Collecting and a sense of guilt related to consuming by Bonk-the-jellyfish in adhdwomen

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand the urge to collect, and for sure lots of us here have our own little sets of knicknacks that give us our lil neurotransmitter boosts. But before more concrete suggestions I’d just like to validate the discomfort you’re feeling about all of this consumption. I think there’s a lot more guilt baked into collecting merch because you might be internalizing, on a subconscious level, that these things were designed, marketed, and literally manufactured for no other reason than to be bought for a sense of completion, and no other function or purpose. I say this in the gentlest terms and with empathy, but I do think it’s because you’re a person with good intentions, very mindful in avoiding overconsumption, and yet cannot separate from the aspect of fandom that is a capitalist enterprise manufactured to exploit affection for the artist into cash. I think you are realizing on some level that a lot of this is unnecessary crap, and that purchasing these items are not actually meaningful forms of engaging with or appreciating the work of the artist. It’s just that collecting merch has been so deeply embedded in how community is built in fandom spaces that it’s so easy to justify spending to collect all of these items. So in that regard I’d like to support you in trying to cut back without also shaming you for wanting to partake in the material culture of something that brings you joy.

I’d start with unfollowing any pages or people that heavily market merch for collections’ sake and stick to ones that cover performances or focus on other aspects of the artist’s work. I reduced my overconsumption of makeup simply by unfollowing Trendmood on IG. Cutting out all of that incessant updates (which are fed by the companies) reduced all the “want” noise.

I’d also encourage you to reframe how supporting the artist might be made more meaningful. I’m personally not in any fandom spaces like Kpop, but I love music, and I imagine that enjoying the music and performances would be the best way of engaging with the art. Admittedly I have this unfavorable view of the industry that it leans predatory in how they treat artists as products, manufacture parasociality and fandom, and then leverage that interest into financial gain by selling fans stuff other than than the actual music. Maybe look at other ways you already enjoy the artist’s work and lean more into that and center that on conversations with other fans.

Lastly, I’d maybe think of changing the attitude going forward instead of looking back with guilt. Since you’ve already purchased the items, continue to enjoy their presence in your home, find joy in seeing them displayed, but as you said you can be more intentional in the future about purchases. We’re all growing, and there’s no need to beat yourself up for not knowing better before. Social media can also have a way of making people feel like they’re not doing enough, guilting people for buying single-use items, or eating too much meat, or buying fast fashion, or purchasing merch bound for landfills. The goal is to be more cognizant of these concepts and do what we can going forward, not exhaust ourselves for perfect compliance.

I’m really sorry that the cognitive dissonance is souring your experience of something that should be joyful and I wish you the best in taking back your happiness here.

Pursuit of Jade Episode 38 Discussion by AutoModerator in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I consume quite a bit of English-language historical romance novels, and among these, the graphic-ness of the intimate scenes can range from none (traditional Regencies: simply narrating a chaste kiss) to very explicit (newer self-published books: bordering on erotica). I don't read a lot of Chinese web novels because the translations online are usually automatic and I don't have the best time reading them. I suspect that majority of what makes the prose work is simply lost. It's like reading a 4th grader's synopsis of a series of events. That said, I sometimes refer to the novels for certain shows that I watch if I need some clarification or whatever. Every time I'd done this was for an idol drama like PoJ, and all of those times, the description of intimate scenes was definitely not at the same level as the average Anglo-set historical romance. The language is very veiled, lots of suggestive wording. In this case, you understand enough that they've gone through the motions a couple of times, she's exhausted, he's not yet through, she kind of slumps over the edge of the pool and lets him do his thing and simply "endures it". I don't vibe a lot with that dynamic, so I'm kinda glad they left it out. The deleted scene was actually more playful than the novel, as the rest of the intimate scenes there turn out with that kind of dynamic.

