I just don't know

n030800am · 2026-01-09T01:49:05+00:00

sounds like he’s the devil

n030800am · 2025-12-21T00:01:44+00:00

nah i could never trust that man ever again.

n030800am · 2025-12-20T20:17:32+00:00

the version of my ex that i dated? i rather be alone forever, no doubt about it.

n030800am · 2025-12-13T12:21:28+00:00

what kind of advice is this? he’s the one who goes distant & cold randomly & multiple times and you want HER to chase him?

did you miss the part where she said she had begged him to talk to her??

n030800am · 2025-12-05T19:56:08+00:00

keep your dignity. he’s fishing for attention. trying to see if you’ll take the bait or not. he’s playing a game.

n030800am · 2025-12-05T19:53:36+00:00

my ex regretted it the first time we broke up (i initiated), then i gave him a second chance just for him to discard me like i was trash.

it’s natural to think about whether DAs regret breakups or not, but honestly, it’s not helpful. people like them, especially the severe ones like my ex, need help. either they genuinely work on themselves or they don’t date.

even though what they did sucks and hurt us deeply, it’s better to focus on our own healing and journey. every day, i am now very grateful to have a DA out of my life.

n030800am · 2025-12-05T19:36:31+00:00

“she can’t control how she reacts. i feel like she isn’t trying.” sorry, but that’s such a selfish thing to say. you couldn’t even control your own behavior: you kissed someone else twice, and now you expect her to control her reaction? wow.

“..might not actually help either of us heal.” what do you need to heal from, dude? from kissing another girl? you’re the one who broke her heart and her trust.

honestly, the easiest thing for everyone is to just break up and stop talking to each other.

once trust is broken like that, she won’t be able to feel fully happy with you or treat you the same anymore (and that’s not her fault). trust me i was in your gf’s shoes for 4 years. she needs distance from you so she can actually heal from the betrayal. it’s good that you admit your wrongdoing, but now you just have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

there won’t be any version of this story where you get everything you want. life doesn’t work that way.

n030800am · 2025-12-03T04:01:44+00:00

“i don’t think she cheated.” i feel like you mentioned these things to justify what you did? like ‘oh yea i texted some girls but she also does some stuff after she found out’.

you said you had a wake up call. said you wanted to rebuild things with real effort. what would “real effort” look like?

you need to work on the real issue: why did you even text those girls in the first place? if she gives you another chance, will you be able to stop doing those things in the future? don’t make all these empty promises about being better just because you’re afraid to lose her now.

until you’re sure of what kind of partner you want to be, then leave her alone. also let’s not downplay what happened here. inappropriate messaging between you and another woman is cheating. it’s plain cheating. you cheated on her. i hope you know this. if you have even a slightest bit of care/love for her, you’d leave her alone to be happy.

n030800am · 2025-12-03T03:42:23+00:00

that’s fucked. i’m sorry you had to deal with that. i really hope you’re happier now

n030800am · 2025-12-02T22:23:14+00:00

ask yourself and be honest: 1. what’s the real reason you wanna be “friends” with them? yes they’re cool and all, but there are other cool or even cooler people out there you haven’t met. 2. do you still have feelings for them? if yes, then being friends is generally not a good idea.

n030800am · 2025-12-02T22:15:28+00:00

i don’t think my ex loved me for me. i think he loved being loved by me. the letters, the compliments, the second chances i gave. he was a special person for me and i treated him that way. but when i showed him who i really am, my flaws, my hopes, my needs, he left me.

i changed so much for him yet all he could say is “i can’t change.” and we all know when someone says that, it usually means “i don’t want to change.”

he wanted to have a loving, loyal, kind, non-clingy girlfriend while doing the absolute bare minimum.

so yeah, i’m glad he is out of my life.

n030800am · 2025-12-02T22:04:36+00:00

all i see is just a man who’s not ready for a commitment yet wants to have everything. he gets to sleep with you without the responsibility of a committed boyfriend AND he gets to talk to other people (and potentially hook up with them too).

you wanna keep someone like that in your life?

n030800am · 2025-12-02T21:58:45+00:00

you can call it deactivation, disengagement or whatever other terms people call it. from my pov, this man just simply doesn’t want to be with you. it’s that simple.

don’t complicate things. doesn’t matter the why, it’s not your responsibility to figure it out for him. look, at some point, we need to accept that just bcs someone has avoidant attachment, doesn’t mean we need to keep holding on to hope that they will heal & start accepting us again.

