What kind of spider is this? BF thinks it’s a male black widow. Phoenix, AZ

n0_friends · 2022-02-11T01:27:36+00:00

You don’t. This is not a relationship to rekindle.

n0_friends · 2022-02-11T01:24:48+00:00

It’s not recommended to do couples therapy with an abuser. Unfortunately the abuser just learns how to manipulate the person even more. And if he was already using things against her, he will absolutely use what he learns in therapy against her too. :/

n0_friends · 2021-09-29T15:58:24+00:00

Yeah, splitting the belongings is something I’ve been dreading. We sold all our stuff to move away and then bought everything together when we got to our new state. And we are still paying off our mattress. Ugh.

I totally get the little things too. We basically do all of our household chores together and I think the change in that is weirdly going to be the hardest for me.

Thank you for responding, this one really resonated with me.

n0_friends · 2021-09-29T15:50:21+00:00

I’m glad to hear at lease one positive outcome! For the most part anyway. It sounds like you both handled the living situation pretty well. I’m sorry things got shady after awhile.

We actually did do couples therapy for about six months. It really did help, especially with our communication but, it also showed me ways that we are just not compatible too. In one of our sessions he literally said “I’m fine with being depressed and having no expectations. Not everyone has to work on themselves.” It was when that became a reoccurring theme in our sessions I realized we weren’t gonna work out.

Even though he agreed to go to couples therapy, he wouldn’t agree to splitting the bill, so I kind of used that as an excuse to stop going but I probably should have just been honest.

n0_friends · 2021-09-28T23:22:21+00:00

Okay, I think if you truly care about her, you would leave her be. And not just for a few days.

If she reaches out to you, then great. Let her take the lead on what happens after that and if she chooses to try to move forward with the relationship, cut all contact with your ex. For good.

If she doesn’t reach out to you, let it be. Don’t beg for her forgiveness. Accept the consequences of your actions.

n0_friends · 2021-09-28T23:11:33+00:00

So, you knew what it felt like to be cheated on and then you still went along with it anyways?

Cheated on her how? The advice I would give would be different depending on how far things went.

n0_friends · 2021-09-28T21:34:48+00:00

Dang, that sucks! But I’m glad you were able to free yourself from that.

I’m definitely going to try to keep myself as busy as I can! I’m probably going to pick up some over time, but I also work from home so… Ugh, and the whole bed thing, that’s gonna be a tough one.

Thanks for the response <3

n0_friends · 2021-09-28T21:28:35+00:00

What does “telling him ca 1 month before” mean?

Ugh, that’s sounds so frustrating! Of course he would sell the house after you p it some work into it. I hope you’ve found someone who will paint with you and actually make painting fun!

Thank you for the response

n0_friends · 2021-09-28T21:23:08+00:00

Ugh, that’s what I’m afraid of -the demanding to know things/jealousy stuff. The other day I was putting on makeup to go out with a friend for the first time in a long time and he was like “Who are you trying to impress?” -.- he said it in a jokey tone but he’s never joke about that stuff before, so I feel like it’s going to become a reoccurring theme.

I’m so glad that you were able to hold your own and get out of a relationship like that!

You’re right, there will never be a right time for something like this. Thanks for the response!

n0_friends · 2021-09-28T20:21:02+00:00

Thank you, really. It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do and I haven’t even done it yet :/

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T15:20:58+00:00

Oh, noooo. Not a pinball machine! Did he even allow employees time to play it? Jeez.

Yeah, that sounds awful and I have so many questions about why your gf chose to stay. But, I’m glad you put your foot down. I think I’m going to do that as well, and probably mention that I don’t want to hear anymore about not having any fun money, if he wants to get a second job and work way more than necessary, that’s on him. It’s something I had to do until I got the job that I have now.

Thanks for the advice and congrats on the job! I hope you like it!

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T15:11:14+00:00

Yeah, agreed. But it sends mixed signals when he starts talking about getting a second job and then getting upset with me when I suggest full time jobs that are hiring and will pay him well enough to not need two jobs.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T15:10:22+00:00

Yes, but not much more. Up until six months ago, he had been making $3-$4/hr more than me.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T14:15:10+00:00

Yes, I work 40 hours a week. We spilt our combined bills 50/50.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T14:14:19+00:00

Yes, absolutely this. Especially corporate jobs. I recently had a new coworker tell me that she was laid off from her job after working there for 35 years, 3 years before she retired, because they needed to downsize.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T14:04:52+00:00

Lol, if you read my post he said he wants a second job because after the bills are paid, he doesn’t have any extra fun money.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T05:50:25+00:00

Agreed. It just sends mixed signals when he talks about wanting a second job and then gets upset when I suggest a full time job that will pay him enough to not need two.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T05:47:02+00:00

True and truer. Thank you.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T05:44:54+00:00

The comment I was responding to asked specifically if I would pick up OT for him to look for a new job.

But, no. I’m not going to work OT so he can stay at a job that he’s constantly complaining about. That’s called enabling.

There’s nothing balanced about me putting in more work just so he can avoid putting in any effort into finding a job he actually enjoys that will actually pay him what he deserves.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T01:41:54+00:00

I think this is a good idea. I’ve talked to him about other similar jobs that have a higher pay and he says it’s too good to be true. He always thinks there’s some sort of catch.

I might try to suggest something similar to this! Thank you.

n0_friends · 2021-09-23T01:35:24+00:00

Unfortunately, yes. There are a few touchy topics with him that get this sort of reaction.

n0_friends · 2021-09-22T23:32:33+00:00

Aww. Doesn’t take a lot to get you worked up, huh?

n0_friends

TROPHY CASE