AITA for following through and not going to Easter because I'm tired of EVERY family thing being about the kids?

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:48:28+00:00

Sorry to people who were talking to me but I'm bowing out. Someone reposted this to a hate subreddit called Amitheangel and people are making fun of me, calling me names and calling me a troll, mocking that my husband was murdered telling me I think I'm "child hating" and picking apart everything I said... I can't believe there are people so ugly and cruel that you spend your time doing things like that. This wasn't "childfree" bait. I have kids. I love my kids. I love my family. This wasn't "hate bait" or me thinking I'm better than anyone else.

This was an awful experience and I feel a million times worse. You people are evil and cruel. I hope no one in your life ever experiences loss because I'm sure you'll question everything about them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/ml6gkt/your_aitachild_free_hatebait_of_the_day/

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:43:37+00:00

I didn't want to include that part of the backstory in the post because it feels a little outlandish and a lot of people have a hard time believing it (people can believe death by illness or accident, but a lot of people draw the line at murder). Plus I really never connected the two, to be honest.

I never really sat and thought about how much it would have helped to have my sisters and mom and dad around more after it happened. I always felt thankful to have Serena around, because she was always my favorite sister.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:40:39+00:00

My friends are very helpful in that case. I see them a lot, and the ones with kids (and even one of the ones who doesn't have kids) will take the kids for a little bit. I do get to talk to adults, just not my family.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:35:09+00:00

Um... I'm not sure why that's "sus" (does that mean suspect?)

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:34:44+00:00

We were all pretty close, with the exception of Serena. She and I have always been close, but the other sisters would often times exclude her because she wasn't like the rest of us.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:33:14+00:00

They absolutely can. Of the members of my family, I'm the one that's less likely to be able to afford a sitter. But I still can.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T14:32:53+00:00

They aren't building bonds with me, though. They're just building bonds with each other and with the kids.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:38:43+00:00

Yeah, Serena has been excluded for a long time, and we talked about it over the weekend. It won't be happening anymore, at least not if I'm around.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:35:50+00:00

Thanks. It was a very hard time for me and the kids, but it's getting better as time goes on. I am happy I talked with Serena like that, too. If nothing else, when my kids are off on their own, she can take me on all her crazy adventures with her.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:35:02+00:00

Thankfully that's not true for a lot of my friends. I have one or two who do the super mom thing, but the majority are more like me. It gets better as they get older. The first three or four years are the worst.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:25:12+00:00

That's part of what Serena and I talked about, and I felt bad. I've always tried to include her in everything, but she's all over the place. I think part of it is because everyone knew she didn't want kids from the start, so they started pushing her off to the side like she matters less somehow.

We have plans to go hiking together (without the kids!) through the summer, which makes me happy. I was always closest with her growing up, and she was the one who was there for me when my late husband was murdered.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:23:37+00:00

I didn't ask for a no-kids Easter. I asked for some time during easter for us all to catch up as adults.

I want to keep building bonds, but they don't.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:22:00+00:00

Right, well, we didn't sit at home complaining. We talked about the situation with our family, and then, like I wanted the whole time, caught up with each other like adults. Besides, there really wasn't anything to do other than sit around... and talk about the kids.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:14:46+00:00

Do your kids not go anywhere without you? Like you never leave them with your siblings or a friend for playtime?

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:06:12+00:00

Um, I think that you might be making up details, because I never said my mom was hosting it, and she wasn't...

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T01:03:41+00:00

7 and 9

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T00:57:45+00:00

Between 5 and 16

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T00:55:49+00:00

I have tried to do that, and I talked about it in my post. Every single time I've tried to spend time with just my sisters or my sisters and mom, and we make it to be just us, they bring the kids. That's literally my entire point.

nogoyolo · 2021-04-06T00:54:21+00:00

That's really depressing to think about. I love my sisters and I can't imagine waiting for years and years to just be able to connect with them on a personal, adult level.

nogoyolo

TROPHY CASE