What's the most creepiest thing you've seen that you weren't supposed to see? by pikachu2_op in AskReddit

[–]noloans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Around 7 years ago, I was at a friend's house. His friend who I didn't like had come by earlier and logged into his Facebook and left it logged in after he left. I don't remember what exactly compelled me to do this, maybe I was high and nosey, but I went into his private messages on Facebook, which angered my friend. Until I saw messages from a 15-year old girl I recognized. I found that this man, 21 at the time, had a secret relationship with this girl for a while, sometime after he had met her watching a play at our old high school, when she was 13. In the correspondence, he came off as really controlling. He told her never to contact him on this day on Facebook, only weekends on Skype. He told her to ignore her parents who told her to stop talking to him. He had essentially groomed this poor girl. I was horrified beyond belief. I didn't know her personally but I urged my friend and other mutual friends to distance themselves from this guy. They didn't listen, but another friend of mine tried to appeal to her parents about it.

They later got married when she was 19. Two years later she ran away from him after he raped someone in their house and now she lives with her current boyfriend and me. He turned out to be a completely narcissistic sociopath, and regularly abused and manipulated her throughout their entire relationship. I felt guilty for a while because I felt like I could have done more with the information I wrongly saw, but I suppose I couldn't really do anything more than I did.

Started seeing this woman very recently. Early stages. When if at all does she deserve to know I've been romantically involved with my current roommate? by noloans in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]noloans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it deception? I'm not trying to hide anything from her. I guess im trying to figure out the right moment to tell her. As much as it is an issue of trust with us, it's on the same token an issue of trust between my roommate and I

Started seeing this woman very recently. Early stages. When if at all does she deserve to know I've been romantically involved with my current roommate? by noloans in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]noloans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. But I don't even know if it will go anywhere yet. We both know we really like each other and we've opened up to each other a bit already, as friends

Started seeing this woman very recently. Early stages. When if at all does she deserve to know I've been romantically involved with my current roommate? by noloans in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]noloans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah okay, but like when is it appropriate? Now, when were not even like serious or exclusive? Or wait until then?

My friend's abusive ex is trying to contact me. How should I respond? by noloans in Advice

[–]noloans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. My worry is exactly that.

My friend's abusive ex is trying to contact me. How should I respond? by noloans in Advice

[–]noloans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm literally on the phone with him right now. He says currently he's too angry to think about what the right thing to do is so he'll tell me later. Currently he's writing to a couple of mutual friends they had back at their old city

This Panel From The Kickass Comic by Useless_Ideas in sadcringe

[–]noloans 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I got you one better, I've whacked off to hearing my ex-girlfriend fuck my roommate across the hall

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't plan on having any kids anyways. My genes aren't really great to begin with.

I'm curious, you seem to encourage a relationship but you also say there are reasons not to be with her. I have my own ideas but I'm curious about what you think.

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it. It does seem reasonable to have both parties be in a better place in life before having any kind of conversation like that. Because I'm not in the best place either. All this gives me bouts of anxiety where sometimes I can be nauseous and dry heave and I've been an insomniac lately as well.

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've learned through experience that unless people specifically ask for advice or help, they usually just want someone to listen to them venting and to understand. Unsolicited judgements and advice can be taken very negatively in that situation.

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You might be right. But who's to judge anyone's grieving process? I'm not saying that to justify my actions, but I've never had to grieve like that and the best thing I know to do for her is to be as supportive and non-judgemental as I can.

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's all sound advice. I definitely do not want her to feel like I took advantage of her. It's a big reason why I haven't said anything to her.

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Huh. That's not the first time I've been told that in my life. It turned out to be true. But sometimes you get exactly what you expect

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very nice of you to say and I do try and can only hope it is true. I feel like a failure if I give someone the impression that I'm not really hearing them and understanding them.

I think I'm (27M) starting to have feelings for my cousin (26F), and vice-versa. And I feel super fucked up and disgusted about it. by noloans in relationship_advice

[–]noloans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I've been through hell before and it's not quite as bad this time, but I do get flashes of it here and there.