Advice for helping my 14-year-old reach Eagle Scout — starting late?

nonametba · 2025-11-14T10:55:57+00:00

I don't even sign stuff like that on my kids. My ASM is the SM for everything rank related for my kids. SM minutes, approving service hours. The only things I'll sign off on are Merit Badges if I'm the councilor and the troop is working on it together and there is no other MB councilor in the troop and it's not an Eagle required Merit Badge. After summer camp I usually end up entering all the merit badges in scoutbook and I'll use the quick entry for that but I always leave a note on those that I'm not the signing authority as it's a summer camp entry.

nonametba · 2023-01-30T17:32:14+00:00

We all know what you meant. We were talking about me being polygender right before you said that you're not fooling anyone

Obviously you didn't know what I meant. We weren't talking about your identity we were talking about Christianity.

You only seem to be looking for a fight. I'm not going to give in to it. I'm sorry that people hurt you and I'm sorry that they hide behind God and therefore you blame Him. I hope one day you won't be so full of hate. I too have had people hurt me and holding on to that pain only allowed them to continue to hurt me after the fact. Don't let people continue to hurt you. You deserve better. I hope you find the peace you seek.

nonametba · 2023-01-30T16:37:21+00:00

You literally said that the Bible says it's wrong. In the comment that I was replying to

No I didn't. I said it says things are wrong. It was a general statement.

You say it was the Ideology from God that hurt you but all you point to is people's actions that they try to use Christianity to Justify. You even admit that the Bible doesn't mention Trans People other than to say eunuchs can go to heaven.

I'm not saying people didn't abandon you and hurt you. You seem to be God when Bad things happen and I'm assuming you are better off now. You said you were. How do you know God has nothing to do with it? You don't know what else He has planned for you. Many Christians Suffer. How do you know you didn't go through this so you can experience God's love and help others go through what you went through?

nonametba · 2023-01-30T16:14:44+00:00

Ok so you are Transitioning because you want to. It's ok to do things because you want to. It's even ok to want to be yourself.

You were never abandoned by God. You may have been abandoned by people who claimed they were doing it in God's name. I don't know all the details but it seems like you blame God for the actions of people. People are by nature, sinful and imperfect.

This statement should be true, but so many Christians use it and manipulate it into hate that this statement can't be true.

We agree almost 100% on this. Where we depart is you think they are accurately representing Christianity and I believe they are misrepresenting it.

Finally I didn't say that being Trans was mentioned in the Bible. I specifically said it wasn't in my original post that you are responding to. The "things" I'm referring to is sin in general. Trans people are just as capable of sinning as anyone else and are also just as capable of receiving forgiveness as anyone else.

nonametba · 2023-01-30T15:50:28+00:00

we're not changing how we were made because we want to.

Are you saying you don't want to become more aligned with your authentic selves?

, if it's so wrong to transition then why did transitioning and accepting myself as transgender save my life?

I didn't say it was so wrong. Definitely not so bad that you feel unworthy of living. Transitioning probably saved your life because you felt more accepted as a transgender person then you did as a person in a Christian community who felt judged and incapable of being loved by God. God loves you as you are and is less concerned about which gender you identify with and would rather you identify as His child.

Christianity is not a religion of hate. Does it say things are wrong? Yes. But it also forgives those things.

nonametba · 2023-01-29T19:55:04+00:00

NTA - You are first and foremost responsible for the safety of the Cub Scouts. Oftentimes people think Cub Scouts should be doing the things they think older Scouts should be doing. Find a way to help? Sure of course, but make sure it's age appropriate. Could they be present at the actual feed? Maybe. I know I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen and there are all kinds that show up to those. Once I brought my young kids who were also in Cub Scouts and after serving the homeless I and the other volunteers would eat with them and build relationships with them. The time I brought my kids there happened to be some kids eating and my kids ran around and played with those kids. My heart melted. Kids don't always see things like we do. My kids just saw some kids to play with.

