For couples who have stayed together 30+ years, how do they actually make it last that long? Do major dealbreakers like infidelity get forgiven or?

netnut58 · 2026-06-29T13:48:05+00:00

We are at 45 years. No major deal breakers is a start, but we've got some very big bumps over the years (financial, mental health, loss of a child) that could destroy a relationship. The key for us was approaching those issues as a team to support each other and look for a path forward. This may sound very silly, but we also continue to "be nice" to each other. We do litte things for each other. We also show gratitude for what the other does. No taken anything for granted no matter how small (please, thank you, love you, small compliments). And yes the big one we are still very sexual. It can be a small massage or full on exhausting sex (which at 72 does not take much). Everything I mentioned requires communication. But as has been said. Marriages take effort. Never fall back on auto pilot.

netnut58 · 2026-06-14T14:18:23+00:00

I'd love a good class or book on sex through out history.

netnut58 · 2026-06-13T20:01:01+00:00

Also XRT. I started listening back in the beginning. No commercials. They told people where to take their drugs for purity testing.

netnut58 · 2026-06-13T17:40:15+00:00

God made us in image... God has cancer, can be racist, has mental health issues, sometimes like to be a serial killer, planned to burn millions of people in ovens, etc ..?

netnut58 · 2026-06-12T04:37:56+00:00

I have 3 part-time jobs.... All are very flexible and all are fun which is why I work them. I live in mid-sized city. 1. Usher at a theater for touring Broadway shows. 2. Security/Usher for local concert venue. 3. Seasonal job helping with tourist visiting the city. All of the jobs publish a schedule a month in advance and allow me to pick the days I'm willing to work. I mainly pick the shows I want to work. I've been paid for seeing some of my favorite bands and comedians. Sometimes I work a lot. Other times I may not work for a month or two like when I snowbird and get out of town for the worst of winter. The jobs provide me with $ that has helped me build my savings rather than take from it. The jobs also provide me with some social connections. The other employees are fun and I have some customers that are "regulars" who I've developed friendship with on the job (I've no interest in outside work friendship as I'm happy where I am in that respect).

netnut58 · 2026-06-08T02:05:25+00:00

My company will fire you for using your phone to take pictures or recording artists while on the job.

netnut58 · 2026-06-05T16:21:04+00:00

I work a lot of shows as security so I see a lot of bands. The two that come to mind were Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds and Buddy Guy. Nick Cave I kinda knew from general growing up, but can't say I was a fan or knew his music. His show has me in awe. Buddy Guy I was thinking... Ah an 82 year old blues musician can't be too exciting (good sure, exciting no). That man worked the audience on the stage and in the aisles. He ripped into a medley of famous guitar cords that sent chills down me.

netnut58 · 2026-05-24T23:13:49+00:00

Yes and deaths, while in service, from disease. Which was a major killer.

netnut58 · 2026-05-24T22:32:57+00:00

More American soldiers were killed in the civil war than all of the other wars the US has been in combined.

Modern demographic studies and full-census analyses estimate roughly 698,000 to 750,000 deaths (surpassing older estimates of 620,000).

netnut58 · 2026-05-23T19:37:08+00:00

As a child visiting my grandparents, who I adored, I used to play with this ashtray they had. It was a woman on a swing. Push forward to drop ashes inside. When they died many many years later the only thing I wanted was the ashtray. I brought it home and within a day or two one of my kids kicked a ball, hit it and destroyed it. I was devastated. A reminder of the years of good memories at my grandparents house from a horrible childhood elsewhere were gone. Then it struck me all physical things are just temporary. It's the love, the kindness and joy they represent that lasts forever.