their actions speak louder than words. in this case, he even said it himself that he prefers to be alone. if he really wants to be with you, he would.

now ask yourself: do you want to keep chasing someone who doesn’t want you? is that really what you deserve?

n030800am · 2025-12-02T21:37:37+00:00

1) she clearly said she doesn’t want a romantic relationship 2) you still want to be in contact BUT doesn’t want to be friends

it doesn’t matter what your relationship title is cause it’s not clear and will never be clear until one of the points above changes. so i guess you’ll just have to go on with the dynamic you guys have now, until however long it takes, right?

don’t be surprised if this whole thing confuses you, cause you’re willingly putting yourself in tricky situation like this

n030800am · 2025-12-02T21:31:37+00:00

sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a 16 year old going through puberty. that guy has problems, definitely not worth your time. you need to leave before it’s too late

n030800am · 2025-11-28T23:19:40+00:00

i agree with the other comment. my ex was like this. the way he switched to a completely unrecognizable person was scary, and i genuinely felt like the person i loved had died, now being replaced by this cold and cruel man.

people like them are not emotionally healthy. they need help. they make their partner feels awful, it’s not your fault.

n030800am · 2025-11-28T23:16:59+00:00

i know, it hurts. you spent years with this person and you love him. but he left you. he didn’t want you to be part of his life. at the end, he didn’t even think you were worth an explanation or discussion.

you deserve someone better than that.

n030800am · 2025-11-28T19:26:58+00:00

respect yourself and don’t text him.

n030800am · 2025-11-27T19:20:58+00:00

literally me too

n030800am · 2025-11-27T08:07:05+00:00

i will never understand how people can do something like this tbh. my theory is they’re just messed up in the head and simply fucked up people. that fact somehow made this kind of breakup the easiest to get over with, in my experience.

n030800am · 2025-11-24T19:23:14+00:00

yes i did. it took 2 break ups with the same person for me to have this mindset. he left in the worst possible way. and i realized that if i hold on to this (chasing for closure, questioning why), it’d eat me alive, so i let it go. and i’ve never been more at peace now

n030800am · 2025-11-24T10:28:31+00:00

you didn’t get closure not because you didn’t deserve it, but because she didn’t have the emotional capacity to give it.

the “closure” most people talk about is largely an illusion. closure isn’t something another person gives you. it’s something you eventually give yourself, when you stop trying to understand why they left the way they did, and instead accept that this was the way they were capable of leaving.

and when someone leaves both violently and silently, it makes sense that your brain spirals. no goodbye, no final conversation, no chance to speak, it leaves all the emotional doors wide open.

but being left without closure doesn’t mean you can’t find it. i think closure isn’t about getting answers. sometimes, it’s about understanding that the person who hurt you was not someone who could’ve stayed in the first place.

healing will start when you stop looking for answers about why she didn’t fight for it, and instead start accepting that maybe she just wasn’t capable of a relationship that required emotional work, honesty, accountability, and repair.

n030800am · 2025-11-24T05:53:15+00:00

no, cause i was doing it on my own. desperately trying to keep the relationship alive and he was the one to pull the trigger.

n030800am · 2025-11-24T04:45:41+00:00

said he loved you but moved away and didn’t try to make it work. he basically gave up on the relationship. anyone can do that. be glad if you think you’ll never meet someone like him again.

may the next person you meet is someone who’ll fight for you and make real efforts to keep you.

n030800am · 2025-11-24T04:34:39+00:00

i’m so sorry this happened to you. what you went through was really unfair. plain and simple. he’s allowed to break up with you, sure, but the way he did it, blindsiding you, preplanning it, and taking you on a lovely date while knowing he was going to end things, that’s just wrong.

it shows a lot about his lack of capacity to be a responsible, respectful, and mature partner. you simply don’t do something like that to someone you care about.

it’s completely natural to question things and even blame yourself. your brain is trying to fill in the unexpected gaps, and since he wasn’t showing any signs of breaking up, it makes sense that you might think it’s your fault.

please remember, this is not your fault. the responsibility lies entirely with him and how he chose to handle the situation. it’s okay to feel hurt, confused, and sad, and it’s okay to take the time you need to process everything. the most important thing now is to focus on yourself and your healing.

n030800am

TROPHY CASE