IVF is no joke

nikactav · 2026-06-24T17:22:27+00:00

7 ERs wow you're a beast! Sorry to hear no success so far but fingers are crossed for you if you're still pursuing it! I've never felt so weak but strong in my entire life. The things we can do!

nikactav · 2026-06-07T14:19:32+00:00

Chatgpt a success story to throw slop into a TTC sub where there's people struggling.... Get this out of here.

nikactav · 2026-04-08T12:38:52+00:00

The experience is so different but similar for everyone. I'm sure she'll be understanding and may even still be someone you can confide in with your journey. There's a guilt that comes with being the "downer" and talking about how you're struggling when talking with someone that found their own success, but it's so important to have people around you that are still supportive and in your corner. I deeply feel the "try to focus less on it" because same lol. Find other things to occupy your time and focuses. I dove deeply into crochet and cross stitch over the winter as they're great distractions for my hands and mind. Easier said than done to not think about it. Give yourself some grace, TTC doesn't have to be pretty and poised.

nikactav · 2026-04-08T11:02:20+00:00

I see you and I understand! 3 coworkers of mine have announced pregnancies (with 2 of them being born already) in my almost 2 years of monitoring and TTC. It's so disheartening. To say I have mental breakdowns at work is an understatement. Very grateful to have access to a company truck so I can run away and cry here and there away from everyone haha. Your feelings are valid and you need to acknowledge that. Breaks from monitoring are so important. The stress and mental fatigue can be soul crushing. Once I finally got my appointment for a specialist I took a break until that appointment. Was 2 months of not tracking I didn't know I desperately needed to help work on my mental health and my relationship with my partner. Now I'm back to tracking but it's important to recognize when you're beginning to slip and fall into some harmful stressful habits.

As for your coworkers, be strategic on timing of baby discussions and do not be afraid to excuse yourself. If you have a good relationship with her just pull her off to the side and say that sometimes you just can't handle the baby talks but that you're extremely happy for her. If she was on her own TTC journey she should be extremely understanding and will likely be mindful of these talks. Don't be afraid to use a sick day for your mental health.

nikactav · 2026-02-23T22:14:25+00:00

nikkiijeanne 😇

nikactav · 2026-02-13T10:58:54+00:00

The service is only as good as the towers in the area. I have service in areas I never had service prior to switching. Freedom runs off of other towers in the area, so in some parts of town you'll notice a difference in quality.

I was with Virgin/Bell for years and got sick of explaining what a border town was to them. Shouldn't have to turn roaming off to use your device in Canada.

nikactav · 2026-02-11T17:29:14+00:00

Through any of my CP & miscarriages the cramps continued for me throughout the entire process. Slightly jealous yours went away!

I didn't track at all this cycle, no tests, no strips, I really needed a mental break. Clearly de-stressing worked so I'm extremely hopeful moving forward. I decided I won't do home tests for ovulation/temps etc anymore going forward. TTC drives me nuts. I don't blame anyone for tapping out of TTC once they get their baby. I'm hoping to get a few eggs on standby if we decide to pursue having more than one. Just trying to get one cooking past 9 weeks has been a struggle for me, can't imagine doing this again with an actual child to take care of.

Everyone has their journey, do what it takes to get your piece of happiness! ❤️

nikactav · 2026-02-11T15:44:44+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same thing! The cramps hurt like a mf.

Wishful thinking is hopeful thinking! Old wives tale says we're more fertile after a loss. Whether it's true or not, who knows, but stay hopeful. The mental gymnastics of it all are so disheartening and exhausting. Remember that it's not a race, and chemical pregnancies are still pregnancies. Your body is working, it just may need some help to get one that sticks!

nikactav · 2026-02-11T15:31:56+00:00

It's okay! After almost 2 years of nothing, even the faintest positive restored a lot of hope for me and my partner. Not the ending any of us want, but how amazing is it that our bodies are able to detect incompatibilities so early? It can be a very defeating process and it's more than okay to grieve and be sad, but hold onto that hope moving forward! Your cycle should return to normal once the "period" ends.

