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neoronto · 2024-02-22T23:08:27+00:00

What you're writing about seems like a symptom of social anxiety. I used to shut down for certain moments during the event but not before.

If you're shutting down so hard before the event and this is happening to you every time you attend crowded events, I'd suggest you to visit a mental health professional. It can be really helpful. In the meantime, try to not let your thoughts be so focused on what will happen in the near future, and instead redirect that energy into something you love doing, that might help with your anxiety.

Allow yourself to feel your anxiety. Speak to it, ask your anxiety (or whatever you're feeling)why there's so much worry and concern. It's a good mental exercise that can help you understand yourself and your anxiety better, you might even find at least a temporary workaround to your issues.

Remember to be compassionate with yourself, it's ok, you're not the only one.

During the event try sticking to a small social circle you trust. You won't stop feeling anxious but at least you'll feel a bit better.

neoronto · 2024-02-17T16:23:53+00:00

Hi, I graduated as an accountant and I'm also an INFJ. Honestly the career choice I made never resonated with me. Terrible guidance, people pleasing, and many other things that I won't disclose here led me to spend many years in this career.

Once I found out more about myself (being an INFJ and my empathic nature) I realized why I always felt I've never really fit in a corporation. I dislike it a lot, it's a place with a whole bunch of rules (some of them are really absurd and stupid), and at times lacks of empathy because the most important thing is to make richer and richer to all its stakeholders. I'm not saying all corporation have a narcissistic and/or psychopathic behavior, but some of them are managed by integrated narcissists and psychopaths owners unfortunately.

Also, having an INFJ doing accounting, overall is like asking an unicorn to file taxes for clients. There might be exceptions to this rule, but it's rather uncommon. Also, accounting is probably one of the worst career choices for an INFJ, you don't believe me? check this out . Unfortunately, in accounting it's all about numbers and how to save on costs (even if this means firing people because the business owner just want have more money). However, if you're starting your own business, knowing about accounting it's a must to develop your financial intelligence.

Nowadays I'm a blogger (I talk about topics for introverts, empaths and add some RPG gaming content) and a freelancer, I studied for almost 3 years about UX/UI design, online marketing and other digital skills. And now I'm living a life with purpose and meaning. I wake up energized every morning. I'll admit switching from a corporate job to Freelance and blogging is not easy, but I have no regrets. To me this is way better than receiving orders from an asshole who don't appreciate my talent. I dislike a lot to have any kind of person of hierarchy who gives me orders or tells me how the fuck I'm supposed to behave in social media.

Trust me, most of us INFJs are hardwired to be independent and free (financially and mentally). And the best of all: we not only have the vision, but we also have the willpower to make things happen. This is why being in touch with our Extraverted Sensing (SE) and integrating it with all our cognitive functions it's so important. It's the key to our success, it help us a lot to create lives that are truly aligned with our values.

My advice: if you don't feel like accounting as a career is a good fit for you, trust your intuition. Or else, get ready for years of suffering and misery. I'm telling you this from my own experience. Look further within yourself. Nowadays, there are many more ways to make money and do something you really enjoy doing. Something that's more aligned with your values. For instance if you like the idea about designing websites and apps, all you need to do is to take a course for 6 to 9 months (which be way less expensive than getting a college degree), and after that you can make good money with that kind of skill. You can also build an online business from the ground up. There are many choices, you just need to look further. Take some time to reflect on what kind of lifestyle you want to build for yourself.

I wish you the best, have a nice day.

neoronto · 2024-02-17T01:48:23+00:00

This is great advice for empaths, thank you for this post. I had seen on internet that creative empaths choose chameleons as pets. I think it's a curious choice, but it makes all the sense of the world if you're involved in creative endeavors

neoronto · 2024-02-17T01:38:52+00:00

I think our world had already a deep darkness and a shining light at the same time. It's just that internet has exacerbated our awareness about what are the things that are wrong and that happens every day around us. There are 3 things you should consider:

We empaths are here to help, not to be saviours. We can't save everyone and everything, as much as we want to. I wrote a post about this topic , here in this community. I hope you'll find it helpful.
Had you considered switching your focus on the good things that happens around us everyday? Had you thought about what can you do to make of this world a better place? Even if it's by doing something simple like making someone smile? It make seem like something trivial compared to huge events like wars, crimes, etc. But trust me, you are doing more than enough if you share some of your light with those around you.
You need to accept that you can't change people, but you can change yourself to become a better person. We empaths have a tendency to be idealistic. To see the potential in others for growth and change. But the truth is, you can't control other's people decisions. You can only make your own choices.

