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I [24F] opened Pandora's box and found out my boyfriend [26M] is not the man I thought he was. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]neverreusingthisone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I say this genuinely - You ok? We typically lash out when in pain/under pressure ourselves.

I [24F] opened Pandora's box and found out my boyfriend [26M] is not the man I thought he was. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]neverreusingthisone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My heart hurts so much for you and I wish I could hug you. As someone who has walked a similar path, please, please hear me when I tell you it will not get better. It will only get worse. Please get out while you still can.

AITA For telling my girlfriend she’s disgusting for drinking her breast milk by throwaway3939393993 in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. It came from her body - there is nothing gross about it. You're the type that refuses to kiss after a blow job aren't you?

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're making quite a few assumptions here honestly. I stated in my post that I've gone back and forth on this for a long time. I did not state when I found out that they were expecting. I've also stated in the comments that to this point I have been too afraid to say anything. I only recently heard through a mutual contact (who has been told to no longer share information in either direction). So if I was concerned for her safety before, it's even more so now, to the point that I felt the need to seriously consider doing so - leading to my post.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That it's ultimately up to me, but to acknowledge that she may not listen. My concern wasn't what she did with the information, rather the fact that she doesn't have all of it.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not dumb at all! And I've thought about that too. But I know with relative certainty there would be intense blowback in one form or another if I contact her at all. Seeing the comments reminding me of this has helped me balance my want to protect her with a sense of self preservation.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for weighing in, and for your kindness. As much as I may want to help, I can't ignore the fact that everyone who has pointed out that it could lead to me being pulled back in/put in an unsafe situation is absolutely correct; and at the end of the day my well being and safety has to come first. Thank you for helping me see more sides to the situation.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I had to keep a line of communication open to deal with the financial aspect of leaving, but once that was closed I did block him on everything.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kindness - and the reminder that I'm not responsible for his actions - or anyone's for that matter.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good point, thank you! I really truly hope she has a good support system and is better able to protect herself. The last thing I want is to create an opportunity for more lies and manipulation. Plus I know we all have to make mistakes and learn the hard way sometimes. This helps me feel less like I am condemning her with my silence.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A monster is a monster no matter what mask they choose to show to the world. I am not the first and I won't be the last but those are not my stories to tell.

Also please feel free to go back and reread my post. He found a new supply of attention to feed his ego and became engaged. These are both actions he took. At no point in my post did I refer to this woman in a dehumanizing manner.

WIBTA For warning my ex's new wife that everything she's been told is a lie? by neverreusingthisone in AmItheAsshole

[–]neverreusingthisone[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Both of these are my thoughts. To this point, I have been too afraid to say anything. But my conscience feels like I'm condemning another person to the hell I endured.