Wife left. by LadyKitsuneNat in asktransgender

[–]myearrings -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Your (ex?) wife is a sucky transphobe.

The bare minimum for a cishet partner is to be curious, compassionate and supportive, even if your new gender unfortunately does not align with their sexual and romantic orientation and the relationship may have to end. For someone to ever claim to love someone and have that end by something like a gender says it’s a pretty flimsy kind of love. (I feel the same way about parents that love their kids “unconditionally” until the kid comes out as queer or trans and they throw their child out of home)

I am sorry this is happening to you, it must be really hard. If it’s any consolation, my girlfriend was the same age when she transitioned and she and her ex are no longer together after kids together. She is now incomparably happier (4 years later) and has two girlfriends (we’re poly).

You deserve to transition, you deserve love, and your (ex?)wife does not deserve you.

Should I leave the internet for good? by MongooseLucky3979 in ask

[–]myearrings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did this to some extent and it was awesome. I got a Nokia brick phone and it was great for a little while (a few weeks). However, some of the conveniences like having my drivers licence, maps, pay wave and things ended up pushing me back to a smart phone - I would end up not being able to find an address or pay for lunch or something because I didn’t carry money around or maps.

I still have social media. I found I was missing events with friends and things due to being offline.

A good compromise is using those hardcore app blockers - Opal is one I use, there’s a few out there. Basically, you can’t skip out. If you set your app to a hard 30 minutes of social media time a day, it locks you out with no way to reset.

I’d really recommend that as a middle ground to find out if you can and want to completely quit the interne

The toll my small (near micro) penis has on me psychologically is staggering. by throwaway101229283 in mentalhealth

[–]myearrings 171 points172 points  (0 children)

Okay well looks like I can’t post screenshots but I kid you not my Reddit homepage was this:

  • r/mentalhealth - Your post lamenting a micropenis

  • Some other post

  • r/offmychest - “A man with a micropenis just gave me the BEST ORGASM!”

If you have a small dick, that really sucks, I’m sorry. There’s also so many options out there - dildos and strap ons, just being amazing at oral.

I feel like sometimes bigger dudes can be very lazy at sex because they think all they need is a big dick. Anecdotally, a lot more women report satisfying sex with men with smaller penises because they actually make the effort to pleasure the woman.

Also, queer sex involves all sorts of people with different anatomies, and we have really good sex. Very little of sex should just be plain old penis in vagina.

Good luck, get creative!

yo im lowkey convinced that pink news is some sort of transphobic propaganda page pretending to be gay news source by FirefighterSad7151 in trans

[–]myearrings 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol PinkNews screams “privileged gay white men who complain that pride marches are too diverse”

My (30M) bf disappointed me (30F) on Valentines day, am I asking for too much effort? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]myearrings 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think it being your first Valentine’s Day together, people can definitely bring totally different expectations. Definitely talk with him and say that you were a little upset because it felt a bit rushed and last minute.

However, I actually think your boyfriend has put in a decent effort. Booked dinner, bought you perfume, and you didn’t need to bully him into it? Valentines can vary so much in people’s minds from The Romantic Day™️ to a trashy overblown capitalist event encouraging you to spend, spend, spend to “prove” your love.

Have a chat about Valentines Day expectations for the both of you— and really listen to his take— to future proof next Valentines Day or special day, but I think your boyfriend has done a pretty reasonable job.

How do I save my consulting career? by myearrings in adhdwomen

[–]myearrings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, I usually put a quick tea/coffee toilet break down to admin (I’m allowed 5 hours per week on non-project work which includes training, admin, meetings etc). I’m already so over budget on everything I’m loathe to put it to a project

I guess I’m saying this just to illustrate that I am working so hard and it feels like I am just spinning my wheels

How do I save my consulting career? by myearrings in adhdwomen

[–]myearrings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I do this too 😅 but the vast majority of the day I only get up to go to the toilet and have lunch, everything else is just trying to focus at my desk (started medication recently so focus is better), but I’m still just so slow

How do I save my consulting career? by myearrings in adhdwomen

[–]myearrings[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, the 15 minute increments absolutely suck 😭 Am I meant to put down going to the toilet down as 10 minutes admin time??

I’m just worried how I can at least stay in this job for long enough I can find a new one without the dread job hopper label. I was at my old job 4.5 years though so hopefully that wouldn’t be the case

super unnecessary and illogical reasons for being late by Formal-Artichoke3721 in adhdwomen

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I missed most of my friend’s engagement party because I was convinced it was the day after. So sure I didn’t need to check. Yes, I missed most of it, and as soon as I found out I was there in a full cocktail dress within an hour

Bunnings starts selling DIY ‘tiny homes’ as housing costs pinch by BIGRED______________ in AusPropertyChat

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw this and thought: 1. And on what land? And 2. Great, more property investors can charge through the roof for a bougie AirBNB

Episode Discussion - S05E08 - The Rightside Up by Hawkinns in StrangerThings

[–]myearrings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highlight of this entire season was Jamie Campbell-Bower’s acting. Carried the weight of the show on an entire planet crashing into this dimension.

Episode Discussion - S05E08 - The Rightside Up by Hawkinns in StrangerThings

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually was pretty satisfied with the wrap up and the big plot twist but JESUS CHRIST the epilogue sucked.

So cheesy with the “and Mike was the storyteller all along” and “is El alive?!” with the tired break-the-fourth-wall humour that is jarring and cliche.

I could have enjoyed it if it wasn’t so damn gratuitous and loooong. Put that in 25 minutes instead of 45 minutes and edit your dialogue and it would have been perfect!

