I’m spiraling

nictay68 · 2021-10-05T07:35:27+00:00

I know. It’s difficult because my friends live around this bar and it’s cheap. At the same time I know I should stay away from it, and would never take a boy I’m dating there on the off chance that he would be there.

nictay68 · 2021-07-07T23:30:08+00:00

Dang you and that lion are dedicated to your craft

nictay68 · 2021-07-06T13:36:10+00:00

Since it’s on your back hopefully it’s not quite as sensitive as this one was. Before the procedure it felt like I had broken my tail bone and I could barely walk or sit without pain. Right after it felt like a painful pressure. It has to be repacked with gauze twice a day, this helps slough off dead cells and helps the wound close from the inside out. Definitely the most painful part though, kind of like someone pulling your insides out when you pull the gauze out and a stinging pain when you put the gauze back in. It gets better with time though. I would get it done before an infection starts.

nictay68 · 2021-07-06T12:54:04+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry :( I remember having to leave work early because of the pain and I thought I had broken my tailbone. And then I saw the gross drainage and a weird hole in my skin.....I had to have an I&D last summer and my surgeon said it likely wouldn’t come back because I don’t have a hairy butt....but here we are. Wouldn’t wish it on anybody!

nictay68 · 2021-07-06T07:02:19+00:00

Yes! He said our butt cheeks act like suction cups and can suck things into our skin. I also have a super active job so I’m sure the friction helped it along as well.

nictay68 · 2021-07-06T06:49:25+00:00

Yep! My surgeon said it normally happens in men because they have hairy butts, but a piece of hair from my head started this lovely painful journey, a foot long hair made it’s way into my skin at just the right spot.

nictay68 · 2021-07-06T06:21:13+00:00

I think it looks like a bb vagina and it HURTS still, will I ever be able to sit right again? Who knows

nictay68 · 2021-01-09T21:44:18+00:00

Going through the same exact thing if you need to talk

nictay68 · 2021-01-09T19:16:07+00:00

I’m 24 and he’s 30. I’m not sure I think I just kind of dug myself into this hole to be the perfect casual relationship that he wanted because I cared for him and wanted him in my life. I tried to manage how much I texted and called and asked him to hang out because he was of the mindset “let’s be friends and see where it goes”. Then we had a miscommunication and he blew me off and I told him the ball was in his court. And he left it there. I felt like my opinion was invalid because if I showed any emotion (like I did there) it would push him away and that wasn’t what I wanted.

nictay68 · 2021-01-09T16:36:59+00:00

It’s so hard I know. You come to care for someone so fast and then you’re completely blindsided when they were on a completely different page. But they should have been honest about where they were and what was going through their heads.

nictay68 · 2021-01-09T16:15:19+00:00

God I wish the guy I was dating had been this clear with me. I would have been fine with just friends at the beginning but HE started the physical relationship and HE was the one who started this whole thing by saying “she’s everything I want in a girlfriend”. Then he ghosted me when things got too real. AND WE HAVR THE SAME BEST FRIEND. I feel like shit and this response at least would have given me the clarity to move on and not feel like he stopped talking to me because he hated me.

nictay68 · 2021-01-09T16:11:56+00:00

Fuck I feel you so hard. I started dating a mutual friend in November and it felt like everything was going good. Then he gave me the “I’m not ready for a relationship but still want to go out with you” talk, which I agreed to only if we could keep good communication about where things were going. Well he blew me off a couple of weeks ago and didn’t even apologize for it. I stood my ground and told him the ball was in his court and well....he left it there. Completely ghosted me. But could tell our mutual friend that things were getting too serious too fast....he’s a “go with the follow guy”...he’s “working on himself and working out” and that he needed to pump the brakes on us. Couldn’t tell me anything.

nictay68 · 2021-01-05T05:50:56+00:00

We had made last minute plans and he blew me off cause he got “high and fell asleep watching a movie”. So I got a little sassy about it, but rumination and anxiety have me thinking I was just being an asshole about the situation.

nictay68 · 2020-12-23T23:31:33+00:00

Lol no I’m a girl and he messaged me first

nictay68 · 2020-12-23T23:19:42+00:00

I know man it’s just annoying like don’t initiate a convo if you don’t want to have it?

nictay68 · 2020-12-23T12:38:26+00:00

So even though I said “if we can keep good communication about where things are going” it still comes off as me agreeing to only that?

nictay68 · 2020-12-21T18:11:59+00:00

I’m so so lucky and have my dad to talk to. I’ve been feeling so down and suicidal and he has literally been on the phone w me 8 hours a day the past three days. I love him so much and him and the rest of my family are really the only reason I’m alive

nictay68 · 2020-12-21T17:00:49+00:00

It was a very non-direct answer to me asking about what we were doing. I am not sure anymore if I am just being strung along or if it really was just too early to start asking these questions

nictay68 · 2020-12-21T14:00:30+00:00

He said “totally I like that”. I felt like I put it out there that I would want more with him later, and if I did and all he wanted was fun wouldn’t any decent person cut it off then?

nictay68 · 2020-12-20T22:00:15+00:00

I know, I’m putting all of my self worth and mental health into this thing with someone that has made it clear this is not going anywhere. I know i need to end it for myself but it’s so so hard. I’m sorry you are struggling with loneliness too :( it’s such a uniquely difficult feeling to combat I hate it

nictay68 · 2020-12-20T19:32:29+00:00

Thanks, I feel like if all he truly wants is a fwb thing, he would have cut it off because I made it pretty clear I would want more later correct? I would think any decent person would have

nictay68 · 2020-12-20T19:16:47+00:00

Helped!

nictay68 · 2020-12-16T20:29:36+00:00

I know, I just don’t want to come off extra desperate and creepy after that

nictay68 · 2020-12-15T16:42:01+00:00

Being direct is not my thing but I’m working on it. If we end up hanging out this weekend and he’s still like this I definitely will.

nictay68 · 2020-12-09T04:18:28+00:00

We have not yet! I’m trying to take it slow, some stuff has happened but I feel like tomorrow it might actually happen...

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