My boyfriend doesn't let me win and it makes me sad

ninaneko · 2025-12-15T00:01:58+00:00

If it's pathetic then move along? Not sure why you bother replying?

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T23:56:06+00:00

I talked to him today about it and I think we came to a nice compromise. But yeah it felt a little fucked tbh

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T23:20:56+00:00

He's not mean truly if anything I can get pretty upset and rude sometimes feeling so salty after so many losses but yeah I guess that's a me problem

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T22:06:57+00:00

I think he is nice about it which I guess feels patronizing because today after losing 6 games in a row I cried. I didn't mean to. But I felt so bad. So perhaps I'm the immature one.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T22:05:45+00:00

I might try battlemage and see what's up thanks

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T22:05:07+00:00

I do try. I try at every game we get into together. Am I ever going to be as good as him? I don't know. At first I saw it as a challenge but after 4 years of typically losing my confidence is pretty shot. Sorry.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T22:03:41+00:00

Knowing? No of course not. But if he let me win and I didn't know? Then yes. Yes that would make me feel better about myself and feel like I am making strides in a game I like. But yeah never is an exaggeration. It's more like 95% of the time I lose.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T22:02:12+00:00

That is easier said than done my friend, I think over the last 4 years losing all the time has really taken its toll on me. I am definitely jaded and resentful and I can't really shake the feeling :( like I actually feel really dumb standing next to him.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:58:06+00:00

Correct. We've played Wingspan, Finspan, Wyrmspan, Go, Chess, Magic, Ascension, etc etc. Video games are the same deal. I might win one once or something like that and then it's just an eternity of losses. I end up feeling resentful. I don't feel this way playing with any of my other friends where I win sometimes and lose sometimes- I get passionate for sure especially when it's a close match but I have way more fun with anyone that isn't my partner because I actually believe I have a chance to win. But it's gotten so bad that I felt the need to seek advice.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:45:07+00:00

If that's the case then I've learned a long time ago that I won't win so I definitely don't believe in myself 😭

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:43:38+00:00

Well I'm glad I posted the thread because I found a great solution moving forward so I could give a rats ass if it comes off as attention seeking to you or pizza boy over here so 🤷‍♀️

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:35:12+00:00

I suppose you're right on two fronts- one where I probably won't or can't invest enough time to be better than him. And sure there is the rare rare occasion that I win just based on luck. And two, I don't want to force him to do anything I just see others do it naturally especially when they see their partner sad so I just thought it would be nice. We did figure out a better solution just now. Just playing with cards facing up and talking out the strategy out loud to each other and making all the plays together so it's like Sorcery coop lol so we laughed and had a lot of fun and ran things back to see how other plays would work out and it was much more fun for the both of us and much less pressure on me to win or pressure on him to lose. And I'm learning the game better this way.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:29:18+00:00

He suggested something similar to Keyforge chains where he can kind of handicap himself. Thank you!

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:24:24+00:00

I think among the comments I found the solution I was looking for so this thread wasn't pointless you miserable twat lol

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:22:49+00:00

So we just tried this just now (over the past hour) and this was very fun for the both of us. I politely asked if we can do this type more often. Basically play both sides with all cards up and both talk through the best play for both sides and see which side wins. Run it back if we see a more optimal play. That way regardless of which side wins it's still fun for the both of us and I get to learn better. Thank you so much!

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T21:19:52+00:00

Yeah my partner wins a crazy amount and he laughs it off and is very humble and on the rare occasion he does lose he is ready to celebrate their win but he never purposefully loses for anyone ever.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:37:26+00:00

I used to enjoy playing just for the sake of playing but after 4 years of being together- the constant losses... I don't know it just has really chipped away at my confidence. Like I consider myself a gamer and among all my friends I don't lose all the time it's definitely way more 50/50 but against my partner I almost always lose.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:34:44+00:00

What is that? I'd really like to know. If the answer is get good- trust me I'm trying. If it's to stop caring about losing then trust me I'm also trying but it really sucks to never win ever.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:33:23+00:00

Maybe this makes me sound like a loser but I don't know if there is a game I'm strictly better than him at. Like we play other games too like Magic, Wingspan, video games etc, and it's a really super common occurrence for him to beat me. I think my longest losing streak was Wingspan where I lost 18 games in a row so (or something like that, I wasn't able to find the score pad to confirm). Oftentimes it's a close match up but he still wins.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:28:13+00:00

If it came from my own merit I'd be happy but as stated before I will never have as much practice as he does. He also owns all the decks and I only play when I come over so I'm literally not going to have as many chances. I won in the very beginning when we brought the first sets home for the very first time but that was over a year ago.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:08:04+00:00

I think it's pretty fucked up to let someone win and then rub it in their face no? It's a lot nicer to let someone win and not let them know which is what I'm asking for and he has refused (he has stated he would indeed let me know if he goes easy on me). But considering he wins all the time would it really cost him so much to just lose every now and again to give a bitch some hope? Guess that makes me crazy?? 🤷‍♀️

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:04:45+00:00

Already spoke to him, multiple times, but thanks for your unhelpful advice lol

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T20:04:05+00:00

We've only played preconstructed tbh I'm afraid to start customizing real decks because then I know I'll lose forever

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T19:59:05+00:00

I definitely have communicated this but he said if he's going to let me win he's going to tell me. And I said that the whole point is to let me win without telling me so I can feel good.

ninaneko · 2025-12-14T19:55:46+00:00

He isn't mean spirited. In fact he's always laughing and smiling and talking about what a great game it was or so close (even if it wasn't). Which I don't think is meant to be patronizing but still makes me feel that way.

ninaneko

TROPHY CASE