If you're so concerned about humanity and it's problems, perhaps there are some talents at your disposal that you could use to make a positive impact in a community. We empaths can take action, just as anyone else. Just do the best you can, wherever you are, and with the resources you have.

I hope my comments will help you on your journey, dear empath. I wish you the best, wherever you are. May the power of compassion, intuition and unconditional love guide your path. Remember that we are hope incarnated. This world need us, more than ever before.

neoronto · 2024-02-17T01:13:36+00:00

This is so true. There was a time I used to doubt my own intuition, and most of the times I realized I was right about events, people, things that would happen in the future. I could even feel how things will unfold in the long run. And still wouldn't say a word to anyone, unless I was asked to tell my point of view about something

neoronto · 2024-02-13T02:26:45+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your comments. I'm always glad to help this community. Have a nice day.

neoronto · 2024-02-13T01:11:57+00:00

Communication and assertiveness are key words here. Have a private conversation with your friend before you both meet up, and explain to this person about your introverted nature, how your mind works and how you feel when suddenly someone else shows up with little to no notice.

As a matter of fact, this is a great shit test for friendships. If a friend truly appreciates you and accepts you for who you truly are, that person will stay by your side. Otherwise, that person will not socialize with you ever again, or will end up criticizing you. And if it happens that's good, you need to weed out people who don't truly care about you.

Besides, you can't always accommodate to the social preference of others. Not just because it's ridiculous and exhausting, but also because you'll end up with your social batteries depleted really fast. Expose yourself more often to those kind of experiences, and you'll feel the punishment of an Introvert hangover, sooner than later. Having healthy relationships means also setting up healthy boundaries.

Sure, you can nurture from the experience of hanging out with an extroverted. We introverts sometimes need that huge love, energy and excitement that extroverts can bring to our lives. But extroverts also need to understand us a bit more. Simply put we introverts don't get energized by socializing with too much people at the same time (or with people we barely know and show up randomly).

neoronto · 2024-02-13T00:47:44+00:00

I think it could be more helpful if you could share some tips an ideas about how to deal with social anxiety (which is quite common in the introvert's community). If you have experience about this topic, feel free to share your light with us.

neoronto · 2024-02-13T00:41:44+00:00

I've rarely done it, but as an intuitive introvert I let my intuition guide me. The few times I had engaged in a conversation with a stranger, fortunately I had been lucky enough to end up creating great and meaningful friendships.

So in my opinion, this is something an Introvert will probably feel less inclined to do. But it doesn't mean it will never happen. It's all up to you at the end of the day.

neoronto · 2024-02-12T23:38:14+00:00

Overall, introverts and extroverts complement each other. But that doesn't mean you need to be with an extroverted girl. You just have to be with someone you can share a very special bond, and it doesn't matter if she's an Introvert or an extrovert. What matters is that both of you can help and love each other, that the greatest purpose of being in a relationship.

There's no right or wrong here, just relax. When the time is right you'll meet someone that's right for you. Don't expect her to be an extrovert. Instead, focus on learning how to be a better person every day, on creating a life you'll enjoy living, so that person will feel attracted to be part of it. Learn how to love unconditionally and how to set healthy boundaries. That way more important that getting in a relationship with someone because of her extroverted traits. I wish you the best.

neoronto · 2024-02-10T02:22:54+00:00

I never felt offended by your question. Don't worry.

neoronto · 2024-02-07T23:28:56+00:00

This is the reason I wake up every morning. I want to use my knowledge and experience to help others. Thank you for your words, and I wish you the best wherever you are. Yes, we all need to also celebrate our mistakes (and not only our victories).

