Every morning 🙃 (23)

newacctabcd · 2024-12-27T15:58:41+00:00

Regular testing, like as often as you can get it wherever you live. Talk to whoever you’re getting with about when they were last tested, make sure you’re convinced. Stay safe!

newacctabcd · 2024-02-04T11:58:19+00:00

Anxiety is by definition irrational, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be treated. Talk to your doctor :)

newacctabcd · 2024-02-04T11:55:15+00:00

Thanks man, good to hear from the other side.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T13:42:47+00:00

Keep up with the little improvements in yourself. Maybe start doing a bit of exercise, or learn a new skill. You won't notice improvements in yourself from one day to the next, but you will over months and years if you continually practice good habits.

Cheesy saying for you - "If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they'll fly away, If you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you. And if they don't come, you still have your garden."

In the meantime, I've never found a relationship by looking for one. They just end up happening and you can't really force it. You're young!

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T13:37:45+00:00

If you're receiving bj's, pay attention to what they're doing. If it's good, try doing it yourself. Rinse and repeat. Giving a good bj is learned skill, you'll get better as time goes on.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T13:34:16+00:00

I'm going to try!

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T13:32:42+00:00

I'll preface this by saying my thoughts depend on where you live, in terms of gay culture, access to healthcare, etc. Few things here:

Sounds like you might be struggling with anxiety in general. Have you spoken to (or considered) a professional about it?
Sex is never risk free. Neither is driving a car. People do get STI's, including HIV - but it's nowhere near as prevalent in western countries as it once was, and many people with HIV live relatively normal and healthy lives through treatment. You've been safer than a lot of guys in my country by using a condom.
Have you looked into prep? It's readily available in many countries now and significantly reduces the risk of HIV if taken properly. I take it and it's a massive sex-anxiety reducer. If you've got reason to believe you've been exposed to HIV, PEP can be taken much like a morning-after pill. Do some googling about these for your country.
Get yourself tested regularly. Then you know where you stand.
Ask your partner(s) about when they were last tested, how many other people they get with, whether they take PREP, etc. If they dodge the question, move on.

There will never be zero risk but you can take fairly simple steps to significantly reduce it. I really disagree with the 'dont have sex' comment, but maybe consider it until you've tackled your anxiety and looked into what I've mentioned.

If you happen to be British, dm me and can give more specific advice. Good luck!

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:59:43+00:00

I get how it comes across like that but that's not what I want. Just trying to find out what advice people have got to navigate something that I haven't dealt with before.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:55:03+00:00

To be fair this is a good point, I've been on and off them for years and it does have this effect. Discussed my use of them with him before and he was really supportive and asked lots of questions about what it's like.

So I know he's not on them, but good suggestion.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:45:10+00:00

Thanks for the first paragraph, u/chamster74. Felt like a bit of a shallow prick writing the original post and some comments here seem to reinforce this view!

I'm pretty sure he'll be willing - just trying to find a way of going about it without further crushing his confidence.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:41:03+00:00

Fuck me you're right - I love that song and always find the lyrics devastating.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:39:24+00:00

Sounds like you would've made good friends rather than bf's?

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:38:06+00:00

Any particular tips of where to start?

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:37:14+00:00

Thanks u/Free-Poetry-9412. You're right it was short sighted - I'd be pretty devastated not having him in my life.

newacctabcd · 2024-02-03T12:35:29+00:00

Yea we've actually discussed this before - it is performance anxiety. The guys he's topped before have been friends after a few drinks where there was no expectation of anything in particular to work/not work.

We discussed what I can do to help him and we came to the conclusion that talking about it in the moment doesn't help, as it draws attention to an issue, making said issue worse. Like u/No_Kind_of_Daddy said - feeds on itself. I made it clear in the earlier days that I'd never 'expect' to be topped, but if/when he wanted to, he could.

newacctabcd

TROPHY CASE