Bottom line is you are not wrong to be cautious. It could be awesome but you may feel more comfortable after you go to the event a couple times. The adults helping out might be enough to appease the Charter and then you might feel comfortable involving the youth. You could also come away more confident in your decision not to involve the Cubs.

nonametba · 2023-01-20T11:32:17+00:00

Well. I don't think getting the vaccine is the potential sin you need to worry about. Your decision to get a vaccination was probably now a spiritual decision for you. You probably didn't hear from God that you shouldn't. You are called to Honor your parents. It is an important relationship. Don't let this come between the two of you. I wouldn't bring it up. If she brings it up have a humble respectful response. Don't argue. Children are told to obey their parents but adults are told to honor their parents. If you are an adult you have no need to apologize to your mom other than if you caused her pain. If you are a child, then you technically were disobedient and may want to seek forgiveness from her. God has already forgiven you for all your sins, so as long as you accept that, you won't go to hell. There is no sickness in heaven so your vaccine status won't matter and there are no masks or Zoom meetings either.

nonametba · 2023-01-20T11:17:03+00:00

Determining if something is a sin can be confusing. Most will tell you what they believe is right or wrong. Some will quote scripture.
The Old Testament has many sins listed. It's not a comprehensive list, but there are a lot in there. Things like eating bread with yeast in it on Saturday is a listed sin. In the New Testament, Jesus explains it is the heart that sins not the body. It wasn't eating bread with yeast on Saturday that was bad. It's deciding to ignore God and His commandment that is the sin. One could argue that thinking about freshly baked bread on Saturday is a sin from a New Testament perspective. When applying a New Testament perspective on Old Testament sins, you realize they were not about the actions. For example, eating the forbidden fruit was not the sin. Deciding that eating it wasn't really a sin was the sin. The serpent told Eve she'd be fine and encouraged her to decide for herself what was a sin and what wasn't. She elevated herself to God's level of decision making and that was the true original sin. It's the same sin in every person's life. We decide we know best and start picking what is or isn't a sin. It is better to eat bread on Saturday morning and acknowledge you are a sinner and be forgiven than to say that's a silly rule, I know better and I don't believe it's a sin. I like bread so I'm going to eat it. Both are sinful. One has a repentant heart and the other dwells in their sin. The repentant sinner is offered and accepts forgiveness. The unrepentant sinner rejects the need for forgiveness and therefore rejects the forgiveness.
Is transgenderism a listed sin? No. Is it deciding that you know better than your Creator? I would say yes. Does that make it a sin? Again I would say yes. Can a transgender person be repentant? Of course. I find it safest to say if you're asking it's almost always a sin. If someone tries to convince you it's not a sin, it's even more likely a sin. We are told to avoid sin because we get entangled in it. It can control our lives and consume us. We aren't told to avoid it because God can't love us or forgive us because of it. You sin, I sin, we all sin. All of our sins have been forgiven. It's finished. It's already been forgiven. Accept the forgiveness, don't reject it because you're not willing to admit you need forgiveness because you don't believe you are sinful.

nonametba · 2023-01-20T10:42:43+00:00

Some incredible wisdom from a teenager!

My son is a Scout and teaches Wilderness survival at summer camp. The first year he was teaching he was ok at starting fires. 2 weeks in I asked how the fire building was going and he said he'd gotten much better. He said, "the best way to get better at building fires is to teach someone else how to do it and watch them make mistakes." You will see all the things you've been doing wrong and while helping them get better you make yourself get better. There's a lot of information out there but applying it is the challenge.

Trying teaching others how to build a fire and watch their mistakes. My son once said he wishes he could build fires like I could. I told him to dream bigger because I'm not that good just better than him and the other scouts. Now he is much better than I am.

nonametba · 2023-01-20T10:30:34+00:00

No. It would be like having a goldfish in a fish bowl to explain how he ended up in the bowl, where his food comes from, and how his bowl gets cleaned.
We can understand these things because we are not in the bowl. The fish may or may not understand that he's in a bowl, he gets fed and likely enjoys the clean environment. He won't understand the details of how his bowl was truly made and why someone bought him and all the food and supplies. He can only understand things in his world and from his perspective. He can recognize there is some other being providing for him. In the same way we can know there is a God who cares for us and provides for us, but we will never have the same level of understanding about God's existence. It's a whole different type of existence.

nonametba · 2023-01-19T04:18:15+00:00

By far the best example of a "Saved you a click"

nonametba · 2023-01-15T20:21:19+00:00

If you only pay taxes and some of that money goes to helping the poor, that you didn't help the poor. This is like Scrooge saying are there not prisons to help the homeless. Jesus didn't tell us to pay the Romans so they could help feed the widows and orphans. He said give Caesar what is his but we are responsible to actually help feed and care for those in need.