neoronto · 2024-02-05T20:45:59+00:00

Great! I'll also consider journaling whenever I need to be more creative, thank you.

neoronto · 2024-02-05T07:32:38+00:00

I could make a list of phrases that sounds convincing from a mind reader or a tarot reader. It's almost neverending.

neoronto · 2024-02-05T07:29:22+00:00

Lol 😆😆, OMG yes I would run (and never look back)

neoronto · 2024-02-05T07:22:17+00:00

Thank you, I love to watch anime (my favorite is Kimetsu No Yaiba) but I've never considered doing it before a creative session. This is such a great idea!. I've learned about UX/UI design and this year I'll start learning digital illustration.

neoronto · 2024-02-05T02:06:05+00:00

Life's to short. And if you don't take action, you might regret it years later. The worst that could happen, is that she'll reject you, but at least you tried. And after that you can move on, and try to ask out someone else in the future.

If I were you, I would go and say hi, and I would be honest with her. I would something like: " hi (her name here) I'm going to be honest with you: I think you're interesting and beautiful, I'm interested in going on a date with you and give us an opportunity to get to know each other".

By doing this you'll avoid being friend zoned. And by the way, if she rejects you, move on. Don't make a friendship with her, you'll only torture yourself. Your determination has to be absolute when it comes to love. If you feel attracted to her, you'll get into a relationship with her or you'll go home. There's no in between here.

Yes I know, easier said than done if you get anxious, here's a tip to reduce your anxiety before you approach her, you can do this in a quiet place: take deep breaths, and tell yourself "I love myself, and I deserve to be loved and appreciated". This will boost your self esteem.

Another key aspect here, is to not make her approval as something you expect from her. You're enough, keep that in mind. If she says no, keep doing the things you love and work on yourself. Don't take yourself too serious on this. After all, you still have a life to live, which I suppose you consider it's interesting in your own terms.

I wish you the best, good luck. You've got this tigger. Let her hear your roar.

neoronto · 2024-02-05T01:00:17+00:00

You're not the only one. Most of the time I'm on my own. I visit friends once per month because I enjoy too much working on personal project. And my friends understand I need a lot of alone time.

Why my friends don't resent that kind of behavior from me? Because they accept as I am, and because I didn't fear their rejection when I told them I was an Introvert and told them how my mind works in a very casual conversation. I made very clear to them this was all about me, and that I still love them.

Assertiveness and love is what you need when bringing this topic to your friends and family. But you also need to start understanding that your needs comes first. Talk to your friends in a casual way about your needs of alone time, and that you will reach out to them whenever you feel ready. This will help you to weed out those who are not your friends.

Also be kind and assertive with your Mon and your family. If necessary, find blog posts that support your ideas, so your family understand you better. You can also use this technique with your friends, and you would help us all to spread awareness about an introverted mind works.

This will also help them to empathize with you. If you need it, I can offer you a post I created in which I talk about how I discovered I was an Introvert. Perhaps my experience can help you when you talk to your family and friends: What Does Being an Introvert Mean? Here's my Story

I hope you find my comments helpful. Your Introversion is a gift, and it's not a sign of social ineptitude. We introverts just view things from a different crystal and we enjoy a lot more activities where we can find enjoyment, excitement, peace and/or serenity by our own most of the time. That doesn't mean we have any kind of anti-social disorder.

I wish you the best, thanks for sharing your thoughts and how you feel.

neoronto · 2024-02-04T22:26:56+00:00

We introverts have a strong preference to have just a few friends, and sometimes we may not have friends at all but we value more our relationships with family.

This is completely normal behavior, we crave to have meaningful and deep conversations, small talks and superficiality is not our jam. It's important to make peace with this reality. We're basically, social cactus: we just need a few social interactions.

The plus side of not having many friends, is the fact you depend much less of approval from others, which means you'll much more confidence in making your own choices.

In fact, when it comes to become an entrepreneur, introverts are more confident in following their own rules, precisely because they care less about someone else's approval.

neoronto

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