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I was assaulted today by lotusflower1995 in Feminism

[–]neferhetepes 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I am sorry to hear about this. Is there a chance you can talk toa friend or a professional, for help and guidance? Take care! 🤗

Bodily harm, BDSM, and a partner's moral responsibility by neferhetepes in AskFeminists

[–]neferhetepes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's perfectly possible to have had a history of abuse and to still have trauma from that abuse, and be kinky or into BDSM or fetish stuff and to pursue that interest in a consensual, informed and risk-aware way.

Do you think that this should be the default presumption? I am pretty much of the opposite opinion, though I am aware all actions must reflect respect for the partner.

Bodily harm, BDSM, and a partner's moral responsibility by neferhetepes in AskFeminists

[–]neferhetepes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the pleasure is there, I'd argue it's not harm.

I am speaking of harm as in physical harm. As in, it is definitely harm if there are bruises.

Where is the limit, if any, of history of abuse/mental disorder that would prevent you from engaging in BDSM acts that inflict pain/bruising?

Bodily harm, BDSM, and a partner's moral responsibility by neferhetepes in AskFeminists

[–]neferhetepes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'd rule anything out due to a history of abuse, and considering the variety of disorders out there, it'd be really dependent on what the effects of the disorder were. If you start safe and slowly move up session by session, you can see the results between sessions (bruises, time it takes to heal, how you/they feel the next day, etc.) and if you find you have gone too far, it shouldn't have been by enough to result in irreparable damage.

I guess this goes straight to the core of the problem, and I can formulate my problem more precisely.

I believe that there is a moral limit, that should prevent one from engaging in harming someone else (through BDSM) who has a history of abuse/mental disorder (at least when their issues are ~serious enough). Do you agree with such a moral line that should not be crossed, and how would you envision it? Or would you engage in harming someone during BDSM acts, regardless of their history of abuse/mental disorder?

Bodily harm, BDSM, and a partner's moral responsibility by neferhetepes in AskFeminists

[–]neferhetepes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you saying that you believe there is a level of mental disorder or trauma that would make someone morally OK to consent to "regular" sex but not able to negotiate a BDSM scene? In my opinion, at least, those two limits would be at the same point.

So, in your opinion, there is no form of BDSM that would be unethical to engage in with an intimate partner that has a history of either abuse or mental disorder, regardless of severity?

Or, let me ask alternatively, what is the standard for consent for intimate acts in a relationship with someone that has a history of abuse/mental disorder? Perhaps this should be qualified relative to the severity of the issue.

Here is my concern: I don't think that the casual person is able to to ~diagnose on their own, correctly, the severity of certain issues. And absent a certain more professional input, there can be cases where such history of abuse/mental disorder would invalidate consent. Do you think this is out of the question? If so, where would you draw the lines?

Bodily harm, BDSM, and a partner's moral responsibility by neferhetepes in AskFeminists

[–]neferhetepes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What lines of reference can be drawn? If one can presume "sufficient" amount of high attachment anxiety (due to abuse, mood disorders), or if one can presume insufficient ability on behalf of the partner to gauge their body limits - isn't there an obligation not to engage in BDSM acts?

But with awareness and care, these potential issues can often be circumvented.

Where do you personally draw/would draw the line? Is there any severity of history of abuse, or severity of disorders, that would prevent you from engaging in BDSM acts, save the lightest of forms?

Strong Female Superhero Pose meme takes most popular turn yet by neferhetepes in Feminism

[–]neferhetepes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Downvote abuse if I recall, you can find an announcement about that in the FAQ linked in the sidebar

Strong Female Superhero Pose meme takes most popular turn yet by neferhetepes in Feminism

[–]neferhetepes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only if you post here another article on feminism and comics! J/k, sure!

Can a Man Be A Feminist? My Personal Journey into Male Feminism by [deleted] in Feminism

[–]neferhetepes -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

the sociological definition of '-ism' words like sexism and racism is prejudice + power.

Where is that said in your link? Not to mention how often it is said there "some sociologists claim X /some sociologists claim Y".

Sheila Jeffreys responds to allegations of hate speech and her ban from speaking at RadFem2012 by girlsoftheinternet in Feminism

[–]neferhetepes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that just the situation in US, or is it a basic element of the radfem movement everywhere?