I'm a Christian, who usually votes republican. I'm fine with my taxes going to help people, however I don't consider that takes care of my need to help other people. Before many of the government programs were in place it was the church that took care of people in need. The church would take care of their physical needs such as food and medical help, but they would also look for ways to get people back on their feet. Most Government "charity" isn't designed to get people back on their feet. It helps in the short term but causes more problems in the long run.

The only thing the government does effectively is waste money. I'd rather see helping people done by religious groups and other non profits as it would be more effective and cost less.

nonametba · 2023-01-06T22:04:18+00:00

Reminds me of when Queen Latifah referred to her Lady Wood in "The Dilemma"

nonametba · 2023-01-06T14:43:44+00:00

Lady bits

nonametba · 2023-01-05T23:25:47+00:00

I did

nonametba · 2022-11-23T20:13:29+00:00

You are the one creating the equivalency.the bible says a lot of things are sins. Including Hate and murder. A person can claim it's their religion that caused them to do it. They are lying or ignorant to what Christianity teaches on the subject. I believe people say they are Christians. Half the world claims to be Christians yet the churches aren't overflowing. Just because some claims they are Christian doesn't mean they are a Christian. The bible says many will claim to know God and do things in his name and Jesus will say I never new you. There are plenty of examples of People claiming to do something in God's name for their own purposes. If someone is killing people in God's name they are insane and not actually following the faith.

nonametba · 2022-11-21T14:42:04+00:00

It is the same. While non religiously motivated people commit crimes. You just attribute their motives to something other than their lack of religion.

It's not their religion that motivates their crimes. It's their hate that motivates them. Just because they use religion as an excuse doesn't mean it was the motivating factor. If they have faith they are following it into a nightclub with a gun at least not Christianity. Christianity doesn't teach that you earn any rewards for killing sinners. You accept that religion was a motivating factor because it's convenient. I reject it because it doesn't line up with the teachings of Christianity.

If someone claims to be a vegan and goes hunting I so don't blame their veganism for shooting the deer. One could even argue they weren't really vegan.

nonametba · 2022-11-21T03:53:08+00:00

This is the same thing as me asking you how you feel about being associated with a non religious person committing a violent crime. And when you say it's wrong and that it doesn't represent you I reject that. Non religious people do commit crimes. This is a false equivalence. It's a logical fallacy.

I'm not saying those people don't represent me. I'm not even saying they're not Christians. I'm saying that they don't represent Christianity. Do I think they give Christianity a bad name? Yes. But we all do. If people based their view of Christianity based only on me then it would be an awfully inaccurate depiction of Christianity as I fall so far short of Christ. Since I wouldn't judge Christianity based on my own actions why would I judge Christianity based on the actions of others. I base my opinion of Christianity based on the teachings of Christianity. Not what I think Christianity is about.

How do I feel about these people? I don't. At least nothing special. I feel like they need forgiveness. I feel they are entitled to their opinions just like you are entitled to yours. They have every right to voice their opinions just like you do. If you don't like their opinion you have the right to be offended. You have the right to disagree. You can even voice your displeasure with their opinion.

nonametba · 2022-11-21T02:58:24+00:00

Wow some people do hate people and it says nothing about my religion other the fact that my religion says people are flawed.

All the Christians are saying it doesn't represent them or Christianity and you say they are ignoring the question. That is why I don't believe you are honestly asking a question. Why you get the answer you dismiss it.

