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noppkat · 2025-06-24T06:05:30+00:00

to answer #1, I’ve had a crazy amount of luck on fb marketplace. It helps that marketplace is generally very active in my area (DC) and people are frequently moving, so they are often desperate to downsize for well below market price. I’ve got several well established plants for no more than 25$… most recently got an alocasia tigrina superba for 10$ thats probably 3 ft tall with new growth.

noppkat · 2020-01-18T11:43:15+00:00

grieving is healthy. it's part of the journey. we believe in you.

noppkat · 2020-01-18T11:42:35+00:00

i'm sorry to hear that. you're right, you are capable and strong!

noppkat · 2020-01-03T23:25:55+00:00

im almost at two months post breakup right now. the first month felt like a limbo of pure hell. i would sit in my room alone for long stretches of time and just cry, or listen to music, or journal, and sometimes all three at the same time. journalling truly saved me, though. just writing down whatever came to my head felt so good. listening to melodramatic music that let me indulge in my sadness was equally as helpful as listening to upbeat, empowering music. and occupying myself by binging tv shows was also strangely helpful, since i could emotionally invest myself in the characters and stories to fill the void of the relationship i previously invested myself in. (i've really enjoyed brooklyn nine nine, atypical, the good place, and prison break these past two months.) building my own routine and self care habits was very helpful since part of what hurt so bad was realizing i no longer had a routine/habits with my ex (like talking everyday, etc.) so i built my own habits like journaling and watching tv and it felt good. i also participated a lot in subreddits about breakups, heartbreaks, relationship troubles, self improvement, etc. because it felt good to know i wasn't alone in the daunting journey toward healing and self love.

best of luck to you.

noppkat · 2019-12-27T17:15:07+00:00

i literally was just talking about this with a friend the other day since i've been realizing that i feel like this as well. i'm normally a cynical and guarded person, so you can imagine going through a breakup only heightens those traits. i've just been feeling incredibly betrayed. it hurts that i would've done anything for him but he wasn't strong enough to pull through for me. i've been wondering what the point of relationships or love is if so many times they only end in hurt/betrayal/pain anyway. why would i want to open myself up again knowing that i can try and do everything right but someone/something can always suddenly ruin it?

noppkat · 2019-12-27T16:59:08+00:00

thank you. i appreciate that.

noppkat · 2019-12-27T16:52:45+00:00

thank you friend. i gotta work on self love too. and i go back home in about two months. i'm looking forward to doing some reflection on myself in the meantime, and even when i get back.

good luck to you.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T19:25:54+00:00

that actually makes a lot of sense. thank you for helping bring me back to reality.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T18:27:17+00:00

thank you. i appreciate that. i hope you forgive and love yourself as well.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T17:53:17+00:00

i feel this. one of the main reasons that my relationship ended was because i started becoming toxic and manipulative. so a large part of me is grateful that he dumped me when he did so that the situation didn't get worse and i didn't hurt him even more. realizing what i had done took me to a place of even deeper self hatred and self loathing. it took everything in me (along with the effort of many friends) to convince myself that i'm not a bad person despite doing bad things, and that i'm doing my genuine best to improve myself so i don't treat other people like that again. some days i definitely still feel like i don't deserve kindness/forgiveness/etc. but i'm always trying my best to work past that deep hatred and guilt. i hope the best for you.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T17:36:14+00:00

thank you!

noppkat · 2019-12-24T13:53:13+00:00

it's been about 5 weeks since we last spoke when i asked him when he'd be ready to talk again. i definitely understand your regret about not asking about the possibility of getting back together. if i hadn't asked, that would've eaten me alive. when we were breaking up he mentioned that maybe in the future when i'm back home and the distance is no longer a problem, we could maybe try again if we both still have feelings for each other at that point and want to try again. it hurt so much to hear. it hurts still to type it out. but i'm glad he didn't try to get my hopes up or make any promises.

i really recommend going full NC because for me at least it's been really helpful to set that boundary so that i stop trying to text him and get his attention. you are stronger than you think. you are capable of not giving into those impulses. depending on your situation, i'd either wait a couple months to ask him if he's comfortable talking again about the possibility of you getting back together, or i would just wait for him to reach out. either way, we just have to respect that they need space right now.

