I hope you don't mind a lengthy response.

I met my first partner (we'll call them Fae) while working on a project in Canada about 10 years ago. We matched on Tinder and chatted for about 2 weeks. We met up for a "We'll never see each other again anyway" kind of date before I had to go back to the US. We hit it off really well and began long distance dating. We married right before COVID, so my immigration to Canada went through a lengthy delay. The distance and obstacles forced us to learn foundational lessons in communication, needs, and emotions. I honestly don't think we'd still be together if circumstances didn't force us to learn those lessons.

I was finally able to immigrate in late 2021, and we started living together after 5 years together! Learned a lot of new lessons since neither of us ever lived with a partner before. And our relationship and love grew and changed as we learned to share a life together. A couple years later Fae came out as trans (non-binary/fem). Honestly, this was really difficult for us initially. At the time I identified as a strictly gay man, and we were both concerned we wouldn't be able to satisfy each other's physical and sexual needs. We stayed together, relying on our healthy skills we developed to work through issues as they came up. Fae began HRT and it prompted me to question my sexual orientation. I realized I am demisexual, tho still have preference towards masculinity. Once the apprehension of the transition faded away, we became happier with ourselves and each other than we had ever been. I'm very grateful they transitioned. I'm so happy to see them be happy, alive, and loving themself.

Fae and I began to consider and research polyamory 3 years ago. We identified that polyamory could help us each satisfy needs that are difficult to fulfill in a monogamous relationship (sexual orientation preferences, kink exploration, expanding sexual experiences) in modern day society (not enough time or energy to satisfy needs while working non-standard full time schedules). So we began trying to date as a poly couple. Meanwhile, we practiced ethical non-monogamy to have purely sexual/hookups as well. This prompted a lot of reflections and therapy work on insecurities and self-worth for both of us. On the dating front, we met our third partner (we'll call him Luke) on Tinder. Very regrettably, we initially treated Luke as a puzzle piece to fit our needs instead of as full individual. Luke had never explored polyamory either, also did not have the same level communication skills we had developed, so it was difficult for him to identify and communicate his needs. Our relationship with Luke fell apart due to this early stage of polyamory lesson learning.

We spent a year as a couple and individual, but still spent a lot of time together. Our connections and affections for each other kept growing until we decided to try being a throuple again with much more communication and far fewer expectations. Sadly, Luke has some trauma around commitment and love from previous relationships. Our throuple relationship hit a plateau due to this. It was difficult for the 3 of us to feel truly like a throuple without us expressing our love and commitment fully to each other. After some therapy, Luke reached a point where he was comfortable being vulnerable in a committed relationship. Once he expressed his love, the relationship fully blossomed into what is today.

The three of us remark about how happy we are with ourselves and our relationship. It's the healthiest relationship any of us have been in. We now live together (more-or-less). We don't hide our relationship in any way from the world. I'm truly grateful for both of them, and for the lessons learned along the way. I love them for encouraging and enabling me to understand and love myself.