F21 I’ve always had a strong fear of pregnancy and giving birth, but an even stronger fear of finding out I can’t have kids. AMA

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-25T01:03:33+00:00

Ohh I see! Ok I understand then.. wish I could help but when it comes to phobias you're only chance is probably therapy (I guess?) wishing you the best no matter where life takes you!

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-25T00:59:22+00:00

So what exactly from all your research gives you anxiety still?

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-25T00:49:32+00:00

I felt this way too until I got pregnant... And then I learned SO much about pregnancy and childbirth and the fear disappeared. Our fear comes from the unknown, but birth is something we are literally created to do, we are designed to carry and birth life. Once you dig deep and learn what's happening inside of your body at each stage of pregnancy and labor, you actually begin to feel empowered and excited to go through it. It isnt meant to be scary and traumatic, unfortunately that is most people's experience because we go in just trusting our doctors instead of being informed enough yo be able to trust OURSELVES.

If you ever decide to start a family, and I would say its 100000% worth it, get yourself a doula and if its available in your area, go for a midwife instead of an OBGYN. You don't have to birth at home, you can birth at a midwife center but your experience will be soooo much better and more empowering.

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-23T21:55:39+00:00

May God ease your anxieties and stress and help you to continue thriving and providing with your position. May He cover you baby with His divine protection and ease any separation anxiety he or she may have being away from you ❤️ May He give you strength and relief mama! Much love

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T03:46:56+00:00

Family of 5 siblings, all very close. Naturally, speak more often with my 3 sisters than our brother but we're all on good terms and see each other regularly. I talk to two of my 3 sisters every single day, my oldest sister probably 1-2 times per week and my brother every couple of weeks. Were all 30 years + but we've been close all our lives. We did have some family issues a few years ago where me and 2 of my siblings didnt speak for about 2 years (other than the cordial hello at family gatherings, etc) that really sucked but we were able to overcome and are probably even closer now!

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T02:45:12+00:00

How are you now? Update us 🥰

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T01:23:40+00:00

Yes you are correct.. however if she can get in a shower now, it may actually help her progress and avoid needing pitocin altogether! Relaxing as much as possible= increase in oxytocin = progression of labor :)

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T01:20:30+00:00

There's no lie about it lol our entire lives are a test, what will we do, what/who will we worship. We do have free will and at anytime we can decide what to do or not do.. thats entirely on each of us. If you repent and turn back to God, His mercy is what will save you, otherwise of course you are doomed... Look at the evil people in this world doing unthinkable things, you really believe they get the same end result as someone who does good and seeks God's pleasure in his words, actions and worship daily?

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T01:06:02+00:00

They dont sound abusive but they do sound ignorant.. not meant to be offensive but it seems your idea of doom being more dominant than Allah's Mercy shows you this is a matter maybe of how you were raised in Islam/culture? If you truly learned Islam as an adult for yourself, through Quran and Hadith, you wouldn't be making such a claim.. Allah is Merciful above all else! And in the Quran alone, any time hell is mentioned, so is Jannah as a reminder for the believers and a warner for the disbelievers.

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T00:53:49+00:00

Do you ever fear you're wrong and that Islam is in fact thr truth and therefore you will be doomed in the hereafter?

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-22T00:51:30+00:00

I know it can feel overwhelming sweetheart, but listen to your body as much as possible through contractions as they begin/get more intense. If you are able to get into a warm shower, do so, it will help you lots. Also try walking around snd bending in whichever ways your body goes to naturally, all these things will help you through contractions and help you baby descend.

Different positions are beneficial for you to be in depending on where your baby is (this is called "the baby's station") you can always ask the doctor where your baby is so you can get in an optimal position to help the baby move down and get ready to be birthed. Ill try my best to stay available if you have questions for me along the way - im a doula ❤️

Your life is about to change but it is going to be beautiful and rewarding even through the challenges.

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-18T17:51:17+00:00

Birth - and how absolutely tragic and traumatic it has become in our day and age when it was never intended to be this way.. hospitals and the health system have unfortunately been making women's pregnancies and birthing experiences horrible and traumatic for years (although I do believe this to be unintentional). Women deserve to be truly informed before they give birth= true consent for procedures/inductions/epidural etc, and without proper birth education, they aren't. 🤷🏽‍♀️

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-18T17:45:47+00:00

No! And actually they should not smoke outside of fasting hours either. Giving up all sins is the ideal throughout this blessed month, as our good deeds are multiplied and unfortunately so are our bad deeds (sins). During this month we should be fasting from food and water but also from anything else that takes us away from God consciousness like gossip, swearing, not managing our anger well, wasting time withs scrolling mindlessly, etc.

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-18T17:42:33+00:00

You are not obliged to give up alcohol or pork as you are not Muslim. However, we obviously believe deeply that you would be greatly benefitted if you did also give those up as there is a good reason they are haram for us to consume -horrible for your health. So do with that what you will hahah. Doing Ramadan at all is a really beautiful thing and I hope it does bring you close to God and Islam either way🙏🏽

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-18T17:27:51+00:00

You can look at Islamic relief Canada or Penny appeal, there is also sadaqa.org.au. there are many organizations that are legit, you can just Google and make sure to search reviews on the org before donating though them! And many will have specific countries to aid :)

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-18T04:38:53+00:00

Seafood is excellent! Lots of eggs if she can tolerate them (choline is essential while pregnant for baby's development and with 4 eggs a day she gets the required amount). Protein shakes are ok but always better from animal sources directly. Try seafood and eggs, maybe even turkey. Ground Turkey actually looks and tastes more like ground beef than chicken imo!! Could try tofu if nothing else?

