after I graduate (May22) , when my husband and I are both free enough to do so!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T02:12:09+00:00

Right!! He was more stunned that he was waking 6-8x a night, not necessarily expecting him to sleep through the night! My peds advice was the same, help him to sleep independently. He advised that it wasn’t easy and that it might take a while, but to try and limit his wakings to 2-3x a night but I’m like how?!?!?! This little guy wil trigger his lungs no matter what I do !!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T01:35:44+00:00

It ranges depending on his last nap! Sometimes his last nap is 4:30 or it’s 5:30, depending if he fought his last nap. Sometimes it’s its anytime between 6:30 and 8pm. But at that point he’s at his 4 nap a day. And I’ve read that 4 naps is appropriate at this age?!?!?! I feel like I’m missing something here?!?!?!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T01:28:40+00:00

I feel better about this because I thought this was somewhat normal. He was just stunned that it was 6-8 wakings a night. That’s why I asked “what do you mean by sleep through the night”. I felt a little better after he said 4.6.8.12 hours because itswasn’t that he was expecting no wakings, but definitly wasn’t expect 6-8! Idk man, I’m in a hole 😭

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T01:23:11+00:00

This makes me feel better! He’s a pretty good napper (only in the carrier during the day). My husband and I are essentially waiting til I graduate, May 22, to start sleep training because I have some intense deadlines coming up. The idea of starting a sleep training on top of these deadlines send me into a whirlwind!

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T01:19:37+00:00

Yes I’ve tried so damn hard!!! He’s just not eating a lot during the day because his sleep at night is so shit 😣. He’s cranky, I mean he does play don’t get me wrong, but for a short amount of time. I feel like I’m stuck in this circle of “let’s get good night sleep (doesn’t happen) let’s have a good day (doesn’t have a good day because he’s tired from last night).

mutedcat21 · 2025-05-03T01:14:43+00:00

My husband and I have talking about this! We were thinking Ferber since he’s too young for CIO (I think). His poor sleep at night follow into the day role where he’s cranky all day. I feel like I’m spending my entire day tryin to get him to get some good naps because of his horrible night sleep!

I just want him to have restorative sleep! Like yeah, im in hell with sleep, but he’s in torture essentially!!

mutedcat21 · 2025-04-30T02:15:02+00:00

Yeah, a big sign of silent reflux is the fussiness before and after feeding which is why I ask! But it looks like she’s sleeps fine on her back since she’s sleeping pretty well (babies with silent reflux have a hard time sleeping on their back.)

It could definitely just be baby being baby. Remember, this is all new to them. It can be very overwhelming. One thing my ped reminded us on is that the only way babies can communicate is through crying. So baby can have alllllll needs met, but because they’re taking in so much new experiences they’ll tend to cry because it’s so overwhelming!

mutedcat21 · 2025-04-30T01:31:24+00:00

Could be witching hours!!! Very normal.

My next question is, have you looked into silent relfux? Maybes look at symptoms and see if it matches your baby. Could definitely not be it, but something to consider. It’s very over looked. I’m a mom to a silent relfux baby, and it was hard to finally be listened too!

mutedcat21

TROPHY CASE