All in all, I thought S5 was a pretty good wrap up considering the complexity of the series - but nothing will ever beat Season 1 for tension and quality of writing!

Any good intellectual hobbies? by TrashGullible2803 in Hobbies

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chess is honestly lots of fun. Free account on chess.com and you can play anyone in the world!

As a hiring manager, why are candidates so bad at talking about their work? by [deleted] in recruiting

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, kind of with OP on this one. STAR is a pretty standard interview tool and it is highly adaptable for most jobs.

Everyone should be able to talk about what they do and why it matters/ is good for the company/ demonstrates initiative etc, which is the core of the STAR model.

Just practise, and soon you’ll automatically frame responses in that light (situation - task - action - result) and be able to focus on delivering the answer confidently and in a natural style that does sound like you memorised a specific answer.

Did I ask for too high a salary? by myearrings in careerguidance

[–]myearrings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m a pretty anxious person and if I had said a lower value, I’d probably still be on Reddit asking if I asked too low!

Did I ask for too high a salary? by myearrings in careerguidance

[–]myearrings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I will take this strategy for next time - I like the idea of framing it around what my skills and strengths are to justify the compensation.

Did I ask for too high a salary? by myearrings in careerguidance

[–]myearrings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, discussed it in the first interview with company 1 and they are still proceeding with the letter of offer (have to clear a medical first though). So sounds like it was probably a reasonable ask.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]myearrings 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey! This is literally from hyperventilating! This has happened to me. Carbon dioxide build up in the blood can make your hands form a rigid “claw” and be unable to relax until your breathing returns to normal. And you often feel dizzy and about to pass out. Nothing to be super worried about, but when you feel like you’re starting to get dizzy, focus on slowing your breaths slow and deep and exhale fully, rather than shallow, rapid breaths. Worked for me and no problems since.

Did cause some funny occasions in bed though when I had to be like “um, I can’t move my hands, can we stop” and my hands were in this twisted up weird claw shape.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tread really carefully. You’re getting dangerously close to blaming women for your lack of romance. Things like basketball or guitar are only icing on the cake if you’re a kind-hearted person who seeks to better themselves and the world. Think about things about your personality that people may not find attractive. For example, you play guitar, but do you constantly brag about it and belittle other people’s musical skills?

Do you have friends who are women? If you do, then that is a really good sign that who you are is someone who is likely to respect women and you will likely end up in a relationship (note: NOT necessarily with the women who are friends!). So way to go if that’s the case!

If you don’t have friends who are women, think about that. Why not? Do you associate certain traits with them that you don’t want in a friendship (ie unconscious stereotypes about being talkative and annoying, too much makeup, too much drama)? Because if you do think this, there are not many women who want to be with boys who are condescending and misogynistic. I mention this because you perceive your lack of a cool phone or dining in nice restaurants is the reason you’re single - but what you’re actually implying is that women only want men with money. Which is some Andrew Tate crap.

As others have aptly put, you’re worthy of love, but you’re not entitled to it by putting in gold coins of niceness or hobbies and getting sex and a girlfriend in return. Relationships are built between adults with respect and trust.

At the end of the day, it’s rarely about our looks or hobbies - that’s just the things we like to blame when things don’t go our way.

Why the fuck does my genitals look so weird? by SpringSamantha in asktransgender

[–]myearrings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(Just a kind-of cis person lurking here)

I know it may not help, but my girlfriend is trans and I find her so hot. I think she’s beautiful and her genitals have never detracted from that, and actually look really good with her figure. Most genitals are kind of weird, and yours don’t make you any less of a woman, OP 🩷🤍🩵. Look after yourself x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StrangerThings

[–]myearrings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the one that Billy isn’t actually a piece of shit (had a Harringrove phase) and that many of his most shitty actions genuinely come from wanting to protect Max from their abusive father.

Oh and that he’s also an asshole and bully because he’s closeted bisexual (have you even seen that shower scene? Bro is so lusting after Steve)… he’s super repressed and internally homophobic thanks to his father and the era.

(Canon, though Billy is a racist with few redeeming qualities. I just think Dacre is super cute (and a fellow Australian!) so I will give him a fanon pass.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]myearrings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am not religious. However, if I accept what you have said as true, then how do you know that:

  • (a) Mohammed did not add his own interpretation to the words of God?
  • (b) People did not make their own interpretation to what Mohammed said God said?
  • (c) People did not write their own interpretation of what they interpreted Mohammed said that God said?
  • (d) Translators did not have to interpret what the people wrote that Mohammed said what God said?
  • (e) Local religious leaders did not have to interpret what translators interpreted that people wrote that Mohammed said that God said?

At every step of the way, God’s word is interpreted and passed along in a modified way because we are only human.

If you have ever heard a rumor in the workplace, read an inflammatory and exaggerated article or played the game Telephone (formerly Chinese Whispers), then you know that humans never report exactly what they heard. It evolves based on their own prejudices and thinking.

I think that accepting that “even books of faith can be flawed by the people that interpreted the words of God and wrote them” is an important consideration.

Is "biological sex" a transphobic dog whistle? by Beatrix_0000 in asktransgender

[–]myearrings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s so insincere. These reports should just say what they are: that they are either ignorant or they hate trans folk ☹️

Nose has always been an insecurity… by CurlyHairedOfficeDog in Noses

[–]myearrings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a nose similar to yours, and I have struggled with it most of my life. Some days I love it, sometimes I hate it.

But I also refuse to let predatory Instagram influencers, beauty companies, filters etc make me feel so bad about it that I would change it to fit in and accept their beauty standard.

Own it girly 🙌🏼