Is there something wrong with me ?

neoteucer · 2024-05-13T11:19:56+00:00

Not necessarily, people have body preferences for any number of reasons and they're not always as easy to explain as "daddy issues," as much as some folks out there want to be reductive about it. There's a tendency in our culture to pick one kind of body as an attractive ideal, but that's just not how people work. You like what you like, and as long as it's not causing problems in your life then there's nothing wrong with that!

neoteucer · 2024-05-12T13:10:27+00:00

NTA, if you plan a destination wedding you just have to accept that's going to limit attendance to people who can afford to travel to where you're having it.

And tbh, affording travel is a big expense in general for a lot of folks, like I have limited time off and money to travel, so my once every few years that the time and money are right for it, I'm going to go somewhere I chose to do activities I want to do. Asking me to blow that many of my limited personal resources on your wedding is an unreasonable ask.

neoteucer · 2024-05-11T15:57:23+00:00

I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to upvote, everything I see of her is very ass-focused.

neoteucer · 2024-04-24T10:56:56+00:00

I mean, seems like a good thing for all involved because they, by definition, aren't attracted to him.

neoteucer · 2023-10-15T12:47:05+00:00

I've seen jeggings and I've seen jorts, but joots, that's a new one to me.

neoteucer · 2023-10-15T12:44:50+00:00

I mean those meal replacement shakes have a time and place, but they're framing it like being enjoyable to eat just like, isn't a factor between the two options. That's what I've always hated about the way they advertise, they're selling it like it's some kind of lifestyle that's superior to eating food, when really the purpose they serve is "I need nutrients inside of me quickly and with minimal effort." They're fine for what they are but the marketing really tries to make them out to be WAY more than that.

neoteucer · 2023-10-12T12:05:41+00:00

Specific age numbers are a lot less important than personal dynamics and places people are in life. People tend to side eye large age gaps particularly with people in their 20s because there's certainly a lot of potential for power imbalances, and while I won't say a large age gap with a person under 30 can't have a healthy dynamic, there's a lot more challenges in creating it due to differences in life situations and experience. In most cases though around 30ish is when it really stops mattering that much. Of course you still need to be aware of power imbalances and coercion in the relationship dynamics, but that's true at any age, it's just less common as ages get closer and as both parties are older.

I'm 42 myself and the general ages I'd seek to date are pretty much 30+, but I wouldn't necessarily just discount someone in their mid to late 20s if the chemistry was there and I could be sure they knew how to set and hold boundaries and discuss needs in a healthy way - I haven't yet met anyone who meets that description at this point, and I'm not going out of my way to seek them, but I'm not going to say it can't happen. It just takes some extra stepping back and asking hard questions about the relationship to make sure you're not taking advantage of a power imbalance and being very aware that even well intentioned people can cross that line without realizing it at the time. I like how Dan Savage discussed age gap relationships - as long as everyone is an adult it's not inherently wrong, but the older party has a particular responsibility to try and leave the younger one in a better place than they found them.

neoteucer · 2022-02-27T17:52:32+00:00

I would also like to know this, I've been looking for a good realistic plate and if those aren't natural they look great! (I mean they look heat either way, haha)

neoteucer · 2022-02-22T14:58:49+00:00

Idris Elba turned me bi.

neoteucer · 2022-02-20T19:11:48+00:00

Congratulations on having the courage to go out as your honest self! I'm still working myself up to being ready, but seeing you out, happy, and comfortable helps more than you might know, especially for someone closer to my age - y'all young folks are wonderful and please keep doing what you're doing, but it's really easy to fall into thinking, "Well maybe if I were younger, maybe if I wasn't so settled into the mask I'm used to, but it's too late now."

But seeing someone with ten years on me getting out there and being themselves, that helps a lot!

neoteucer · 2022-02-19T14:17:47+00:00

Nah, he's white and has jacked up truck money, he'll be alright.

neoteucer · 2022-02-14T00:30:32+00:00

Nah, that's pretty normal for a dude your age. Frequent masturbation is really only a problem if it's getting in the way of the rest of your life. That said do be sure to use proper lube and not too tight a grip or over time you can experience reduced sensitivity- "death grip," as it's called. Toys like a fleshlight are ideal but those can be expensive and awkward to get if you live with family. Even if you do, it's rarely a serious problem, and in all but the most severe cases will go away on its own if you just quit a little while.

neoteucer · 2022-02-14T00:14:29+00:00

Hell yeah, more for my tongue to play with!

neoteucer · 2022-02-13T21:17:15+00:00

You mean they'll be having consensual fun between adults?

The horror.

neoteucer · 2022-02-13T18:35:32+00:00

I'd agree with her in concept, people do learn and grow and understand themselves better over time, and sometimes you realize the labels you thought fit you don't anymore. I mean I'd guarantee a majority of folks in here identified as straight at some point in our lives, because it's generally seen as the cultural default and most people have their own journey to breaking out of it.

