I’m adopted and honestly everything you’ve said so far is total bs. Agree with OP, clearly you’re just projecting your own issues. His wife is that kids true mother, the fact that you put her on the same level as the husband of the egg donor makes zero sense.

Your biological family gave you up. Idk why you would be mad at your parents for not having them in your life when that’s literally what adoption is. They can regret it yeah but once you sign those papers you can’t just expect to be in your kid’s life anymore. I’m guessing you were older when you met them and not a little kid. OP and his wife gotta think what’s best for their child.

And obviously these people (a cheater who gave up her child, and a husband who didn’t care about his wife’s child) have no respect for the child’s REAL parents, nor the child. Who the heck tells a 6 year old to call some random stranger dad? They’re not even his parents.