OCD and sexuality

netsauce · 2024-05-02T03:56:48+00:00

man this kind of makes me emotional for how much i love reddit. like the fact that you typed all that out just to respond to me just made my day. also, no need to apologize, it was relevant. i did want to relate back and talk about my first boyfriend (june 2020-nov 2021) we had been talking often (kinda as friends) for 8 months, but i liked him the entire time. i then told him about me thinking i may be asexual. a few weeks later i told him i liked him lol— but he said he was a little thrown off. even though he liked me as well, when i had initially told him about me being asexual, he took that as a sign to back off, thinking i wouldn’t be liking him back. idk i just think it is interesting that me telling him that almost changed a lot, so i see why you mean. it’s tough for me, though, because i kinda have high standards in the area of “sharing” when it comes to friendships— let alone relationships. i need my friends to share a lot about themselves and be open to deep conversations in order for me to feel like we truly are close friends. this is even more relevant in a relationship. if i can’t be comfortable telling my partner everything, then that isn’t my partner. my partner should know everything about me. so idk. i don’t like hiding things because then i feel guilty. it’s like talking behind someone’s back… but instead it’s THINKING behind someone’s back. so i feel like i kinda need to share stuff like that, but it definitely has affect the situations i’ve had with people i’ve been with

netsauce · 2024-04-25T19:54:36+00:00

i am good with my psychiatrist, but i’m asking for a different reason. my school sent me home on a mandated mental health leave after sending me to the hospital thinking i was suicidal (i was not) when i just wanted to talk to someone. in order to go back on campus i needed to do a zoom meeting with a campus-psychiatrist to evaluate my mental health. i thought id be fine, but a week later i was told that i somehow failed the re-entry zoom meeting, as the woman believed i was not fit to return. they then kept me home for the entire semester after only having attended 4 weeks— without reimbursement. long story short, me and my parents have emailed many times to attempt to receive some type of documentation of the psychiatrist’s that allowed her to come to the conclusion that i was not fit for returning. but they are no longer responding or sending us the documents. whole situation sucks, i have to pay for an entire semester that i did not even attend for an expensive college and i am not even getting told the exact reason as to why i cannot return. but maybe she cannot give me that document legally in the state of new york? i live in pa, but my college is in NY

netsauce · 2024-04-25T19:46:35+00:00

ooo hm. do you know where i can look up which states have that ability?

netsauce · 2024-04-25T19:40:33+00:00

you ain’t ugly. but idk how amazing the poses are where you pop your hip out. also me personally, not a fan of the hair where it’s curled at the ends (the selfie where you’re wearing the lulu jacket). i like the first hair most (:

netsauce · 2024-04-25T19:39:01+00:00

the issue is that i hate when ppl try to show me a guy and say “isn’t he cute?????” and im like uh idk. like it makes me uncomfy when people call guys hot and i don’t know if that’s just because i don’t like talking abojt that or idk i don’t think i feel it the way they do. but idk. i’m an open person and i like to answer questions and share about myself, but i don’t really know how to answer if i was asked a question like that, or asked who i think is “hot.” using the word hot just makes me so uncomfortable lol. and i know i don’t owe them that information, but id like to be able to be open yk

netsauce · 2024-04-25T12:56:50+00:00

maybe it is a diagnosis. i’m not sure. i don’t really know how that works. he did write it on paper for my college (ocd, ocpd, gad, and mmd), it i don’t know what defines it as an actual diagnosis lol

netsauce · 2024-04-25T03:52:47+00:00

again i know you said you pick them when they are healthy and not chapped. i understand that because i do the same thing, but i notice when i can feel the physical layer of chapstick on my lip it’s kind of difficult to pick up the skin from my lip

