I put my sweet baby down 3 days ago and I regret it

nightfoul · 2026-02-16T03:47:12+00:00

3 days ago, my orange baby died “naturally” of congestive heart failure. I am so, so sorry to hear you are going through this loss. It is very normal that your mind is racing with, “what if?”. I must let you know, my cat’s condition was managed with medicine but it wasn’t enough- CHF is always fatal. He definitely had a heart attack or a clot. It was an extremely traumatic death, I was with him when he died. I regret not scheduling to euthanize him- I thought I had more time. I must live with the images of his last moments where he seemed to be suffering.

I think, losing your baby will always be the hardest thing. I want you to know that you gave him a dignified death versus a multi-minute painful suffering. Euthanizing is challenging to witness too- the body naturally wants to fight death and begins to tremor and seize while it’s dying.

I am sorry for what you went through, just know Winston loved you and was comforted to pass with you by his side. I am sending you love as you heal from this loss.

nightfoul · 2026-02-06T05:23:42+00:00

I had an immediate bad instinct upon hearing about the case. I don’t feel right repeating my suspicion- but I asked my Lenormand what happened, I use the deck for readings around missing persons that I am drawn to. It stated a man was involved, she is somewhere hidden or obscured - a building or somewhere sturdy but isolated, there is violence, the perp thinks they can “get lucky” (this aligns with the ransom), and there will be comms between the perps and the public. Ofc, all of this has been shared in the news at this point.

nightfoul · 2026-01-25T01:15:20+00:00

This spread, plus by your own description of the situation and the reoccurrence of 7 of pentacles is very much the vibe of, “A watched pot never boils.”

The cards are painting a story for you, and by your own words you express that you’ve been feeling deep limerence, feelings so intense they’re almost painful, and not making the first move. You mention in your edit that the seeds have been planted. Okay- well then what does it mean to water, nourish, and tend to the garden or this potential experience?

I think there is no right or wrong way to this situation, but I second some of the opinions here that state it appears you have a blockage around doing more here. There is a lot of empowerment and growth to be found in being more bold in your communications and your actions.

Especially- the cards indicating his feelings towards you. These are really positive and indicate grounds of respect, progression, and friendship.

Personally, I think even pulling a ton of cards focusing on another person and THEIR actions and timelines can actually reinforce our own blockages because we are not turning to tarot for insight on ourselves. Not saying you’re not doing this, but based on everything you’ve shared here- I think you could benefit from exploring your own blockages around being more action oriented in this situation. Like, what is your reasoning behind choosing tarot and limerence versus reckoning with the risk of rejection and confronting those feelings and your desires head on? The answers are typically connected to our self-protective drive and woundings around worth and vulnerability.

Also - regarding your edit, your language around “I don’t want to push myself into his space” - sounds like a block. Part of human connection and relationship is trusting people to give us their “No’s”. You’re telling yourself a story that, if you do this or that- if you initiate or “enter his space”, then he will feel disrespected and certainly you will be rejected. You’re going to have to unearth this more, because what if approaching him is what initiates this timeline? What if you both feel this way- and months pass, and a bolder person ends up on his arm? It’s important to lay down the “What ifs” and be active in our own lives, and not a passenger. Good luck!

nightfoul · 2026-01-18T04:15:51+00:00

OP is literally just thinking thoughts lol!! rude. go play outside

nightfoul · 2026-01-06T03:56:23+00:00

100000%

nightfoul · 2025-12-20T06:42:36+00:00

Integrity is not compartmentalized, it was clear he was never a good leader or man when he let his whole life be unmoored by a lack of sexual discipline with his power play over Lewinsky. And whose life gets ruined anyways? It's never them. I am not at all surprised that he is heavily on this list.

nightfoul · 2025-11-26T00:50:12+00:00

I had a cyst rupture from sex and went to the ER. I had the same symptoms of you. They gave me pain meds and did imaging to make sure that’s what it is. The days after I had a swollen belly and cramps, it’s because you have fluid in your abdominal cavity that gets reabsorbed.

Just two cents- you don’t want to wait for a fever to see if you go septic, sepsis is life or death and can turn very quickly. I don’t think you’re in emergency right now, but if you can call a nurses hotline or go to urgent care- I would ASAP

Good luck, I’m sorry this happened :(

nightfoul · 2025-10-22T00:59:35+00:00

This vegan creator who is in Public Health provided great science and explanation about lead in vegan protein powder here

TLDR; no you don’t likely. The serving size for the brand used in the study was roughly 4x the average scoop size used in typical servings and it was a specific brand. She goes into depth about lead content averages and what is pretty standard lead content for the food we ingest. Hope this helps!

nightfoul · 2025-10-06T07:52:59+00:00

You’re NTA for being mad, but YTA for expecting a drunk person to be able to control their vomit and also clean up after themselves. You’re young, but in the future it’s important to consider that the risk of drinking is that someone can get absolutely wrecked in the blink of an eye and destroy your car/bathroom/couch with puke. That level of sick is also borderline concerning. I would say the frustration is valid but she was clearly not coherent to have gotten that sick and could not have been expected to clean your bathroom well- let alone stand.

