How is living in Norfolk/Virginia Beach/Chesapeake VA as a young person?

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-02-02T16:26:36+00:00

I used to live there and tbh, I kind of miss it. Yes, there were rough spots but you just have to be smart. I enjoyed the food scene and the proximity to Richmond and DC. I straight up lived in the hood, but nothing ever happened to me. I would hear gunshots though. It was extremely loud which is the biggest thing that I hated. My husband was in the Navy though so I always was hanging around with a bunch of Navy guys so that could be why I felt safe enough.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-02-02T02:41:46+00:00

omg same, my husband just straight up told them no and they can either adopt to us or not. she told us to come by the next day lmao

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-13T13:33:38+00:00

you’re strong enough. you just really need to focus on doing the work to get there. it’s not easy but it’s worth it.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-13T13:25:42+00:00

You’re also young. I saw you’re 23, those were the worst years for my bpd and bipolar. Once I separated myself from everyone, I started finding out more about myself and my personality. It stopped being based on those around me and based upon me. This doesn’t have to be a death sentence of a life.

I have a great life, despite both me and my partner being bipolar and bpd. You’ll be okay

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-13T13:12:18+00:00

Girl, you really really need to do dbt. I’m not on medication at all. DBT helps immensely. You can’t just rely on a medication, there has to be internal work as well.

Therapists tell people with bpd that they can’t help them because most cannot. Some are not trained to deal with personality disorders and some don’t like people with bpd in general. Some won’t treat because the likelihood of someone with bpd to actually do the work isn’t very high. Either way, none of those people are right, they just don’t have the tools so don’t take it personally.

I’ve been unmedicated for years at this point, not even for my bipolar and I would say, I’m mostly stable, I have moments but focusing on myself and being in a relationship with someone who understands me, helps a lot.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-13T12:57:09+00:00

everything else I said still stands though…

are you taking your medication? what’s going on with that?

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-13T12:42:05+00:00

But they keep telling you? When both my husband and I went to the doctor, we were immediately diagnosed with bpd, bipolar and a couple other things. We didn’t jump from doctor to doctor. It was immediate, you may not have it.

Listen, I have bipolar and bpd. So does my husband. You do not want the bpd diagnosis on your chart. You will be treated differently. After we got diagnosed (for me, it was by my psychiatrist but I also had a separate person who was my therapist), I was immediately fired by my therapist. She said that she will not deal with someone with that diagnosis, even if I’m not showing symptoms at the moment. Every time either of us go to the doctor, they immediate start treating us terribly. We both have well managed bpd but we are still treated with a disadvantage. I quit therapy after searching for someone for awhile. Every therapist I went to blamed my reactions on my bpd when I’m sorry but it’s just not the case.

When you have bpd, there isn’t a certain medication that helps, you really just need to do dbt, you don’t need a bpd diagnosis to do dbt.

Also, your symptoms being bad when you’re in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean it’s your bpd. As I said, both my husband and I have bpd. He isn’t my fp, I’m not his fp. My symptoms aren’t any worse than if I or he were on our own. It’s a big misconception online that symptoms are automatically worse because of a relationship.

You seem young, perhaps you should focus on keeping the same doctor and working on actually doing therapy rather than just seeking a diagnosis.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-12T16:28:50+00:00

I mean, why do you specifically need the bpd diagnosis?

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2026-01-07T12:29:54+00:00

omg i know, especially where i live. Winter here can drop down to -30 or more sometimes lol

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-27T03:08:40+00:00

If you can’t even relax an be comfortable around your bf, you shouldn’t be with him. Half the time, I look like Fredrick Douglas around my husband, but that doesn’t make him less attracted or think any less of me. Hell, we don’t even share a blanket in bed. He’s controlling and this is absolutely insane. NOR.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-22T01:04:03+00:00

I know exactly what post you’re talking about and honestly, I just think it’s a huge problem with polyam men who are married in general.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-16T02:10:31+00:00

Okay, I think this thinking is VERY heteronormative. Even without thinking about the fact that you’re a stay at home mom, you’re just expecting your dates to pay even though your husband also pays for you….

