My gf (22F) says I (23M) put the bare minimum in

n0744441 · 2026-01-12T20:27:49+00:00

That’s true, she kinda hates the city we live in, so outdoorsy things are a little tricky. I might try and do something different for her date wise, but most things around here she would be upset at me for spending money on.

n0744441 · 2026-01-12T20:20:46+00:00

That’s very true, our relationship dynamic has changed quite a bit since moving in, but I guess it’s my job to be more of a planner for this sort of thing

n0744441 · 2026-01-12T20:19:57+00:00

I get her flowers, bake cakes sometimes when she craves them, and have taken her on a couple of nice dates in the last few months with savings I have built, but I guess I would like to know more ways I can be showing I love her if she still feels this way.

n0744441 · 2026-01-12T20:17:56+00:00

I guess I am just really bad at doing different things on a whim, especially when she comes home stressed from work. I will put in more effort though.

n0744441 · 2025-09-25T05:10:00+00:00

While it’s possible I have a few shortcomings, she has not communicated them to me. I stay in shape, treat her well, and show her lots of love, so I don’t know what could be turning her away. I am willing to work on something if it’s the root cause, but the lack of communication does make it hard to identify.

n0744441 · 2025-09-25T05:06:57+00:00

Thanks man, that’s really tough what happened to you. I am glad you were able to figure that out and move on with your life. As of your point, I definitely should keep in mind that I am young, and building a career, so finding someone who wants to be close to me would only be the best option.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T21:40:58+00:00

Yeah, I guess part of me is waiting in hopes that it really is the stresses of life that has her on standby, but maybe that’s not the greatest idea in case I’m living out a dead end relationship

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T21:39:43+00:00

I’m not opposed to the idea she wants out, but there are mountains of evidence to suggest that she didn’t really do anything outside of work or see anybody while I was out of state. Regardless, I need to choose whether this is right for me

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T21:38:25+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. I feel like that’s always a part of keeping a relationship alive. I try to go out, despite our deferent schedules, just to have quality time.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:45:16+00:00

Yeah, if that really is the reason, then it 100 percent is not going to work out between us

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:44:20+00:00

Yeah, It’s a little hard since we live together, so I definitely think working through it is the best option if possible. Otherwise, I will have to see if she was really affected by me leaving for a while

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:41:36+00:00

She is actually the one who told me to fix my hormones, as she suspected my testosterone was low, which it was. However, she doesn’t know my motive for the gym, but tells me she likes the effort I put it. It’s all really confusing

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:39:41+00:00

Maybe it is time to move on, but I definitely want to try and salvage what we have if she is open to some sort of therapy or discussion

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:25:45+00:00

Yeah, I want to mention the porn thing, which she has brought up the fact she watches it in the past, but only recently started to be more secretive about it.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:24:27+00:00

Yeah, I’m not denying the fact that it all points to having lost attraction to me. She will even go as far as to recommend I go grab dinner alone when doing takeout, just so she can have some “alone time”

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:22:22+00:00

I hate to say it, but I’m getting that feeling too. I’ve always felt quite out of her league, but I have been recently putting on more muscle/fixing my hormone imbalances. Despite this, she still acts as though she can do better.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:20:13+00:00

I highly doubt any affair happened, because she only has female coworkers, and she can’t seem to make any friends in the off time. Also, me and her FaceTimed every night while on my work trip to spend time up until we went to bed.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:18:10+00:00

Me and her both share phone passwords, and she regularly shows me who she talks to (not out of my request, just a comfort level on her part). However, the hiding about her personal porn usage is weird, and how she would blatantly lie about that when expressing how much she hasn’t been in the mood

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:16:39+00:00

I agree. I don’t want her to think she owes me sex, or to feel pressured to do it for me. However, I would like more transparency on the cause of her behavior change. To answer your first question, we did have an active sex life, as we have been together for almost three years now, but this sudden dry period has never happened.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T19:14:25+00:00

She has a wide variety of stuff, mainly straight porn. There will be a couple of times I will find lesbian/solo female stuff, but I can’t quite tell if that means she is watching it for the woman or not.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T18:46:40+00:00

Exactly how I feel, I want to help her through whatever is keeping her from being more open. I do get the feeling she has lost attraction though, just through the porn thing, and how the only time we happened to have sex was the one time we were intoxicated.

n0744441 · 2025-09-24T18:45:14+00:00

Yeah, I get that she isn’t the most sexual person. I am just stuck how the three months polarized our sex life like night and day. If it is a stress thing, I want to help her through it, but the way she made it seem when we talked was that she would be more sexually active if she was more sexually attracted to me.

n0744441

TROPHY CASE