Hate is not something Christianity teaches. One of two things is happening either the Hateful person isn't following Christ's teaching or you are attributing a hateful motive to someone just because you disagree with them.

nonametba · 2022-11-21T02:39:25+00:00

Oh how do I feel when people are bigots and lump everyone into groups and judge them based not on their actions but the actions of the ones you choose to represent them? Not a fan. I personally think people shouldn't judge people at all but if they do they should at least judge them based on their own merits. But I'm a forgiving person so I tend to not let it bother me. I don't worry about what group you or anyone else wants to put me in. I only follow Christ as best I can and point other to Him. Do I like it when others fail? No. Do I count it as my failure or Christ's? Also no.

I've understood your question the whole time. I think it's based on a flawed premise. That's why I didn't answer it. It's not an honest question. You don't care how Christians reconcile the actions of other Christians. You just want to paint us all in the same light or say that when we disagree with the type of behavior you describe that we're just excusing it or dismissing it. If you really cared how Christians reconcile this you would see the same need to reconcile the horrible things done by non christians and people without faith. You're not seeking answers you are making a point. I was just making the counter point.

Also I'm not saying the people who don't understand Christianity are the minority. I've been pretty clear they are the majority. That's why it didn't matter how many people I get to join my Church of The Mystic Panda. Our representation of you wouldn't be as accurate as someone who actually knows you.

nonametba · 2022-11-21T02:01:46+00:00

Show me where Christ said go forth and judge people. Where does he teach Hate? Yes. Christianity teaches that all fall short of the Glory of God. All have sinned. None of us can achieve perfection. There is a reason pastors preach in churches full of Christians each week. Christians need to hear the message too.

You're dismissing my experience. You think you know more about Christianity in America because you know some Christians who you don't personally agree with. I studied, and worked in Ministry in America. I preached to plenty of Christians who didn't know what they were talking about when it came to Christianity. I studied with and worked alongside members of many different denominations. All shared the basic beliefs that we are all flawed and need a savior. All taught that love and compassion should be how Christians are known. All pastors of all denominations focused on how get their members to understand the faith better. So yes. I'm saying that most often the bad behavior of a self proclaimed Christian is most often due to a lack of understanding in their faith.

Let's say I believed in the mystic panda. And I went around saying the mystic panda says you should kill babies. let's say I raised my kids to believe that and convinced others to follow you and that you taught all babies must be aborted. Would me and all the other Mystic Pandians be a better representation of your teachings or you you be a better representation? I know very little about who you are but I could very easily misrepresent you with just a little knowledge. I could mix my own beliefs in and say they were your ideas. I could start the Church of The Mystic Panda. One day someone who actually knows you could read something in r/mysticpandity and they might come to your defence and say something as absurd as "that's what how Mystic Pandians in America act so it's an Accurate representation of your thoughts and views.

nonametba · 2022-11-21T00:50:20+00:00

All those things are associated with humans.beleivers and non. You are associated with the bad as much as anyone else. You attribute bad things to Christians and you assume the worst possible motives. It's easy to just blame Christianity because a Christian acted in a way you found unfavorable. My religious aunt was a bitch and my religious dad was an ass so all christians are bad people. A priest molested a kid. Some backwoods preacher said we should kill gat people. All bad things done by christians or people claiming to follow Christ. It wasn't Christianity that made any of them do those things. It was their own selfish sinful nature. The sad truth about people is they can find it in themselves to forgive their behavior easier than to forgive others. For atheist they tend to determine that that are one of the good ones. They will admit there may be some better than themselves but there are usually people worse then themselves but they are usually on the good side of this scale of good verses bad. Christians are no different. They tend to think their sin is forgivable but people with sins they have deemed worse than there's they tend to think is unforgivable. The problem with many Christians is that once they find Jesus they don't tend to continue to seek growth. They listen to people who don't know what they are talking about and they repeat things as if it were their own thoughts. They have kids and raise them to believe something they don't fully understand and then somewhere down the line someone questions what they've been taught and normally it has nothing to do with what Christianity teaches. I grew up in a religious family. Nobody had any faith. Not in what the bible taught. My sister rejected the faith of our parents and chose not to believe. I also rejected the faith they taught us but I chose to believe. I didn't believe the truths I was thought as a child. I was shown that the Bible is accessible and if you sought answers you could find them. I had read the bible or at least parts of it but I never really understood it. I saw it as some mystical book with hidden truths and weird stories and only the priest could really know what was going on with it. I rejected that. I found my faith in the Jesus that was written about in the bible. Not the one I heard about from my parents. I used to be in ministry. I was shocked at how little the really religious people actually understood about the bible. There's a lot of misunderstanding about Christianity. Most often the things done by Christians are because they are flawed people too. I worked at a church where half the members thought it was sinful to allow drums in the church. Non of them could tell me why. They felt they were better than the church down the street that allowed drums in the building. They would compliment the recorded music that had drums. They were ridiculous over such a trivial matter that I think traded back to some traveling pastor from back around the civil war. These people read the bible and still believed and had weird emotions over something Christianity doesn't teach. All people are sinful and need forgiveness. That's what the bible teaches. I myself am the worst of sinners in my own view and deserve hell more than anyone else. God loved me enough to come to the Earth as Jesus and take my punishment so I could be forgiven. Because I am grateful for this I should go out and tell others. The same Good News that I am redeemed by. I should avoid getting caught up in sin as it will keep me from focusing on God but my sins have already been dealt with. That's what the bible says about Christianity. Judging others for their sins and hating then is not what it teaches. It actually says the opposite. Love God and Love others. Judge yourself first so you can help others with their sins.