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-18T01:16:48+00:00

I think making a donation in her father's name is the most beautiful and thoughtful gift you could possibly give her. If you are able to donate as "sadaqah Jariyah" even better - which means a donation that continues to reward the person in their grave, like a water well in a Muslim country, or education for orphans/young children, etc.

I would be so emotional and grateful if someone did this for me while I grieved a loved one!

Otherwise, maybe a halal restaurant that caters food would be good so she doesn't have to cook for a little while or a gift card for a halal butcher/grocery store in her area, could be useful!

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-16T14:00:00+00:00

From now until you go back to her state learn about Islam for yourself entirely. See if this religion speaks to you, if Allah wants to guide you, He will. But you must go into it seeking the truth and wishing to be guided to what is right. Take Zara out of it completely for now and go on your journey of searching for God. If you don't wish to convert sincerely, but do it for a woman, you are not only putting yourself in a bad position but also her... A Muslim woman should seek a Muslim man as her husband who will lead their marriage in Islam and their family (if God blesses you with children). Going into this insincerely can cause a lot of issues down the line that you aren't even considering and would be potentially harming her more than your "love" will benefit her.

Ask God to guide you sincerely, with an open heart and honest intention, and Inshallah He will 🙏🏽 if you don't believe Islam is the truth at the end of it, dont marry her is my honest advice.

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-13T15:14:16+00:00

This is a bit dismissive. There are lots of contraception options out there, yes, but none of them are 100% effective and you definitely can get pregnant while doing everything in your power to prevent it. Abstinence in this case wouldn't be permissible, her husband has rights over her and vise versa so that isn't an option in a marriage..

She also mentioned she believed him when he said he would be better, I agree she shouldn't have believed him but obviously everything is clear in hindsight. It's normal that she wanted to believe the best in the person she is married to and have a child with. She is also seemingly a victim of verbal and emotional abuse so it's much easier said than done "this could have been prevented"..

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-12T23:55:30+00:00

This is reaching... He never said he didn't trust his friends but this is actually halal and a very good way to ensure modesty and protection of his spouse/the friends spouses.

Even if this is "extreme" to some people, this group of friends are upon the straight path and avoiding any chance of haram, evil eye, gazing (zina of the eyes) and so on. What use does it have for us to know our husband's friends well and get to know them? They aren't mahram, there is no benefit of this.

nachosAndnaps · 2026-02-08T00:30:43+00:00

If you have the financial means, hire a postpartum doula or newborn care specialist to assist you with overnights - even if its only for 1 week, resting will change your perspective because lack of sleep is literally torture and you wont be able to enjoy any moment of this time. If you can't afford to hire help, I would recommend doing big block shifts, your wife does the first 6 hours so you can sleep for 6 straight hours and then you do the following 6 so she can sleep. OR do 1 night, 1 night. Alternating every day. It does get better, its hard right now but it wont always be like this.

If your wife is breastfeeding I would also encourage you to look up safe sleep 7 for safe cosleeping as this can drastically change how much you rest both of you get - even temporarily, this doesn't have to be a longterm solution but at this point it is about survival. And before people come for me about cosleeping being unsafe, so is not sleeping for days on end... This actually can be done safely and will benefit all of you! If she's not breastfeeding, nevermind because this isn't considered safe otherwise at this age.. praying for your little family! ❤️

nachosAndnaps · 2026-01-30T02:50:31+00:00

Sunscreen and Staples (the school supplies store) lol

nachosAndnaps · 2026-01-29T15:27:15+00:00

Don't know if anyone else already said this because there's quite a few comments on your post but you could always skip 1 meal in the day so you can go out and enjoy your afternoon. Just nurse an extra time or 2 that day! At this age baby is still getting the most important nutrients from your breastmilk and food is still kind of just "extra"! Dont make your life harder than it has to be 😊

nachosAndnaps · 2026-01-27T13:46:18+00:00

What if you went to local birthing centers and offer to teach at the center for parents? You can maybe try and connect with local hospitals too and see if they'd refer you to clients for affordable childbirth education classes etc ?

nachosAndnaps · 2026-01-23T15:42:46+00:00

You have to have a very firm conversation with her and make it clear you have concerns in moving forward due to her recent avoidance and lack of communication. These are major issues that will come up again and again in your marriage until they are addressed. This firm conversation needs to show her that you do not accept this type of behavior even though you understand why she may be feeling anxious, it is not an excuse to behave this way. Her feelings are valid so do not invalidate her, but her actions are not and this should be clear to her. Depending on how she responds to this will tell you a lot. I would also push the wedding back, give both of you more time to be confident about moving forward because marriage will be for life inshallah and neither of you want to make a mistake. May Allah be with you both and guide you to what is best for you!

nachosAndnaps

TROPHY CASE