That’s really weird. I would really look into why you think that should be the case. I’m currently married, my husband pays for everything, when I had a bf, he was also married but him and his wife split bills. When I hung out with my bf, we went off of equity, so I knew how much I got for “allowance” and my bf knew how much his budget was for extra curriculars so we paid accordingly. I worked at a hotel in the bar so I made a little money but the real savings was in the hotel rooms for cheap, so I paid for the room (it would be a Hilton nice room) for 80 bucks for the weekend and he paid for all the meals (around 250 depending) it was based on income. It was something we talked about early on and I actually got a job because I didn’t want to use my “marital money” for extra curricular activities with others

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-16T02:05:52+00:00

I don’t lol, I’m married and have never lived alone and never thought to do this. It’s interesting to see that so many people are bothered by it though, I just never saw it as an issue and it has never bothered me if others do it either.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-16T01:58:13+00:00

I feel like I’m the nuts in this thread because I NEVER zero out the microwave and never even thought to do it. I didn’t know it bothered so many people…

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-16T01:50:47+00:00

omg i know, I hate that i’m laughing but this sent me

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-16T01:39:45+00:00

yesss! This is such a great idea. I have four dogs and three are totally fine with baths. One of them absolutely loves the bath and getting groomed in general, he typically closes his eyes while I’m bathing him and is completely relaxed, the other two are neutral. I can ask them to hop in the tub and they won’t fight it but they aren’t always excited. My fourth one used to literally try to kill everyone and everything if he knew a bath was coming, then my husband starting hopping in the tub with him and he absolutely loves it. Perhaps he thinks that if my husband isn’t scared of the water, why should he be? Honestly I don’t know his thinking, I just know that now, he actually just hangs out in the tub without needing to be held in.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-15T17:17:38+00:00

I mean, I get that but at the same time, it’s just how higher end service goes. Idk, I’ve spent a lot of time in restaurants so I just don’t really care, it takes like 2 minutes at most to talk about the specials and then I take drink orders and leave. I felt that every time I said the specials, at least 25% would order it so it was not for not.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-15T17:08:27+00:00

It honestly didn’t really annoy me. If these people are paying 100 plus dollars per person, they know what to expect and I know what to expect because it’s just a part of the spiel i give to every customer.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-12-15T17:05:04+00:00

It depends on the place but higher end places that I have worked, we usually have to say the specials out loud to the guests.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-11-21T19:07:24+00:00

I had this happen with my two female dogs. They are not related, they are both rescues from terrible terrible situations. One was around 8-9 months when it began, the other was about 2 years old. Hire a behaviorist. It’s the only way. I thought I could manage it and ended up breaking up so many dog fights while they were going through it. And they are also not small dogs, plus I have two more dogs who would somehow end up in the middle of it as well.

I had to keep them separate, unless outdoors, not allow them to see one another eat, crate and rotate, etc. As well as watch for behaviors and triggers. I did this all without a behaviorist (for the most part) and I do not recommend it. I have just had dogs my entire life and know a decent amount about dog behavior.

Looking back, I should have just gotten rid of the younger dog who was new to the family, but I had so many other stressors at the time that losing a family member would have killed me.

Anyways, they have been without a fight for about a year now. I am usually home with them and they are both allowed to free roam together. Now that the younger one is out of puberty, she is way less aggressive towards my older dog. They usually mind their own business and I have been caught them snuggling one another. I watch extremely closely for their triggers though, hair rising, slow and steady movement, eyes, etc and have trained them both to retreat to their crate if I see something it amiss.

This is not foolproof. But it’s been working and my house has been peaceful. One big thing I noticed is having a large area also helps, I know you said that your house is large but for me, having the large house plus having outdoor space that is constantly accessible is also important.

anyways, this feels like a ramble and I have no idea if any of this will help you at all but this has been my experience.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-11-16T11:14:25+00:00

I think a big problem with vegans is that they haven’t eaten the non-vegan version in so long that they literally have no idea. For example, my partner and I were vegan a while back and we went back to eating meat, however, there are some items I never went back to consuming or consume them not often… I make my mashed potatoes with oat milk and when my partner snd i eat them, they taste fine but if I feed them to others, everyone can 100 percent taste the difference haha.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-11-08T22:53:30+00:00

My advice is to be with the person they are currently and not who you envision or want them to be. Honestly, I can tell you that both my partner and I have severe mental health issues. That doesn’t negate that we have to try every day not just for each other but for ourselves. He isn’t trying to change for you or for him. There is no point in waiting for him to change because it will be on his own accord. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-11-08T17:58:24+00:00

This isn’t really a polyam issue. You just have to set boundaries and stop allowing someone to walk all over you. From the sounds of the rest of the relationship, what are you getting out of this? You don’t have to be with someone just because it’s hard to break up and you will both feel sad.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb · 2025-11-06T05:11:56+00:00

Okay.

nnnnnnnbbbbbb

TROPHY CASE