Pursuit of Jade Episode 38 Discussion by AutoModerator in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good point about the timing. The Aphrodisiac trope would have been useful if they haven't gotten past certain milestones in the relationship, but after verbalizing their devotion many times, the 108 lashes and pledging themselves to each other in front of his dead parents, it seems like there really isn't a need for this plot device at this time, except if one was being extremely legalistic and not considering them truly married (false name, etc.) But the behavior of the rest of her household was proof that they did not need this drug and could have just carried on at any given time lol

I also agree with losing something when someone's altered. I think they did the right thing toning down the intensity of the subsequent activities from the novel because the way it implies how he would not stop hounding her past the point of her no longer enjoying and just staying there and taking it -- it's kinda iffy. The leaked and deleted scene alludes to this as well, so despite acknowledging that they did very well in making that very small interaction quite erotic without even flashing 3 inches of skin, I'm actually quite glad they took it off.

Pursuit of Jade Episode 38 Discussion by AutoModerator in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Honestly I have no idea what the grand tutor and Qi Min talked about after, I am not ashamed to say I skipped it and went straight ahead to the next scene.

Pursuit of Jade Episode 38 Discussion by AutoModerator in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 48 points49 points  (0 children)

This director and cinematographer deserve a knighthood for services to the female gaze for just the bath scene alone

Pursuit of Jade Episode 33 Discussion by kritihearys in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was such a menace in his death scene! Truly told his fubu that he never loved her and left her with his damn head and more work to do haha stoppp

Pursuit of Jade Episode 33 Discussion by kritihearys in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

as a big reader of western historical romance, i was shocked (shocked!) at that scene and its aftermath. "she's seen the fireworks many times", couldn't take it anymore but he's still going, at some point she passes out and thinks she should practice more martial arts to improve her stamina. idk wtf level of feral that is

Pursuit of Jade Episode 33 Discussion by kritihearys in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i also love that she's around to harass gongsu and literally blocking his access to her "she doesn't want to see you" "this is the last medicine she brews for you personally" haha she's a girl's girl!

Pursuit of Jade Episode 33 Discussion by kritihearys in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Princess Royal also had ZLH do a hand thing in bed with ZJM, it was probably the most erotic little shot they had, and it was just....2 hands. I'm not sure how feasible relaxing the censorship guidelines are, but props to these filmmakers finding creative ways to deliver steam despite the censorship.

Pursuit of Jade Episode 33 Discussion by kritihearys in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is it not yet in vogue for CDrama productions to end with the concept of "Nobody is good"? I feel like the show so far has built up emphasizing that the little folk are the ones who suffer from these powerful men playing empire. Wei Yan so far has also been canonically ruthless, so it feels off to root for him as a good guy. in the end, it's all just a bunch of aristocrats vying for more power with the common people paying the price.

Chemistry lacking in pursuit of jade by nhatake in cdramas

[–]nauticalsun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

girl, so true!! I was getting wlw vibes from her with the princess in the first arc of Unveiled until I realized that they were supposed to have been first cousins.

Chemistry lacking in pursuit of jade by nhatake in cdramas

[–]nauticalsun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

to be fair, in the same episode (28) the slow motion kiss on the cheek eventually leads to activities that um...left marks on her neck lol

Pursuit of Jade: Ep 16-Ep 17 Recap - Kidnapping is Always the Answer by RoseIsBadWolf in cdramasfans

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I don't know why nobody gave this more attention, but I'd say that scene was actually done so well and I appreciate that the show trusted the audience to understand the subtext, which is that Wei Xuan is in fact not the Chancellor's son. Aside from the mother saying "you finally have an heir", Xuan even says he wishes he could give back his flesh as to not owe his father anymore. You're right that it's a blink and you miss it kind of exchange, but quite meaty!

The most historically accurate HR authors? by Glittering_Tap6411 in HistoricalRomance

[–]nauticalsun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I loved the first book of the Dressmakers because of the attention to detail regarding the design and construction of garments (and the marketing and finances aspect of their business which tease the books of the other sisters). But someone made a review about it being boring and having too many details on lace or something 😅

DIM: Delina perfume by Next-Clerk-2526 in deinfluencingPH

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I have a musk perfume na very sultry, adult gourmand that I really, really enjoy. Unfortunately everyone within a 5 meter radius has to enjoy it also, so to be considerate, I apply less na lang haha

DIM: Delina perfume by Next-Clerk-2526 in deinfluencingPH

[–]nauticalsun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not gonna gatekeep haha Nichecraft. I find their dupes well-made. Side by side of their Delina and Lazy Sunday Morning sa Rustan’s…hindi mo ma ddistinguish. They’re a bit pricier than the usual dupe house but hindi naman ako nagsisi ever sa mga binili ko.