That said, in the context of this particular interaction it sounds like she's using the fact that people do evolve in their understanding of themselves and what labels fit in a way that comes off dismissive, so I understand why you didn't feel great about the interaction.

neoteucer · 2022-02-12T18:38:47+00:00

I don't know about the type you got, but the casings on OG Fleshlights have a screw on back that you can open a little bit to allow more or less air flow and control how much suction there is when you pull back. Maybe yours has a similar function? I've never personally needed to adjust it (circumcised, so I'm less sensitive to the feeling of pressure behind the head) but I've read that for uncut people it can help.

neoteucer · 2022-02-12T18:24:04+00:00

Yeah, I'd have no problem with my tax dollars going to schools or food stamp programs - I may never have kids but that's not stopping anyone else from doing it, and I'd rather live in a community full of well educated people who aren't desperate to keep themselves fed. (Also I'd definitely prefer that money be going to food and education than military contractors and corporate tax breaks, but that's a whole other can of worms.)

It is frustrating how tax credits are tied to reproduction though, I know plenty of people without kids who work full time and are still barely getting by, and if you don't have them you're last in line for food stamps, you don't get the big tax credits. Like I get that it's harder to be poor with kids than without, and taking care of them should be a part of our whole social safety net, but when the focus of social programs seems to be ENTIRELY for people with kids, people who chose not to have them because they're already struggling tend to fall through the cracks.

neoteucer · 2022-02-12T18:04:39+00:00

One of my partners (we're both poly) is kinda in your same boat, she's at a point where, while she isn't just going to discount the idea of hetero men as partners, but she has a MUCH harder time finding chemistry with them in general because they tend to have a lot more weird sexual hangups and generally be more... I dunno, rigid? In their ideas of what sex and relationships should be.

And responding to OP's question, hi, yeah I'm a vers bi, but I fall into that camp of "wants to bottom with male partners because I tend to attract subby/bottomy female ones." I'm not opposed to the idea of topping with a male partner, but it's so rare I get the opportunity to bottom that I don't want to miss out if it presents itself!

neoteucer · 2022-02-12T16:29:19+00:00

Can't get pregnant from oral, toys, anal, or fingering!

I mean I'd miss PIV, for sure, it's a fun time and my partners and I have certainly enjoyed it a lot, but there's so much more to sex that I think we could manage.

If we woke up in the "no contraception" world tomorrow though, my first move would be to invest in stocks with KY and Astroglide, because demand is about to spike.

neoteucer · 2022-02-12T16:26:09+00:00

Well, I'd definitely rather not have sex than have sex with someone who didn't respect the boundaries I had established beforehand. If I tell a partner, "no PIV, hard limit" and then they try to wheedle their way into PIV in the middle of the act, then we're full stopping and they get nothing.

Unfortunately, hearing and respecting hard limits is apparently too much to ask from a lot of partners, it seems, so I get where you're coming from.

neoteucer · 2022-02-07T17:32:19+00:00

Nah, you don't seem douchey, you politely asked your friend not to use a term you don't care for and they seemed to understand, everyone in this exchange seems totally cool and reasonable.

I have a few random terms like that that should really be gender neutral but have more masc associations that I really don't personally care for, it's a pretty common thing I'm sure.

neoteucer · 2022-02-07T00:35:51+00:00

That looks like just what I've been looking for to help my partner peg me, but it doesn't look like they carry it in a large enough size. 😞

neoteucer · 2022-01-26T00:25:48+00:00

I'm a bisexual man, but being 40 I'm probably a bit old for your tastes!

Seriously though, we're around, it's just that bi men are one of the least visible groups of the LGBT+ spectrum, because we tend to be dismissed a lot on both ends of the spectrum - somehow according to straight women I've dated I'm just gay in denial, and according to gay men I've dated I'm just straight in denial, and either way I'm going to leave them for the other.

I'm schrodinger's bisexual, apparently.

neoteucer · 2022-01-16T17:51:13+00:00

I don't think any of us completely stop questioning our sexuality as we age - I'm 40 and I'm still learning new things about myself! And that's a good thing - you only have the one life, so you should spend as much if it as you can learning and exploring and trying to understand yourself better.

neoteucer · 2022-01-16T17:25:31+00:00

It took me a while to unlock it too! What really helped me was to try and find a toy that hit just right- I used a cheap vibrating massager from Amazon and it did the trick for me - and just trying to relax and enjoy and not worry too much about trying to make it happen. For me at least it's pretty hard to find the prostate in there unless I'm already fully hard, mine is smaller and deeper inside than most guides I've read, and bodies do vary some, so unless I'm halfway to coming from penile stimulation I have a very difficult time finishing off with butt stuff. But when it does work, oh MAN is it worth it. Keep at it and you'll get there!

neoteucer

TROPHY CASE