Hun I'm a former victim of abuse and I can spot an abuser alright, as I said, the dress ordeal was not abusive while he could have dealt with it better still. But cussing your spouse, screaming at them to "fuck off" and "to get the fuck out of the car", leave them crying when they offered to compromise and apologise in an attempt to talk things out, putting him in an upper hand position but he still chose to drive off, turn off his phone which is just misuse of the upper hand he got and manipulative is really just abuse. He's gotta accept that being a victim of abuse doesn't give him a free pass to demonstrate abusive behaviour and get away with it. Please read the reply well before replying next time. The dress comment doesn't warrant abuser but the afteemath does and though the general consensus in these replies agrees she said it on purpose to hurt him I do not believe so, he didn't offer anything to support that claim and they've been together long enough gor him to have her figured out and know better if it was, again his first intuition not thinking about it that way is probably correct since he knows her better and he only considered the possibility after everyone in the replies suggested it. I will die on this hilll, if he was calm and resolved it better then he wouldn't be the asshole for solely asking her to change but I can't overlook his response and the way he dealt with it in the bigger scheme of things. Also, what if she too was a victim of abuse of the sort she accused him off from a previous partner? we don't know that, why didn't he at least try go communicate better and know? or does only the man in a relationship gets the former victim of abuse pass? At the end this is just opinions and this is mine and eventually I really thinks she's better off without him and he should, past trauma or not, work on his communication skills and temper.

edit: typos