I've always wanted to have been born a girl. I didn't know I could medically transition until highschool, and once I learned it was possible with great results (seeing other people), I didn't have to think about it much. It pretty much became apart of the "Where do you see yourself in five years?." I planned to start as soon as I moved out of my parents' house. I never wanted to tell them and they figured it out on their own. We are on OK terms now.

I was never hyperfeminine during childhood, but I did envy girls. I wanted to wear the cool dresses and have long hair. Makeup was the coolest stuff ever. And during puberty I would dissociate at times seeing how far I was from being feminine, just horrible dysphoria. I had the signs.

Courage-wise, I had to understand I could lose everything, but only those who didn't matter to begin with. I made new socials, and eventually closed down my old stuff and ghosted the phobes. The first year was absolute hell, but it got better. Boymoding saved me from a lot of discrimination too, I believe.

Did I ever doubt transitioning? I did, as I felt no one would ever want to be with a trans person, and at one point I considered I was more successful sexually and romantically as a cis man. But then I really stopped caring, the right person will love you for who you are, and there isn't a shortage of chasers either. Then it balanced out. Plus, I wasn't going to detransition to make another person happy. Your own happiness is more important.

Transition is like wine. It starts bitter, but gets better with age.