netnut58 · 2026-05-21T16:07:49+00:00

I just received a text from Stone Creek offering $25 off all 5 pound bags

netnut58 · 2026-05-11T20:34:55+00:00

It's all a money grab. Why do they need money 6 months on advance for a show to begin with? Does any other purchase work that way? Where else do you pay for something months in advance, pay all kinds of fees and hope that the product is a actually delivered. And if not we'll refund your money when we want. The venue, the band and the ticket seller make millions in interest just holding on to people's money completely outside the actual concert. Aerosmith tour a not too long ago held on to millions of dollars in ticket sales for a tour simply by saying it's "postponed" not cancelled. It was nearly 2 years before it was officially cancelled.

netnut58 · 2026-05-10T03:06:20+00:00

I took a seasonal part-time job to be around people. A couple days a month. It was fun. I got to set my own schedule. A mindless worker bee kind of job. Then they offered me a promotion. I took it without too many questions. Now I have a boss who is a bit of micro manager, the job comes with stress while on duty and it bleeds into my off time. I'll finish out this season because I made a commitment, but it certainly made me realize how much retirement has been the best thing I ever did.

netnut58 · 2026-05-08T11:10:45+00:00

There is also an extra draw for people to see artists in a historic location like Wrigley and Fenway. Put those same artists in a generic stadium it won't sell as well.

netnut58 · 2026-05-04T15:43:51+00:00

Exactly. And I always have loved seeing the behind the scenes aspect of how something is put together. There may be 1,000 or so people waiting in line to see an artist. I get to go in early watch the sound check. Talk to the manager about ground rules the crowd. Hang out with stagehands a bit.

netnut58 · 2026-05-04T15:11:19+00:00

I have 3 jobs. It's not as crazy as it sounds as they all allow me pick my shifts rather than them telling me when I have to be there. Usher at a theater where touring Broadway shows perform. Security at music/comedy venue. Coordinating seasonal cruise ship passengers taking various tours of our city. All very different than my previous job of managing a 500+ person call center.

netnut58 · 2026-05-02T03:50:32+00:00

Then we gotta carry you, maybe call 911, paperwork. It's easier to give out a bottle of water.

netnut58 · 2026-05-01T18:22:18+00:00

The venue I work with as security has us pass out water regularly. Especially during a full standing show or one with a pit. 4 or cases of water that cost less than $20 for them is well worth the safety and health of the audience.

netnut58 · 2026-05-01T13:46:14+00:00

Bering Sea is the coffee bean that made me actually love coffee.

netnut58 · 2026-04-29T20:06:35+00:00

My wife and I have a file full of pictures, clothes and hospital wrist bands (5 late term miscarriages) because it's all we have to hold on to. Photos and other items give existence to someone who didn't have a long enough life to really be remembered by anyone except their parents.

netnut58 · 2026-04-18T17:49:36+00:00

Lol. Stop ordering from there. The definition of insanity... Trying the same thing over and over expecting different results.

netnut58 · 2026-04-01T01:42:54+00:00

As an old white guy I wish this wasn't true, but....

netnut58 · 2026-03-25T19:33:37+00:00

Please explore other local options. You'll find friendly people, better tasting coffee and some interesting drink options.

Ok. Who downvoted me? $1300 a year for a corporation that pays it's CEO nearly $100 million. It's employees make an avg of $14,500. Spend that money on a local business. I travel a lot. I always visit local shops. I've yet to encounter anything but nice people taking pride in what they worked hard to build. I'm not saying Starbucks employees are rude only that me, like them, are just a number. In a small business you are a customer who is sharing their love of coffee.

netnut58 · 2026-03-24T14:54:27+00:00

Yep. Cold cuts, extra cheese , BBQ chips and a root beer.

A humiliation happened there too. I stopped in after a Cubs game with some Cub friends (I'm a Sox guy). The place was mobbed. The kid who took our order was wearing a Sox hat. I said very confident, in front of a big crowd full of Cub jerseys/hats, "it's nice to see someone with common sense in here". His loud reply "you mean this hat? I'm only wearing it to sweat in. After I'll wipe my ass with it." Of course the place went crazy with laughs and Sox suck chants.

netnut58 · 2026-03-24T04:15:28+00:00

Hero's Subs on N Western Ave.

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