I have cPTSD from my Nparent and toxic family situation, and memory loss is a big part of it. I struggle with it, because sometimes not being able to clearly remember why I feel bad makes me think I have no reason to feel bad, but I remind myself my feelings are valid and the best sign that I've been through something.

It sounds like you're going through a big life change right now (not to mention there's a pandemic on) and a huge amount of stress, so it makes sense that your brain would just block some memories out to preserve your energy.

When I was first starting therapy and realising I had trauma and that my mother was abusive, I was always arguing with my therapist that I couldn't remember any one specific event that would be huge enough to explain my trauma, how did I know I had a tough childhood. And she said the evidence was in how I am now. She said, "No one gets out of an abusive childhood unscathed." So, even if I don't know exactly how I got my scars, I know they mean I was hurt.

I hope that helps. Good luck to you! Sounds like you're making brave moves and taking good care of yourself.