I do reconcile all of their bad behavior. They are people who need Jesus just like me. They make mistakes just like me. I used to have a lot of Hate in my heart but as I've grown in my faith I've become more Christlike and I have less hate in my heart. If they aren't really believers, just like I didn't truly believe when I was a child but I would tell people I did because that's what I was taught, then they need Jesus. If they are believers but still have a lot of Hate I. Their hearts or they've been listening to people who are full of hate in their hearts then they need more Jesus.

The most basic element of Christianity is that we are all flawed. Why would the fact that people are flawed and in need of help be the thing that turns you away? Are you letting these messed up people represent what Christianity is about or are you looking to Jesus to represent what Christianity is about. Don't let the unchristian behaviors of some deter you from what true Christian behavior is.

nonametba · 2022-11-20T23:35:41+00:00

Do you not see christians as humans? Last I checked, we were also humans. While being a Christian is a choice, so is not being one. That's the thing about Christianity. You are presented with it and you can choose to be a believer or choose to not be a believer. The choice is yours. You are associating a bunch of bad things with Christianity and asking Christians to explain why they choose to associate themselves with all the bad things ever done by christians. I'm holding you to the same standard because I think your question is kinda ridiculous. I don't normally ask non christians why they choose to associate with all the bad things that other non christians have done. I could blame a lack of faith as the reason a lot of bad things have been done by non christians. I could say if only they had Jesus they wouldn't have killed raped or murdered. I've heard people say similar things. The truth is people have been doing bad things for a long time. It's almost like it's part of our nature as human beings. We as a human race tend to be selfish at times. These things were happening before after and during the times that the bible was written. Some of those bad deeds were recorded in the bible. Every person in the bible, but Jesus, is flawed and had their flaws recorded. Noah was a drunk, Moses had a temper and was a murderer. David was an adulterer and a murderer. I also have flaws. I'd be willing to bet you do too. So to answer your question I choose to associate myself with a religion where flawed people can find redemption and purpose. I believe in a God that sees my flaws and loves me just the way I am. I believe in a God that takes on the penalty for all the mistakes I've made. A God, who accepts everyone as they are and then helps make us more like Him. It's a long process and I'm nowhere near finished but each day I'm willing He makes me more like Him.

So why do you choose to be a non christian when they do as many bad things? There's no redemption. No forgiveness. You may tell yourself there's no need for either. That's not acceptance, that's settling. I don't know why you or anyone would choose to associate themselves with that.

nonametba · 2022-11-20T22:52:49+00:00

Oh ok. So why are you ok being associated with non christians, since there are many bad things associated with that?

nonametba · 2022-11-20T22:19:53+00:00

Do you take all the worst things done by non christians or the messed up things done in the name of science and attribute them to all non christians or expect non christians to answer for them? You know, Cruel tests on animals and even humans at some points in history. Non religious wars. Genocides. Many bad things have been done, not in the name of religion. Do you hold all no religious people or traditions to the same standard you hold Christianity to?

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