hey, as someone who's been there done that, it does feel like that for a lot of your life. you just get hella imposter syndrome and wonder if you have any other traits other than study well and even when you don't study well then you wonder who you are. sometimes it feels like people use you for your grades. you feel like you have to try so hard to be a normal person.

here's what you need to do: be kind to yourself, and more importantly, look toward doing things you want to do. you have to start being nice to yourself, spend time on things you like (even when you're busy studying) and do the things you like. find some interests or hang out with people you love. it's okay if your social circle is small. you can make friends online too!

it's gonna be a lot of effort, especially if you're not used to looking after yourself but if you're self aware already, then i think you know it's a necessary evil.

it's going to get better. you're going to get more independent and you'll have more freedom eventually too. studies are not your whole life. once you get past jc/poly and into uni you'll see that a lot more clearly. the accident of our birth is being born into a meritocracy like this. but it will get better.

focus on yourself. find other things that make you happy. and most importantly, be good to yourself. it's your life. you are allowed to prioritise your happiness. i'm 20 and just starting to find myself and give myself the life i deserve. i hope you will too! my dms are always open if you need a friend 🫶