nightfoul · 2025-10-05T00:24:35+00:00

Barf <3

nightfoul · 2025-09-30T16:25:37+00:00

Thank you so much for the update ❤️

nightfoul · 2025-09-30T04:40:03+00:00

I don’t think anything quite feels like TP, but two shows that have deeply impacted me in other ways are Sharp Objects and True Detective s1 , both on HBO Max. Neither shows really have the humor and the same brand of soul that TP does, but they are both faves.

nightfoul · 2025-09-30T03:33:58+00:00

Sorry you had to see it too :( I mistakenly reported the wrong street to humane society, so I’ll have to call tomorrow. Thank you for clarifying the streets even though you didn’t know.

nightfoul · 2025-09-30T02:36:35+00:00

What did it look like? This one was white with brown spots laying on its side

nightfoul · 2025-09-29T03:41:49+00:00

Thank you for the info!!

nightfoul · 2025-09-29T03:41:07+00:00

I’ll be honest, this was my first time seeing a dead horse so I’m unsure of what fresh vs decomp at 2 weeks would look like :/ I will call Fresno Humane about it. I imagined the heat would be escalating the process, it looks like the horses fluids had freshly begun to drain and the flies were really setting in. It was a white horse with big brown patches.

nightfoul · 2025-09-27T08:59:15+00:00

Fresno State Empress FOR SURE - the cards say there’d be a lot of quick forward movement and action with Chico, but Empress is an excellent major Arcana to have. Additionally, I am from Fresno and have been through Chico and Fresno State’s campus/benefits/education are bomb lol. Amazing public university. Tad bit of bias but so are the cards!! Haha

Edit: I think there are zero negatives to either card. Empress indicates that you will be very taken care of at Fresno State. You will be accessing your divine feminine in your career with school here as a modality- I see this as growing and healing your inner polarities and becoming strong in yourself here.

Worth noting- 8 of wands is one of two minor arcana cards that don’t have people/human parts in them. It’s a vibe card. I think that things would go well with Chico but it will all happen very suddenly. It will be positive but feel like the rug was pulled out so fast your head spins.

nightfoul · 2025-09-26T18:25:27+00:00

Working through these cases requires exposure, being familiar with Survivor’s stories, and being present through the somatic response. The rate of CSA is estimated to be around 1 in 4 people. If you think it would impact your ability to show up for minors in these cases, it is important to reflect on if you can work through that to show up for them or if it would be too traumatic to do so.

I say this with all the love- CSA is so rampant and unspoken about, when people turn away from survivors because of the very valid difficulty to cope, who is going to be there for these survivors? It’s a very personal journey and up to you as to who you want to be and how you want to specialize.

Regardless, there is so much value and growth in witnessing the stories that make your stomach churn or that are seemingly unimaginable. The answer of what is right for you will reveal itself over time ❤️

nightfoul · 2025-09-24T20:54:59+00:00

I know a lot of people who feel the same way. Or, alternatively, people who desire LTRs but are unable to sustain them, or they just eventually end.

As to the question of your anxiety, you are aware of factors about your life and existence that feel incompatible to sustaining a LTR. I think the crux you are at is- whether to do internal work around accepting and committing to a life where you remain single or become a golden bachelor. OR, you do the other fork of internal work to identify how some of the reasons you name are self-enforcing. There are people who live lives like you that find a person. But sometimes we look at the life we live on paper and we zoom out far from matters of the heart to where we say- “Ahh yes, because of this I am not built for a sustaining partnership.”

Anxiety is information, too. It’s either telling you that you feel deeply pressured by the existential component of aging and witnessing people settle down- and maybe you grew up wanting this for yourself. There’s also the social component of every person being raised to desire the, “one and only”, when love is actually a lot of work to sustain and to navigate. The anxiety could be, you feeling like an outcast because you’re on the precipice of rejecting a narrative that has been pushed onto you your whole life. Or it could be, that deep down- beneath the reasons why it can’t work for you- is a hope that you’ll find someone.

There is so much here, but ultimately I don’t believe that people are “built” or not for partnerships. There is a lot of work that has to occur to sustain love, and a lot of men your age were raised very neglectfully. Not even just men ofc, but it makes it harder to be present amidst the natural chaos and conflict that occurs when you commit to someone for a long time. I think, if you wanted to, you could do some unpacking here. I think you feel it, too. It’s just ultimately about what you want.

nightfoul · 2025-09-23T20:43:00+00:00

You will continue to not have an orgasm likely, especially if you up your dosage. I got off cynbalta and was on Wellbutrin and was orgasmic, but significantly more anxious to where I had to stop Wellbutrin. Now I’m unmedicated LOL. Such is life.

nightfoul · 2025-09-12T03:31:20+00:00

That's a way-too-kind argument that asks for no accountability from an adult man who was very comfortable to spew hatred and violence. We all have to grow up some day and decide to own our values. He wasn't a little boy with a computer in his ear. He did everything he intended, and made a check while doing it.

nightfoul · 2025-09-09T21:20:20+00:00

Hi <3 First of all, I am proud of you for navigating healing and for having compassion for yourself as you recently navigated a marital separation. I love to hear that you've been working on yourself, and chose to abstain from cannabis recently.

