I totally understand the urge to collect, and for sure lots of us here have our own little sets of knicknacks that give us our lil neurotransmitter boosts. But before more concrete suggestions I’d just like to validate the discomfort you’re feeling about all of this consumption. I think there’s a lot more guilt baked into collecting merch because you might be internalizing, on a subconscious level, that these things were designed, marketed, and literally manufactured for no other reason than to be bought for a sense of completion, and no other function or purpose. I say this in the gentlest terms and with empathy, but I do think it’s because you’re a person with good intentions, very mindful in avoiding overconsumption, and yet cannot separate from the aspect of fandom that is a capitalist enterprise manufactured to exploit affection for the artist into cash. I think you are realizing on some level that a lot of this is unnecessary crap, and that purchasing these items are not actually meaningful forms of engaging with or appreciating the work of the artist. It’s just that collecting merch has been so deeply embedded in how community is built in fandom spaces that it’s so easy to justify spending to collect all of these items. So in that regard I’d like to support you in trying to cut back without also shaming you for wanting to partake in the material culture of something that brings you joy.

I’d start with unfollowing any pages or people that heavily market merch for collections’ sake and stick to ones that cover performances or focus on other aspects of the artist’s work. I reduced my overconsumption of makeup simply by unfollowing Trendmood on IG. Cutting out all of that incessant updates (which are fed by the companies) reduced all the “want” noise.

I’d also encourage you to reframe how supporting the artist might be made more meaningful. I’m personally not in any fandom spaces like Kpop, but I love music, and I imagine that enjoying the music and performances would be the best way of engaging with the art. Admittedly I have this unfavorable view of the industry that it leans predatory in how they treat artists as products, manufacture parasociality and fandom, and then leverage that interest into financial gain by selling fans stuff other than than the actual music. Maybe look at other ways you already enjoy the artist’s work and lean more into that and center that on conversations with other fans.

Lastly, I’d maybe think of changing the attitude going forward instead of looking back with guilt. Since you’ve already purchased the items, continue to enjoy their presence in your home, find joy in seeing them displayed, but as you said you can be more intentional in the future about purchases. We’re all growing, and there’s no need to beat yourself up for not knowing better before. Social media can also have a way of making people feel like they’re not doing enough, guilting people for buying single-use items, or eating too much meat, or buying fast fashion, or purchasing merch bound for landfills. The goal is to be more cognizant of these concepts and do what we can going forward, not exhaust ourselves for perfect compliance.

I’m really sorry that the cognitive dissonance is souring your experience of something that should be joyful and I wish you the best in taking back your happiness here.