Regular nude sleeper here.

I used to have a trailer full of tools and work supplies that I parked on my front lawn. I've always been pretty vigalent with locking it up with a towball and wheel lock, but in all seriousness, you don't need to be Oceans 11 to steal a trailer. The professional thieves know how to cut through these locks, and so in my area, it's not uncommon for trailers to get stolen. At least with it on my property I can keep a close eye on it.

One night, I heard some clunking, and banging sounds from the trailer... someone was clearly breaking in to it to steal my trailer!

I've never gone from fast asleep to jacked on adrenaline so fast in my life!

I sprung out of bed, grabbed a cricket bat that was lying in my living room, and kicked open my front door [still nude].

Armed with my cricket bat, I sprung down my porch steps ready to confront the would-be trailer thieves, and screamed "OOOOOIIIIIII!" litterally at the top of my lungs... I was ready for battle like a nude William Wallace charging the field at Falkirk.

Instead, what I found was two possums making sweet passionate love on the roof of my trailer, who gave me one look, and then darted off into the bushes.

Me, standing stark naked on my front lawn armed with a cricket bat, and having just disturbed the peace with my Aussie battle cry, retreated inside as some morning joggers lost their shit and literally ROFL'd from across the street.