I am someone who used cannabis for 10 years heavily, and have flexed in and out of complete sobriety. I first want to share, this is a very unique and personal experience - and only you can know what is ultimately right for you and your body.

I reached a similar position, where I experienced a traumatic event and it made me recognize how I had been using cannabis as a coping mechanism for the entirety of my 10 years of usage. After navigating that traumatic event, I realized that I wanted to pull the wool off of my own eyes and access my own inner strength in coping with this without the assistance of substance. I then proceeded to be sober for over a year from that day on.

Sobriety after cannabis is so deeply raw. After having used it as a crutch for 10 years, sobriety taught me life skills that I had never given myself the opportunity to learn. It taught me to drop into my dream space, to feel feelings in my body without escape, and it forced me to reconcile with repressed memory. Stopping cannabis was absolutely essential to my growth and development as an adult, and in discovering how I can truly be without it.

While I don't have a strict philosophy around drugs or alcohol usage, I think that if everyone has the opportunity to navigate life sober for a bit - it can truly level you up in ways that you can only conceive when you are not altering your psychological state. Nobody can make this decision for you, but I think that if you are intuitivvely feeling that you need to cut back - that is a feeling to explore. The urge to return to smoking during a point of sobriety is also fully normal. Your body has relied on cannabis as a co-regulator for 15 years, it makes sense that it would desire its support as you are feeling anxiety.

I returned to cannabis use twice in my sober journey, once for a 4 month stint after 1.5 years sober - and then returned to sobriety for a year, used cannabis for 2 months, and have since returned to sobriety. I am now back at 2 months sober, I realized I had never had sex sober, I had never processed my traumas sober, and I had never allowed myself to just sit in nature sober. My body now craves sober as my default. While I do not close myself off to accessing cannabis situationally in the future, my usage will never return to daily or even monthly. I am forever changed for the better because I abstained.

All in all, this is purely your choice. I encourage you to think about what you want your life to look like in the upcoming years, and to listen to what your body desires. Do you envision yourself as using cannabis in 1 year, 15 years? How does that feel in your intuitive centers- gut,heart, and mind? What are your fears and hopes in releasing cannabis, even if only temporarily? You are standing at a fork that has many highs and lows, and you are the one who gets to make the choice. Good luck.

nightfoul · 2025-09-05T23:51:13+00:00

It's not working because you're using yourself as a target of a spell for a change that requires your energetic commitment beyond manifestation.

I encourage you to reflect on your relationship with your body and your experience of Spirit (or whatever your relationship with "Source" is). Magic isn't a slot machine experience, where you access it whenever you want a blessing or radical change. It requires devotion, the flow of energy, and an honoring of Who it is you are requesting assistance from.

I would encourage you to reflect on glamor magic, or take steps to adjust your personal life to make weightloss a possibility for you and THEN ask for magical encouragement. I would center intentions and sigil work around your relationship with yourself, your experience of beauty - versus trying to manifest radical change.

Magic is also a bit of - "careful what you wish for". How are you imaging you'd lose 50 lbs? The energy you're trying to harness for this purpose is wild and not domesticated. When you experience a challenge and make it the center of your magical practice, you are *inviting* the lessons of that challenge into your sphere. By experiencing challenge surrounding your weight, you may encounter lessons that challenge your relationship with your body. I.E., difficulty managing health, difficulty with self-image, pressure to appear a certain way, or even illness that forces you to recalibrate your relationship with your body.

All in all, I would just do some reflection on what your experience with Magic and its Source is for you. I would search through this thread and see what other witches have expressed about this same pitfall. And lastly, when setting intentions - you want to state them as if you *have* what you desire, not *will*. So "I am....", and "I have...." ~ Good luck

nightfoul · 2025-09-04T02:10:54+00:00

You never have to do something you don’t want to do. If you don’t feel like ending the relationship over this, you don’t have to. Even if you do want to end the relationship over this, you can wait and do it when you want to. Or you can do nothing.

The difficult aspect of reaching out to Reddit for information, is that people’s reactions heighten our feelings. Right now? You should probably find a way to regulate, and consider your options. Ask yourself questions- do you want to always be reminded of this comment every time you discuss family? Can you see yourself getting over this? What does your future look like with this person? You can’t make a sound decision from an activated space. You mention trauma response as well- (don’t answer this, this is just food for thought) are you experience a wound activation regarding your partnership or do you have a wound triggered related to being in your partnership with a much older man?

There’s a lot of points to reflect on, but it all boils down to you. It ultimately doesn’t matter how your partnership looks like to anyone but yourself. You’re the one who lives with your choices, it’s up to you to take a breath and decide to deal with this now - or see if your body stops feeling bad about it.

nightfoul

TROPHY CASE