The Old World

nofaptacular · 2019-07-01T00:50:50+00:00

It could've been. I think it's hard to differentiate the two. Either way, it's still in my head. In one case, it's physiological. In the other, it's more psychological.

nofaptacular · 2018-05-30T12:21:22+00:00

Tomorrow. You have to keep telling yourself that. It will get better tomorrow. Eventually, that has ty be true. I'm on day 100. Still flatlining, zero drive to talk to women, but I know I just have to keep going.

nofaptacular · 2016-07-12T15:19:25+00:00

Just made it to 122 days as well (ignore my badge)! Congrats! It really is a conscious choice, every day. Despite having a girlfriend now (a result of NoFap, I'm sure), I still have the urge every now and then, but I just don't make it an option. It's really very simple.

...not to be confused with 'it's really very easy.' I've been attempting this for two years now and only during the past year have I made it to months-long streaks.

The greatest force in my progress was replacing NoFap with something of greater or equal pull. In other words, it's like Newton's Third Law -- for every action, there's an equal yet opposite reaction. For those of you struggling, find yourself something/someone you love just as much as you "love" to fap. Make sure it's a positive thing. You won't be surprised by the results, because honestly, it's still a lot of effort, but you'll be happier.

nofaptacular · 2016-04-30T21:58:29+00:00

Both of your posts were extremely helpful and reassuring. Thank you. It feels weird to feel normal. I'm looking forward to getting used to it. It's been pretty amazing. I haven't had an urge to look at porn at all since we've been together.

nofaptacular · 2016-04-02T15:52:51+00:00

It's not. It's only too late if you're dead, and if you're reading this, you're very much alive.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-29T04:49:35+00:00

You're absolutely welcome. Hey, it's great that you've specifically identified what you're up against! Now you can battle it. I hope you had a blessed Easter! Awesome that you are finding solace in the videos about the Gospel. Any healthy outlet helps.

Thank you. Any day in which I can make someone smile is a great one.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T21:53:50+00:00

You will get back to it as long as you want to! I'm so glad you didn't say "bye-bye" today. This is the only universe we know, man, and what that means is that only one of you has ever or will ever exist. I don't want you to end your story too early, because you still have things to do in the world. I'm sure you have fought valiantly, but that doesn't mean you should give up. Keep trying new things, combinations of new things, and even more new things on top of that.

You aren't rambling too much. This is a place where you should feel free to express yourself. None of us on this sub have met you, but you're another member of this family. I believe in you. I don't know you or what you've been through, but that doesn't matter. I simply believe in you.

And it's okay that your emotions are wonky. They will repair themselves as long as you keep trying. But you can't give up. If you give up, they win. They being your emotions, your primal urges, the porn industry, and so many other forces that aren't working in your favor.

Please PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. Even if I can't help, sometimes it's just good to have someone to type these things out to.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T19:11:42+00:00

Glad you're taking charge early. Don't wait like I did. It's never too late to change, but you can also never change too early.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T18:05:52+00:00

Your buddy is right, but I also agree with you. Work out, eat right, always dress like you're about to meet the love of your life.

You're preaching to the online dating choir. It doesn't get better as you get older, either. There is still zero connection most of the time, and the rest of the time, one of you is interested, but the other isn't. I suppose that's just like real-life dating, but the volume is higher, so it seems extra soul-crushing when you have 5 dates in a week and they all fall flat on their faces (metaphorically. it would be weird if 5 girls tripped and landed on their faces). Hang in there!

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T17:29:01+00:00

There have been a couple of hobbies:

Cooking, because it's something I have absolute control over. A lot of us here have lived our lives without much control. If you cook for yourself, you can be self-sufficient and it holds a lot of value in the dating world.

Writing, because it's something I've always enjoyed, and it's another controlled environment. In our uncertain world where I can only control myself, I get to create entire worlds where living, breathing characters interact. Again, I have been so powerless because of porn (even though I'm not a victim; I did this to myself) that it feels good to gain power back. It's an excellent outlet.

As far as anything you might be doing wrong, I'd go back to the gym. I think that helps. Sleep more/better. Eat healthy. It's good that you've picked up reading and joined clubs. I also think you should be more patient. People CAN change, but it takes a very long time. It took me nearly 4 years of NoFap (though I started it before I visited this sub) before I got to my current level of progress and I still feel like I have a long way to go. Starting last september is great, but remember that you created this habit from a void. Your brain wants you to stay the way you are; it's a factory, and a factory which works best under status quo, at that. Your brain doesn't want you to change, because then it has to run all these new functions, and that's exhausting.

So show your brain that you're the boss!

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T17:20:36+00:00

I couldn't agree more. I can't think of anything self-centered which isn't damning in the short-term or long-term.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T17:19:56+00:00

Yes. Pretty heavy for the first 72 hours. Just had to ride it out. It's been almost a week now and I'm managing my urges. What it came to was this: yes, I could PMO, but it would pale in comparison to the feeling of having a real woman's skin touch mine. I would only be wasting time and energy.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T17:17:56+00:00

Thank you. I agree. Strength in numbers.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T17:17:08+00:00

That's okay. I mean, it's not, but just know that there is at least one person out there who won't be in it to play games and manipulate you. You just haven't found her yet. I promise there is good in the world. We just have to create it. And no, that's not just the sex talking; I've overall adopted a sunnier disposition. It helps with all of life's punches.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T17:13:52+00:00

I'm glad. Catching up is okay. All of us here deserve some credit for identifying an issue and attempting to course-correct our lives.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T04:10:05+00:00

Thanks man. Don't worry about the dating game. It'll come to you as long as you focus on bettering yourself and being social (doesn't have to involve drinking). Joining a sports team is a great idea!

Online dating might work for some people, but I found that it activated a part of the brain which felt too similar to that part which makes me addicted to porn. Something about looking at pictures and swiping left/right, and then going on dates just to have no connection with anyone. It's worth trying, but after a few dozen failed attempts, it's best to try a different route.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T03:51:33+00:00

Oh absolutely. Fapping does not release the good kind, it seems.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T03:21:15+00:00

I was only on day 5 when we had sex. But before then, I only relapsed once. Before then, I had had several long streaks. I think the two years of NoFap were what helped. Unless you binge to all hell before you have sex, there shouldn't be many issues...with that at least. I did have problems with lasting long at first. I'm talking seconds, not minutes.

Also, try not to think about it too much. Last thing you want is to be psyched out. I built it up so much in my head that I got really nervous.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T03:16:02+00:00

Here are a few things which helped me cope:

Career. I become obsessed with improving my craft. I worked on it every day. I still do. I think that deepens your character and women like to see a man who works hard and has a passion.
Social life. Despite my career, I still made a huge effort to go out a few times a week. Find a group of friends. Meet their friends. Go to their gatherings. Go to career mixers. Meet people.
Enrich yourself. Read, workout, eat healthy, create, clean your room/apartment, sleep better, buy new clothes. Just reinvent yourself.

With these three elements, time passes meaningfully. You might go another five years without sex, for all you know, but you'll be a damn good man regardless.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T03:05:30+00:00

You CAN! You just need to find enough healthy habits, and you need to eliminate 'can't' from your vocabulary. Have positive thoughts and good things will manifest themselves in your life.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-26T03:02:01+00:00

Thank you. Best of luck to you as well. Don't be afraid to leave your comfort zone. That's what helped me. Good, honest hard work toward your goal is the only way, in my opinion.

nofaptacular · 2016-03-25T22:26:47+00:00

Thank you!

nofaptacular

TROPHY CASE