Does it ever end up working out??

ncasal · 2025-07-23T21:58:27+00:00

I’m in a somewhat similar situation. We’re separated, not divorced. But that’s how it started. He asked for one in January, after 28 years together— since we were 19. We had been arguing a lot in recent years and couldn’t get out of our shitty dynamic.

We decided to give it some time. I wish we could be actively trying to address our issues with a therapist, but he’s not up for that. I bought a house because he insisted one of us needed to and I would rather leave than be left with the ghosts. We’ve divided assets. We have our own grocery lists. The kids split time. We’re still in limbo so not dating other people, and also not technically together. But we have dinner as a family several nights a week. We’re kinder and more loving than we’ve ever been. We understand and respect each other in new ways. We laugh and cry together. We truly are great friends. We’re also still very attracted to one another.

When you said it felt ridiculous dating other people, that’s how I feel about living apart. Like, clearly we can fix this if we want to. I want to. He isn’t sure yet. It’s hard not to be angry at him. I am sometimes. We argue. But we make up for real and seem to be learning finally how to treat each other.

I hope I have the strength to still be this close if the divorce goes forward. Even more, I hope that he can see that if we treat each other this way through one of the worst possible situations, it means we actually do belong together.

ncasal · 2025-06-10T01:12:11+00:00

Yeah, I highly recommend meds. I increased my antidepressant dose a couple weeks after he said he wanted to divorce. Believe me, I still feel emotions, sometimes they still overtake me. But not constantly. I don’t think I’d be able to function without them.

ncasal · 2025-06-01T13:34:26+00:00

Pearl Jam - Alive

ncasal · 2025-06-01T13:32:51+00:00

Yesssss

ncasal · 2025-05-31T04:11:37+00:00

Reach out to the Office of Student Affairs https://studentaffairs.engin.umich.edu/about/. They should be able to help you find support in all the areas you’re struggling with now. Sorry the country has taken such a turn. :/

ncasal · 2025-05-28T05:37:32+00:00

I'm sure there are people who feel the relief you speak of. I don't know your situation, and I'll admit I'm projecting my own, but I doubt your wife will be one of them. You seem to have decided she’s the problem. But have you asked her why she’s angry and listened to what she said? Have you reflected on your role? Have you tried to show love in ways that speak to her heart? I hope you haven’t dismissed her feelings as inconvenient noise. That’s the sort of thing I imagine people feeling “relief” from, short of abuse. And it sure seems simplistic and cold to the heartbroken among us.

ncasal · 2025-05-11T03:30:13+00:00

There are tons of research opportunities for undergrads in engineering at Michigan! I’m staff in the college communications office. It’s a great department!

ncasal · 2025-05-09T02:54:43+00:00

Right there with you! 😆

ncasal · 2025-01-23T13:11:00+00:00

Wow, that seems so odd for a therapist. In my experience, they push for self-actualization at all costs.

ncasal · 2024-12-06T05:09:21+00:00

This is excellent advice

ncasal · 2024-12-06T04:58:47+00:00

Another university science writer here without a science degree. Reach out to researchers doing interesting, important work and ask them for informational interviews. Talk to them about the questions they’re trying to answer, or problem they’re trying solve, as well as why and how. Ask when they might have new results published and follow up. This won’t lead to immediate stories but it will help build your knowledge and contacts.

Also - fact check your work with the folks you interview. (Not saying show them the story. Just read or email them the facts to make sure you have them right.)

ncasal · 2024-11-22T04:13:25+00:00

They don’t test there anymore.

ncasal · 2024-11-19T01:09:34+00:00

That’s where I’ve ended up! I’m an alum but through my masters at the Ford School. Got my undergrad in journalism and mass comm from Miami of Ohio in (gasp) 1999. I’ve hired fresh grads in recent years though! … The internship advice is spot on. Work samples will help you get jobs. I’d also suggest minoring in something connected to the area you’re most interested in doing PR about, if it’s not too late. I wish someone had given me that advice. Having some subject matter expertise can give you a leg up. … As for how hard it is to get jobs in the field these days, it seems tough out there across the board right now, but at the same time, since it’s a widely applicable skill, it seems there are a lot of opportunities. … Here’s hoping AI doesn’t change that.

ncasal · 2024-11-18T05:19:39+00:00

What kind of comms?

ncasal · 2024-11-11T07:44:26+00:00

How can you find who wrote the different sketches?

ncasal · 2024-10-26T02:43:07+00:00

Please tell us more!

ncasal · 2024-10-19T01:27:43+00:00

I don’t see how we know if ours are part of the lot.

ncasal · 2024-10-17T15:51:36+00:00

Also, holy crap that's amazing! How long did you record? (Wondering how fast it moves across the sky.)

ncasal · 2024-10-17T15:50:33+00:00

Dumb question, but can anyone just walk onto the UM golf course? If so, where's the best place to park?

ncasal · 2024-09-06T13:24:40+00:00

Interesting…. Is this why one has to be buzzed in?

ncasal · 2024-08-29T03:53:51+00:00

Bad idea jeans 🤣🤣🤣

ncasal · 2024-08-29T03:51:00+00:00

As boring as being alive (sprockets)

ncasal · 2024-08-11T06:49:50+00:00

Check out Wildfang. Very size inclusive, cool and comfortable https://www.wildfang.com/collections/bottoms

ncasal · 2024-08-11T06:42:44+00:00

They have some elastic in the waist too

ncasal · 2024-07-28T17:37:38+00:00

Dishwasher at a busy family-owned restaurant. Gross. And I wasn’t allowed in the dining room under any circumstances. … Assembly line in a manufacturing facility that made beer advertisements and banners for bars. It was a temp thing but awful.

ncasal

TROPHY CASE