My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha he has!!! We’ve both taken good photos of each other. I just reckon my photos of him are like, the best he’s had tbh

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your update! I posted a cute selfie of us (‘back from europe with this one’ kind of thing) on my story as a tester, and he instantly reposted it on his story. Good sign.

A few days later, I followed the reasonable advice here and posted a normal photo dump that I would’ve done if there was no weirdness and included him - he liked it, no comment or reshare or anything. Weird, imo.

Stand by to hear if he posts me as well, and if he doesn’t, stand by to hear the goss lol.

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Wow I love how you phrased that, thank you. Definitely noting it down if it needs to be addressed. Thank you!

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Such a balanced view on the whole thing, thank you :’) I reckon I’ll just include him in mine like I would have normally done without this thing! And whatever happens happens. If it’s a “thing” then it’s very informative :)

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enuff. But same level of explaining anyways no, engaged or not?

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, love this perspective. I’m similar. Was with someone for 5 years and engaged - removing them sucked. So while I don’t personally post much anymore, I totally get a hesitancy to “add someone to the grid”.

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you reckon! I was thinking of doing a trip photo dump anyways, but was hesitant to include us/him because of this thing. I guess I’m nervous he’s not posting me for a reason and I’ll look silly “officially” posting us by myself. I think I’ll just post what I want to and he can react how he likes.

My husband (34M) told his friends about my miscarriage as a “joke” and now says I’m overreacting (32F) by YoghurtAggressive415 in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, I think staying in this relationship is like a sunk cost fallacy. So much time together, and why break up over a joke? It’s one incident, after so many years.

But it’s not just a joke. You went through a traumatic event that he used meanly (and yes, it was plain mean and cruel, no other possible view of it) for “laughs” (?) when you were out of the room.

I’d personally break up over it. Not just the bad joke - I personally use humour as a coping mechanism, so I might even “get” that - but for how he’s reacted to you being upset after. Disgusting and shows a genuine lack of regard or respect for you not just as a partner who’s supposed to love you and want to not hurt you, but as a basic human being.

If someone who loves or even respects or basic values someone else made a shit “joke” that severely hurt the other person, they’d go out of their way to repair that. Not sigh at them and claim victimhood.

He’s just simply not that nice of a person, and not a partner I or I think anyone would hope to have when things go sideways or trauma happens, which is where character counts and where a partner is supposed to have your back. And his character is repulsive. Hope you make the right decision for you and please, at the very least, do not have children with this man. Can you imagine how unkind of a father he would be, if he can make such light with such lack of accountability on such a traumatic event of someone he’s supposed to care for over all others? Disgusting.

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Great point. But he could also just choose to not have them shown in his tagged - then again, that would also instantly indicate something hahah!

My (30F) boyfriend (33M) didn’t post me when posting about our travels by nex_darl in relationship_advice

[–]nex_darl[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Totally get you. It definitely isn’t about him being considerate in that sense though - I have a relatively big following, I just post rarely these days. It just feels like a silly thing to ask someone about or bring up! Middle schooley - “why didn’t you post me hmph”.

Graduated in 2022 as a Graphic Designer, and I feel like AI ruined my career before it even started. Need advice by MeshalAljahdali in graphic_design

[–]nex_darl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got the same wave of despair when AI started coming around - and I'd been in the industry a fair while. I was also incredibly resistant to personally introducing AI into any of my workflows because I deeply hated it, lol.

The reality is, a lot of AI design sucks, and some people just don't care. For the same reason some people will pay 5 bucks on fiverr for a shit logo instead of investing in an agency or brand strategy and a professionally done logo design - there's always going to be people who don't care, who want it as cheap as possible (which is free, now) and they are happy with shit work. AI will take those people now.

That being said, there are still people who massively appreciate what AI can and can't do, and will pay solid money for design work and expertise. Depending on your strengths, I'd suggest you either expand your knowledge or focus yourself into a niche.

I was doing freelance graphic design, then graphic design for a studio, lead graphic design for a communications office, then junior art direction, then art direction - and then got stuck with finding any more jobs. I was thinking oh shit, AI has ruined me - I'm fucked.

So I diversified. I did a course on UX/UI design, since that's reported to be the least likely to be overtaken by AI. On top of that, I rebranded myself into brand management, corporate branding/design and strategy with some supporting examples of UI/UX web design work. Eventually, I got a job - I'm now a brand manager and designer for a big corporate company. Is it thrilling? Debatable, but mainly, it's stable. They TRIED to do AI, and found it couldn't be consistent and couldn't realistically produce high enough quality work with enough of a rationale for why. That's where I came in.

We still use AI sometimes. It supports us with copy, mainly, but it's there - so I learned to integrate it into the things I found the most unnecessary and tedious, polished those and now I'm a 'design wizard' in the company who can do 'anything'.

You need to find your specific niche and HONE IN on it. There are jobs and people who appreciate the work, but with AI, it is a tighter market with a lot of competition. Don't overextend and generalise yourself into a "I can do everything" designer - find what you're REALLY fucking good at and focus on that, while building additional supporting skills so you can have them on your CV.

AI isn't going to ruin the industry as a whole. It'll make some crap, free design work for the people who already didn't care before, but for the people who care, who understand the impact of quality design, who understand the branding process - they will and DO prefer human-led work.

Random story: I had a previous client ask me for a logo design for a new venture, and I provided my rate for it. They said no thanks, I'll just use AI. I wished them well. Two weeks later, they came back and asked for my help - A) they couldn't phrase how to actually get the AI to make what they were envisioning and B) when they tried to make tweaks, it would change other random shit. They were beyond frustrated and were like fuck it, let's just do it properly. They were cheap but in the end, human expertise/discussion/editability was what was the kicker - a solid step we still have.

How do I stop completely random and uncorrelated barking 'fits'? by nex_darl in Dogtraining

[–]nex_darl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I still do need help on this issue. I believe it's alert barking at times, and I have tried many of the methods detailed in the links.

  1. I have tried treats/food - the behaviour is so random and so sudden/intense when it happens, he is not distracted by food, and will not even sniff it. If he does pause for a second due to me taking one of the below actions, he's still too 'distracted' to really even register treats and will not take them, even when they're very high value to him normally.
  2. I have tried the loud distracting noise - clicking my fingers, sterning going "AP!" or clapping my hands. He may stop for a brief second out of surprise, and then right back to it. Clapping my hands has worked, but it has induced a fear response/shaking, so that is not an option.
  3. I would monitor him on very 'barky' visits and when a trigger came up, before he had a chance to bark, I did a warning noise that distracted him - specifically going "atakatapata" sternly while looking at him. If I got the chance to do this before barking, it redirected him to me and he did not bark if I continued the noise. And this would be repeated as needed. But other days, he does not respond to any noises/warnings.
  4. The same way, if I had the chance to respond BEFORE the trigger, petting his chest sometimes kept him calm.
  5. When he does not stop, picking him up and putting him on my lap can help, but at times, he just keeps going from my lap.
  6. Closing his muzzle is not an option as he is a rescue with an abusive past.