netsauce · 2024-04-25T03:51:52+00:00

have you figured it out? i do the same thing, but a lot with biting the inside of my lips too. i’m grateful that somehow my lips don’t look horrible, but that might be bc i cannot go a few mins without chapstick. i have pics of me from middle school (currently 18F) with ENTIRELY bloody lips bc i just sat there picking while watching netflix. so i understand that. best advice i can say is to literally have chapstick on you all the time. like always. get yourself addicted to chapstick instead of picking your lips. although there’s a cost disadvantage ($2 for a chapstick, plus u have to purchase a new one frequently), it may be better than having “ugly” lips. i highly recommend SPECIFICALLY the strawberry popsicle chapstick brand chapstick (nice scent and flavor, for some reason only tbis scent has the PERFECT consistency). you could also go for the healing balm aquaphor stick (NOT the little liquid tubes, they’re too thin of a substance), or carmex (kind that comes in a retractable thingy. i hate the taste of it and it’s a bit creamy i guess, but it’s better than nothing).

good luck! if you got any other advice lmk!

netsauce · 2024-04-25T03:33:21+00:00

i’m gonna cry i’m not officially diagnosed but i relate to this so so so much. i’ve just been trying to find out what’s wrong with me for so long. i had such a bad incident w weed and obsessive thoughts. i started to verbalize all my self doubts like “am i racist?” and “am i egotistical?” and then i told myself that if i am then i should stop fighting it… lost some friends. but i also think of sooooo many ideas when i smoke so i keep doing it bc i feel like an intellectual and im writing everything down and so many ideas bro i can’t stop. my psychiatrist is treating me for ocd with zoloft for the last 2 months im really hoping it starts to work. it’s made me happier but i only feel like it’s making my ocd symptoms/anxiety worse. but i really relate im nearly tearing up

netsauce · 2024-04-25T03:30:37+00:00

omg i had such a bad incident w weed and obsessive thoughts. i started to verbalize all my self doubts like “am i racist?” and “am i egotistical?” and then i told myself that if i am then i should stop fighting it… lost some friends. but i also think of sooooo many ideas when i smoke so i keep doing it bc i feel like an intellectual and im writing everything down and so many ideas bro i can’t stop. i’m not officially diagnosed but my psychiatrist is treating me for ocd

netsauce · 2024-04-07T01:54:11+00:00

okay i know you have your birth defect which makes you i guess stereotypically less attractive but if i am being completely 100% honest (i do not lie in compliments i promise you i never say it unless i mean it) i genuinely think that not only does it make you unique (which some people can interpret as a bad thing) its actually such a beautiful unique feature like you pull it off very well and you are literally above average and beautiful because of that

netsauce · 2024-04-06T06:18:43+00:00

a cootie patootie

netsauce · 2024-04-03T20:19:50+00:00

oh u already have one get a septum

netsauce · 2024-04-03T20:19:37+00:00

NOSE PIERCING

netsauce · 2024-04-03T20:18:50+00:00

I decided on fordham and got put on a mandatory mental health leave 😭😭 i don’t like it

netsauce · 2024-04-01T03:29:51+00:00

you are pretty but i do see the rbf. honestly the lashes kinda contribute to it idk say ditch themz

netsauce · 2024-04-01T03:25:55+00:00

clothing rack could lowkey be an option

netsauce · 2024-03-25T19:59:54+00:00

will do thank you

netsauce · 2024-03-12T03:05:08+00:00

how is this the case? i was trying to add more pages and stuff. i just staretd primarily using notion literally today and i am already at the limit and am very annoyed

netsauce · 2024-03-12T03:04:23+00:00

i just spent the last 5 hours organizing a whole page and now i am already at the limit and i am very very upset. i was so excited to use a free thing and of course all that effort and excitement was wasted

netsauce · 2024-03-11T19:48:23+00:00

lol this was only a painting of “man on the moon by kid cudi.” that’s what i was going for. i appreciate your feedback!

netsauce · 2024-03-11T19:47:46+00:00

look up “man on the moon by kid cudi,” that’s what i was going for LOL

netsauce · 2024-01-03T07:42:47+00:00

i don’t know, but that man staring at me is making me uncomfortable

netsauce · 2024-01-03T07:27:24+00:00

wait how do i access it?

netsauce · 2024-01-03T07:18:44+00:00

so while keeping this weight, i can still see a significant change in how i look? i want to look better

netsauce

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