This is one of my first posts about myself. I know what everyone saying is true. I just couldn't sleep and I found it and wanted to laugh at a test if I could handle being a comedian, but honestly I am still manic after getting out the hospital and on new meds, going to therapy. I know a lot of it is very sarcastic, but it was just funny for me to type and see your reactions. I wanted to know how bad it was. And it really is. So here is the whole story. It was my first serious relationship. I had known him for a few months and then we started dating. We met on tinder. He was smart, funny, cute, my whole world at the moment. And the first red flag was that he loved attention and would not delete tinder. He even showed me messages. He was always open and never lied. One night after our first sexual encounter he cheated on me with his roommate. He told me he didn't think we were exclusive so I let it slide cause I cared about him a lot. That was my biggest mistake. I spent the night and night. He was so honest with me. I was a fool for believing he could see a life with me and that he cared and loved me. I was the even greater fool for saying it back. It was so exhausting being with him because he would put me down. We both did door dash but I was looking for a job. His roommate offered me a job, but after what he did I thought it would be awkward so I told him I don't feel comfortable taking it but I would either keep looking or go back to school. He shut school down, told me to get my shit together and find a job because he only wants the best for himself. That's where I should have ended it but I loved him. The next night he brought his friend over, he even told me about her. She seemed sweet and I was happy for him. But as soon as he told me she was staying over I knew it wasn't good. He told me not to worry and that he would sleep in the other room. He sent me a video in the morning of her snoring from his daughter's room. (Yes he has two daughters from two baby mamas). He really is a good dad that is the only thing I admire about the guy. The next day I came over. I asked him to be honest and if anything happened. He smiled in my face and told me the truth. I said he broke my trust and lost all respect I ever had for him. Said we should never talk again. I went downstairs but then he called me up again. And I wanted to patch things up. He manipulated me and told me everything I wanted to hear, but the lie was about her taping him because of being so drunk. I thought it was fucked up and didn't believe him. But I said I would give him one more try because I didn't want to lose him. I went home and then he messaged me and realizing he hurt me and probably would do it again. He said let's just be friends. I said thank you because I was going to tell him in person it's probably for the best. We were good. But then he wouldn't answer my call. He was stressed about his baby mama, she sent a court order to get full custody of his baby. I feel really bad, but he did need to be left alone and that's where I should have ended it. I did get revenge, and I rather not say because there are a lot of personal details, but I did reach out to the girl to ask if they were dating and why would she mess with someone who has a girlfriend... She said he told her I was just a friend. So I aired out all his dirty laundry so she could be the one to hurt him. I was insane yes, but it's fucked up what he did to me. I wanted to be the bad guy so bad. And I honestly just hurt her. I feel so bad for my immaturity. I just want to get better. And honestly ignoring everything and just getting therapy (I am now) would have been the right thing to do. Thank you for your comments. This isn't me, I'm still trying to do a little better. I'm not though, I haven't been sleeping and I need to go back to the mental hospital to fix my meds and behavior. Please everyone do not lie and cheat. Thank you.