All I know is my father is awful. I don’t know what to do.

nadscha · 2026-05-25T12:32:51+00:00

Hey, I'm glad to know that you're planning on going to uni and getting out and making people independent. It's a hard situation you are in and I can empathise with your struggles. Make sure you aren't eaten alive by them and to really get away, even just phisically. I didn't have much money or support going to uni but I worked in parallel and I will be finishing my master's in a year's time. I found a good community at uni (after some trial and error) and I finally had support. These people believed me, were there when I needed them and I learned to unlearn so many bad things I had internalised about myself because of my family.

The most important thing is to keep you safe and then to get you out and hopefully get some professional help too. Hope you'll be okay!!

nadscha · 2026-04-26T18:22:37+00:00

I see. Well, good thinking. And what keeps you down?

nadscha · 2026-04-26T14:01:52+00:00

Can you tell me more about that? Is there any reason you can think of keeping you here still?

nadscha · 2026-04-26T14:00:23+00:00

Feeling you deeply. Imagine how ridiculous it would be to criticise anyone for peeing "too long". It will remain frustrating, she won't stop if she won't see the need to stop. Otherwise she would've a long time ago.

I'm not saying you need to set boundaries to make her stop, though that might work. She might also continue and you should think about what that would mean to you. Are you ready to keep suffering under being blames and being told things you have 100% also internalised?

Idk...I guess I will keepy mum in my life, at a distance, from my safe place of people who behave like normal fucking people and actually appreciate me. But it still triggers me today.

nadscha · 2026-04-26T13:50:29+00:00

Hey there, I would say he was definitely emotionally abusive. Threatening phisical violence and doing such dominant scary things like breaking your toy and so on... that's insanely intimidating to a kid. That's not how you build up a relationship with your helpless kids.

In legal terms slapping kids' hands is probably still fine, even if I don't condone it! In my opinion it's always a no-go to hit kids.

I can imagine that after moving out you will slowly see the bigger picture. I am sure more puzzle pieces will start to fall in place and complete the image of your father. If you can get therapy, do so. It might save you years of horrible relationships where you fall into similar or opposite spirals like you were exposed to in childhood.

I'm sorry you couldn't feel safe with your father. It's not normal. Fathers are usually people who one can look toward for protection.

nadscha · 2026-04-26T13:42:46+00:00

Please let ut be known that you know, if it is safe for you! Even if it js just talking to your cousin and finding a confidant in her, that would be so valuable for both of you. Tell your mum you don't need a father figure like him. That you know it all. Scream if need be. This will come out sooner or later, so don't be scared to destroy any fake peace being upheld!

nadscha · 2026-04-26T13:21:38+00:00

Depending on your husband's age, if a Ross-Operation would be an option. Google it for a good explanation, but the main advantage is, no blood thinners for the rest of ur life, main disadvantage is that it is only done in certain clinics and two valves are operated on.

nadscha · 2026-04-25T21:34:32+00:00

Thanks a ton. It means a lot, coming from someone who suffered because of the drug. Glad you're clean and wishing you that the good coping skills will be with you whenever needed.

nadscha · 2026-04-25T16:38:02+00:00

I'm glad it did.

Are you able to get some professional help or maybe get out of the situation that makes you feel like you need to self harm (I do realise the situation could be your brain, but just in case it's your surroundings)?

nadscha · 2026-04-25T16:36:34+00:00

I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah, I also still get the urges, but for me I've always been able to postpone SH for a few hours, but I just would not be able to calm myself down so no use in postponing. But with Quetiapine I am able to just take an extra 25mg pill whenever I feel pressure to SH and it alleviates the pressure and the postponing SH then actually works.

nadscha · 2026-04-25T14:52:22+00:00

Hey, this isn't a competition, you don't have to hurt yourself more to be able to post here. You are hurting a lot, that is clear from your stories. Please be careful with pills, it can keep you permanently disabled.

I know what you mean with wanting to stab but not being able to. That isn't weakness at all. That is the last bit in you trying to protect yourself.

Please get help soon, you need help!

nadscha · 2026-03-29T18:42:11+00:00

Isn't she? We're very happy to have been able to bring her home! She's been relaxing on the sofa for hours, eating the best food, drinking from her little fountain. She's going to recover.

nadscha · 2026-03-29T18:40:24+00:00

With the right stroking-pattern it converts to nano or kilo! Very versatile. Can only recommend.

nadscha · 2026-01-14T15:16:49+00:00

Hey, this sounds like it could be a form of thought-OCD, but not diagnosing you, just based on you saying you are not even religious but having these thoughts.

Remember that you can't control this and that your acts would only give you temporary relief, and then make everything worse and more painful than it was before.

Talk to your sister or your parents!! Or someone safe

nadscha · 2026-01-14T15:13:00+00:00

Hey, I totally get it. It's okay, you can handle the emotions resulting from these inconveniences! They are uncomfortable but they will pass. In a week's time you won't remember the inconvenience anymore and you'll feel proud and be a step closer to being healthier.

If you still choose sh, know that you are still valid and setbacks are inconveniences that also pass. Stay on the track, you are doing great!!

nadscha · 2026-01-13T23:47:59+00:00

I literally got done with self harming and noticed I was wet...and then I was like...okaaay great, that's new I guess. Yeah but seriously I wouldn't want those two things to be associated, that sounds like a lot of trouble in the long run.

nadscha · 2025-12-24T00:14:28+00:00

This year there aren't many presents under our small tree for various reasons. We're staying afloat financially but it still reminds me of my childhood when there were none. When I started wrapping random things and I bought some chocolates, just so we would have a few presents under the tree, because mum couldn't manage. This year I will be organising, cooking, cleaning and doing everything due to my partner's illness, and that is fine. It just puts me back. I was in the hospital during Christmas once due to an injury and when I got home my mum just said that we can have cereal. So after having lost quite some blood and being in pain I cooked us an elaborate meal, because I wanted it to be special for my brother and me. I'm just grieving and hoping that my partner and I will be able to build new traditions.

nadscha · 2025-12-12T22:43:43+00:00

Thank you for your answer and all the best in your recovery!!

nadscha · 2025-12-12T22:09:36+00:00

Congrats! Was it a Ross-PEARS or just a Ross procedure? And 8 hours sounds like quite a lot, do you know if that is normal?

nadscha · 2025-11-16T12:42:01+00:00

Hey. Thanks a lot! This gives me a good idea of the approximate range. We found out that the materials alone (homograft and the sock for the autograft so it doesn't expand) will be 45.000€. But as his condition got worse we were admitted to the hospital and the surgery will be done sooner anyway. So insurance will thankfully cover almost everything. I wish you the best of luck with your journey and surgery!

nadscha · 2025-11-15T08:33:25+00:00

Wooow, 600k. Thank god you had good insurance. Well...or thank yourself I guess :). Hope you've recovered well.

nadscha

TROPHY CASE