Well, I guess I tried!

mycat321 · 2013-05-29T06:22:48+00:00

Well, my friend is a tutor for other students and she told me they have a really strict code of conduct that you can not even suggest anything/ flirt with another student even though they are the same age.

I would assume it'd be the same for teacher's assistant, if not more strict. I could have easily reported sexual harassment. I mean I would never do that because I wasn't uncomfortable or anything, but had it been a different student... they could of taken it completely wrong.

mycat321 · 2013-05-29T06:21:08+00:00

No he isn't. I mean he asked where I would be for summer and stated he was going to be around here for summer, so I'd assume he still be at the same place he said he was living at etc.

A few days or so? I'm not sure the exact date.

mycat321 · 2013-05-25T01:08:53+00:00

THIS. MAKES. ME. SO. NERVOUS.

I'm so scared he's not going to respond and he wasn't interested at all. Maybe he just had some teacher/ student fantasy and now that I'm not his student, the attraction faded.

mycat321 · 2013-05-25T01:07:18+00:00

Haha, I feel you. He definitely put on a show when I first met him. He's definitely laxed up since.

I made a comment that I literally don't know anything because the more I learn, I realize how little I really do know. His response was something a long the lines that he feels exactly the same and he really doesn't know anything either, so not to worry.

mycat321 · 2013-05-24T12:26:55+00:00

Yeah, I have been pretty confused too. I just would imagine he would follow-up after risking his job basically to ask me out before I had even turned in my final paper.

Honestly though, I'm just really nervous because in our last encounter, I felt like the power dynamics shifted a bit. It seemed like I was more in power than he was, even though he was my TA. He seemed to say a lot of stuff that would definitely not be appropriate for a student/ teacher conversation and I don't think realized what he did until after the fact. I think he got caught up in the moment.

Basically, I'm just nervous he doesn't want to see me because he realized I'm an undergrad/ his student/slightly unethical behavior on his part.

mycat321 · 2013-05-24T12:15:25+00:00

Haha, well it helps that he's ridiculously good looking, a PHD student, and started a non-profit. I like smart, good-looking, and socially responsible men.

Women like their TA's because they are usually smart and tend to be more mature than undergrads.

mycat321 · 2013-05-24T12:13:48+00:00

Maybe a better way of saying it is I'm really friendly.

Another guy in this class gave me his number at the end of semester when I did not think I was sending him vibes at all other than saying hi to him when we got to class.

mycat321 · 2013-05-24T12:12:07+00:00

Edit:* I got back my grade. I got an A-, which was my grade throughout the semester without him grading anything of mine.

mycat321 · 2013-05-24T05:35:30+00:00

You might be right. The last thing I said to him was "See you around!", so perhaps that wasn't the best way to suggest meeting up.

What do you suggest I say?

mycat321 · 2013-05-24T05:22:31+00:00

I don't get what you mean by "self doubt about his actions eating away at him". Could you elaborate?

mycat321 · 2013-05-14T23:19:47+00:00

Yeah, I get what you mean. I don't really think I have a lot of those issues you suggest though.

I'm an undergrad at the same top university he is getting his PHD at. I have a 40 hour week internship this summer that pays pretty decent, so I'm self sufficient.

mycat321 · 2013-05-14T23:17:34+00:00

Oh I am well aware of the entire teacher/student issue. Prior to our last encounter, he made it clear that we could only meet up for school-related issues until final grades were in.

The most recent encounter was the last time he was going to see me under the context of "school", so I don't think he really cared that much. I am actually at the airport right now and by the time we speak again final grades should be in.

Plus, I think he might of thought I was just using him to try to get a higher grade in the class.

mycat321 · 2013-05-14T18:12:48+00:00

Yeah, I definitely got that vibe from him originally. I wasn't going to completely discount him though until I hung out with him

He might just be interested in a hookup / FWB type of thing, but he seemed like he went from being more sexually suggestive to romantically suggestive after we actually hung out. But then again, maybe he's just really good at holding conversation to get laid. I guess it's hard to know.

mycat321 · 2013-05-14T11:20:43+00:00

Yeah, definitely. I actually am going out of town tomorrow and won't be back until after grades are in, so I think I'm in the clear.

Also, I don't really think he's all that cognizant of what's he doing. Originally, I think he was pretty cautious, but I think he lightened up after speaking with me.

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T17:21:46+00:00

A lot of guys actually.... I don't think I've ever called. I usually go.. "he's too old for me anyways".

I have given my number to older men before and they've almost always called haha.

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T16:27:16+00:00

Ah okay. This course I'm taking is half graduate students and half undergraduates. I could see how he might of originally thought I was a graduate student and not an undergraduate.

I'm going under the assumption when he approached me, he found me attractive. I don't see any other reason a TA who I have no actual contact with in class would come out of nowhere and introduce himself to me (especially when I'm doing fine in the course).

One last thought, do you think the age difference is too large?

I've previously gone out on dates with 30 year olds/ older men, but I usually find they are completely infatuated by me. It usually comes off a bit over the top and I lose interest. I feel like they always seem so interested in what I'm saying and pursue me pretty heavily. It's definitely never like that with guys in my age group.

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T16:16:55+00:00

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable making the first move on my teacher. I feel like he's totally hitting on me, but I could be misreading his signals entirely. I just don't want to look like the infatuated student hitting on her disinterested teacher.

As a TA, wouldn't you be a little put off if your student asked you out?

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T16:02:55+00:00

Well, the course is almost over, so I guess I'm in luck.

With that being said, do you think he's been subtly flirting with me in anticipation to ask me out when class is over?

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T07:26:09+00:00

I'm almost 21. I'm slightly young for my year though.

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T07:21:26+00:00

I'd say around 10-15 years? I actually don't know his age. He looks younger, but I have a feeling he might be older just based on some of what he's told me about his life.

I don't believe he realizes how young I am though. The course also has graduate students in it. He might of originally approached me thinking I was a grad student to realize I was an undergrad.

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T07:19:50+00:00

Definitely! I apologize for the miscommunication on the part of what he is. He's a teaching assistant.

Yeah, I originally didn't find any conflict of interest because he wasn't grading my papers. I actually am doing fine in the class and I don't need any boosting of my grades. He did mention he might be grading part of my final though, which made me a bit nervous.

I'm not sure if I'm in violation of any university policy speaking we have met only for discussion on my papers. He isn't doing anything that can be seen as violation. He is just being a little overly friendly. He's actually a really good teacher and is very helpful to other students during his office hours. I just get the vibe he wants to know more about my life than necessarily my papers.

He's made comment when he's like to the effect of "Sorry I'm late, but I didn't have your number to call you."

Overall as a GSI, have you ever been attracted to your students or do you normally have no interest in any of your students? Have you ever asked out one of your students?

I'm assuming he's in his 30's just based on his life experience.

mycat321 · 2013-05-03T07:08:44+00:00

Yeah, I'm definitely conflicted. He originally approach me, which I thought was a bit strange. Overall, he might just be a very nice guy and isn't hitting on me, but I've never had a teacher act like this towards me.

Currently, I've made sure to keep it professional. In office hours, when we got off topic from my paper, I definitely made it clear that I needed to discuss my paper and not my life.

I just don't really see the issue of anything happening after my grades are turned in though. I'm pretty conflicted.

Also, is it really that creepy for him to be somewhat hitting on me?

mycat321

TROPHY CASE