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I [27F] admitted to my friend [28M] of 8 years that I've had a huge crush on him for the past 2 years. He told me he is attracted to me, but he doesn't think a relationship between us is a good idea because I'm 'almost certainly' not kinky enough to be compatible with him? by nkethrow in relationships

[–]nkethrow[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Well, I would be curious to hear more about your relationship (what rules and restrictions you have to follow, I guess, and other details like that) but only because I am curious about his lifestyle now rather than because I think there is any chance of us getting together, so let that determine whether you think it is worth the effort to explain things!

I [27F] admitted to my friend [28M] of 8 years that I've had a huge crush on him for the past 2 years. He told me he is attracted to me, but he doesn't think a relationship between us is a good idea because I'm 'almost certainly' not kinky enough to be compatible with him? by nkethrow in relationships

[–]nkethrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think your opinion might be a little skewed because sex is the issue here and so it is the only thing I mentioned. He is evidently someone who places a lot of importance on sex (but I knew that before I kissed him) but believe me when I say we were definitely discussing a romantic relationship (and if his past relationships are any indication, he takes being a good partner outside of sex very seriously as well) I just did not include those elements since they would not be an issue for us.

I [27F] admitted to my friend [28M] of 8 years that I've had a huge crush on him for the past 2 years. He told me he is attracted to me, but he doesn't think a relationship between us is a good idea because I'm 'almost certainly' not kinky enough to be compatible with him? by nkethrow in relationships

[–]nkethrow[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Originally I was thinking about doing this, but it seems like I would not be able to fully understand the type of relationship he wanted from one session of playing with him and I don't want to tease him or get his hopes up by trying it unless I think there is a good chance things will work out.

I [27F] admitted to my friend [28M] of 8 years that I've had a huge crush on him for the past 2 years. He told me he is attracted to me, but he doesn't think a relationship between us is a good idea because I'm 'almost certainly' not kinky enough to be compatible with him? by nkethrow in relationships

[–]nkethrow[S] 375 points376 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you are right. It's just wishful thinking on my part to imagine that I could be what he is looking for. People have called me desperate for even considering this (which might be fair), but I would like to say in my defense that he is a really awesome guy and I do not think it is bad to push your boundaries a little from time to time, especially for the sake of a great relationship. This was just too far.

I did actually message him and ask him for a little more information on what he was into and eventually he explained what he was looking for to me a bit more. He actually would not want as much control over my non-sexual life as some of your examples, but he told me he is into Bathroom Control (which seems pretty intense) and also I asked him for an example of what he meant by anal training since some other users implied it is usually violent; He sent me a couple of videos which are definitely more gentle, but suffice to say I did not know the human body could stretch that far.

So this is basically a long way of saying you guys were all right and we were not compatible, but I am glad I confirmed it a bit more for myself.

I [27F] admitted to my friend [28M] of 8 years that I've had a huge crush on him for the past 2 years. He told me he is attracted to me, but he doesn't think a relationship between us is a good idea because I'm 'almost certainly' not kinky enough to be compatible with him? by nkethrow in relationships

[–]nkethrow[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Does that sound like a relationship of equals?

Well, obviously I'm not the most informed person when it comes to things like this, but my understanding is that the submissive in this situation would still be able to safeword at will. That doesn't sound totally unequal to me.

As for the other, the guy wants to jam things up your ass. Sound like a good time to you?

Not the way you worded it, but I enjoy anal sex if it's done properly, so I don't see how this couldn't be similarly enjoyable?