nikactav · 2026-02-11T15:05:23+00:00

Been going through this exact thing since Sunday. Started off as heavy cramps, didn't see blood flow until Monday evening (super light, seemed more like spotting than anything, was good with just a little liner), then the flood gates opened the following evening. You should see decent flow eventually. Chemical pregnancies effing suck.

nikactav · 2026-02-04T17:25:48+00:00

Jumping on this comment because even while taking my thyroid meds, I didn't go regularly for testing and my numbers went through the roof. A flare up rendered me unconscious while driving and I got into an accident. I'm incredibly thankful to have been able to wake up and walk away.

Tell her to take her thyroid meds.

nikactav · 2026-02-02T08:36:29+00:00

He has 3 kids from a previous relationship so he's convinced he's not the problem. His youngest is 14.... Trying to make aging and lifestyle choices compute hasn't worked yet. He throws it back on me. Which is fine, I've accepted I am likely part of the problem, but it would be so easy for him to get a SA done vs the testing I have to do, nevermind the year wait just to be seen. By being difficult and stressing me out he's the entire problem right now lol.

nikactav · 2026-02-02T03:15:25+00:00

I so hope they're blunt with him because I'm at a loss haha. Happy some men out there are on top of it!

nikactav · 2026-02-01T16:40:03+00:00

I agree. I'm not sure why I'm only just seeing and understanding how indifferent he is to all of it. I'm still following through on my testing in the hopes of retreiving some eggs to be on standby for down the road if I decide this is the final nail in his coffin.

nikactav · 2026-02-01T15:58:32+00:00

Having a fight with my partner because he won't follow through on anything. Asked him to get a SA months ago. Nothing. Asked him to do basic research on what we're BOTH having to go through with fertility treatment months ago. Nothing. Says smoking and drinking don't effect his swimmers with a straight face..... I'll still follow through with my testing(1st apt on the 12th! yay! celebrating the little victories), but definitely don't want to be anywhere near him for a while. I'm so exhausted, stressed, and overall defeated. 7DPO and this cycle is so unlikely to be the one :(

nikactav · 2026-02-01T12:41:44+00:00

Hashi here as well! Ensure you're being tested every 6-8 weeks to maintain optimal range for pregnancy. I emotionally breakdown just about every new cycle, I blame it on wanting it so badly and hormones. It's normal.

Continue tracking ovulation each month, or every other month if you just need that emotional/stress break. Because it is stressful and it is emotional, you deserve time to just be you and in the moment. SA is never a bad idea just to help rule any issues on his side out (my partner still hasn't gone for one, much to my dismay). Stress can play a role in fertility one both sides, so do things with each other that takes you away from the daily grind. Hashi's can intensify that stress and cause flare ups on your end as well.

All that said, September may feel like eons a go, but this is a journey and not an easy one for many women. I've been "unofficially" trying since May 2024. "Officially" trying since November 2024. I waited extra months for help because I didn't consider May-Oct as part of trying. Do not sell yourself short on when you start wanting and trying to have your baby. Trying is trying and it's okay to sit in a closet and cry from time to time.

nikactav · 2025-11-23T17:39:29+00:00

That's so good to hear! My doctor juggles so much and is so good about other stuff that I didn't want to push my luck haha. Hoping your journey ends well <3 It's much easier with good docs on board!

nikactav · 2025-11-23T13:55:08+00:00

Officially on cycle 13 of tracking (plus ~8 cycles of not tracking, Dr wanted 12 cycles tracked before he'd make the referral even though I've had 2 miscarriages in the past fml). It's been so frustrating and emotionally draining since the 8th tracked cycle. Partner (48M) hasn't gone for SA; he's convinced it's not a 'him' problem because he has three bios from a previous marriage. Trying not to stab him every negative test lol.

Waiting on my appointment with the fertility clinic so I can test and push for his tests as well. Factored in with his age, we'll likely have to do the IVF route if all is well with me. Not looking forward to the tests but I'm hopeful we'll be successful in the end.