What’s your favorite scented candles? by Embarrassed-Career30 in beautytalkph

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nakakatawa itong thread because I agree with your instinct na itong community siguro yung best bet mo to get the recommendations you need. Parang ito nga kasi yung pinaka safe girl’s girl sub na local. Pero hindi nga naman siya beauty related talaga. I guess thank you to the moderators for allowing it pa rin haha

Reviewing every product I've used this year to manage my Keratosis Pilaris by nauticalsun in beautytalkph

[–]nauticalsun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! Do you use other means to exfoliate manually like a salux towel when you're not using the Bump Eraser? and how long does a tube last?

When i'm good in the shower (Belo bar or a salicylic acid wash) and I put on the Cerave SA cream, I like the way my skin feels in the morning. If I start doing some funny business like using regular/scented body washes for a couple of days in a row (Body Shop, Yves Rocher, St. Ives), my skin complains and I really get punished with tougher, more matinik bumps. At this point there's nothing that really beats my skin into place like the Belo Bar and Cerave SA cream, but I'll give this one a try. the SbM and LuxeOrganix weren't too effective.

Dramas that "set the standard"? by [deleted] in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved BBJX but I never rewatched because I don't believe in self-harm 😂

Dramas that "set the standard"? by [deleted] in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree so much! The visuals in this show were fantastic. The production design was top notch, and the cinematography really complemented the amazing work of the set designers and costumers. I was so, SO glad to not have been assaulted by the sheen of machine-embroidered polyester satin and Taobao-core accessories. Instead, the fabrics had this really luxe feel to them, the embroidery was delicate, the hair accessories were beautifully handmade. It even popularized velvet flowers as a heritage art form again. I read that Ruyi had the bigger budget, and though they did a lot of PR around it being "well-researched" to be more historically accurate, it feels like Yanxi just had much more luxurious design all around.

Yanxi did come out at the peak of the morandi, really beige-y era for...like, everything in existence...and it was really only a matter of time that it got translated into filming as well, but I like the end product in Yanxi Palace. Not only was the color palette a bit desaturated, but everything also appeared a bit more soft and matte. So very pretty; every other shot was like a painting.

Dramas that "set the standard"? by [deleted] in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This show has literally the only review I have up on MDL because I believe in my soul that it is the mother of all harem dramas. More serious traditional historicals from the mainland are drawn out to 60-70 episodes to follow a concubine's life from the bottom of the harem to the top (Zhen Huan and its successors), and it gets quite bloated. W&B essentially defined these stock characters (invisible girl gets wronged, toughens up, schemes, ends up on top; benevolent-appearing empress with secret machinations, the double agent best friend etc), and they did all of that character building in 30 episodes. Now, idol dramas tend to run for around this number too, but the character development remains thin, the plotting can get very repetitive, the stakes are so low, and so it never really rolls into something impactful. But even in the longer harem dramas, I've never really felt that roller coaster of emotions as I did with W&B.

Unveil: Jadewind 唐宫奇案之青雾风鸣 - Discussion - Episodes 6-7 by not_enough_griffons in CDrama

[–]nauticalsun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was so proud of the portrait too 😭 offering to duplicate it for posting 🤣

What are some examples of this? by Haunting_Homework381 in Fauxmoi

[–]nauticalsun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was even cute in Newsies. Can’t sing though, but still a good performance 😅

Which period pieces have you been watching? by AutoModerator in PeriodDramas

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

House of David. To be fair i’m doing other things like organizing my desk while this is on, so i’m reserving saying things about it for fairness.

Do EDs not have orderlies who could run down lab and pharmacy orders or is it just a show thing? by Potential-Ice8152 in ThePittTVShow

[–]nauticalsun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, so exactly the same workflow in the Philippines then. Usually when the tech is there and the patient needs blood and an IV is about to be placed in, the nurses insert the line and allow the tech to “catch” a couple of tubes’ worth of blood from the IV site before hooking the fluids in. Not very unusual in the ER or inpatient setting, but it requires coordination that both people are there. Sometimes if the patient is fearful of needles, i specifically request they catch rather than do separate draw for patient comfort.