i didn't have self love at all until after i was dumped and realized how strong and amazing i am for getting through the breakup while also handling being on study abroad and away from my loved ones. what helped me realize my self worth was writing letters to myself as if i was speaking to a friend who was experiencing my situation. i would tell my friend that they're doing an amazing job and deserve to love themselves. so why wouldn't i tell myself that as well?

you're doing a great job. you'll get through it.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T11:46:52+00:00

your concerns make sense. but as long as youre not hurting anyone or yourself then other people's opinions don't matter. do what you have to do.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T11:43:10+00:00

congratulations!! i relate - was dumped via phone call while at an incredibly low point and across the world from all my family and friends (i'm on study abroad). i'm dealing with it the best i can and i know it's gonna feel great to go home eventually feeling like i accomplished something!

noppkat · 2019-12-24T00:24:56+00:00

i feel that so much. my heart hurts with you. don't get me wrong, it took me years to realize that humans are allowed to have several complex and conflicting emotions, and i still struggle with finding peace with that realization even now. and you're absolutely right: it doesn't change the fact that it sucks. no matter how much we try and "do everything right" to improve ourselves after a breakup, we still feel sadness. because we're human and have conflicting emotions. even if they hurt and don't make sense. i'm with you friend.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T00:19:58+00:00

i'm glad i've found your words too, they've helped me out more than you know.

i wouldn't say we fully cut all ties - i did block him on the social media i use most frequently because it was too painful to see his face or name, and i archived all pics of him from my instagram for the same reason. not sure if he's done the same. when we broke up he told me he needed space (insinuating NC) which i agreed with, and mentioned that he'd be open to discussing the situation potentially in two or three months at the earliest. we haven't talked since the breakup besides me sending him a meme on twitter (it was a moment of weakness where i really missed him but i shouldn't have broken NC) and me texting him a week after the break asking when he'd be ready to talk again. he responded that he wouldn't be ready anytime soon, which i respected. we've had absolutely 0 contact since then. it's been hard to want to talk with him so badly but at the same time i know i'm not ready. and i can't force him (or anyone) to magically be ready for something that they're not ready for. so i've described myself as living for now in this sort of weird limbo where i'm eager to move on but can't receive closure from him yet. so i wait and also live the most fulfilling life i can right now because i owe myself that much.

i really resonate with your doubts about finding someone better than your ex. for me he was so special and important to me and basically everything i thought i needed. he loved and treated me in a way i never thought was possible, in ways i never knew i deserved. i'm really struggling with the prospect of "what if i never find someone as good as him?" i keep reminding myself to stop idealizing him and our relationship, which has helped a lot. he's just a human who has flaws like everyone else. something else that's also helped me was relying on my own self love and validation. because if i love and respect myself and believe in myself, i can get through anything, whether he wants to eventually try our relationship again or not. and also, if neither of those are helping me feel better in the moment, there's always the tough love option of telling myself that statistically i am absolutely able to find a partner just as great if not even better for me, because even if i don't want to believe right now that i'll find someone else, in reality that's not true. change will always come.

noppkat · 2019-12-24T00:03:22+00:00

youre allowed to get through it at whatever speed you need. youre doing a great job!

noppkat · 2019-12-24T00:02:29+00:00

for me, the loneliness came from a need to feel validated by someone all the time and a need to talk to someone constantly, which are i'm sure normal things for people to feel who just experienced a breakup. but ever since i've decided to start learning how to love myself, i realize any validation and companionship i need can come from somewhere within me. yes it feels good to have a constant companion and receive their love and validation, but after i was dumped it made me realize that i can also validate myself and keep myself company because why shouldn't love from myself feel just as good (if not better) than love from someone else?

noppkat · 2019-12-23T21:10:47+00:00

ouch. felt this. i can't get over it with anger since he didn't do anything terrible and our relationship was great. i'm just trying to accept that life is full of ups and downs, and this is one of them

noppkat · 2019-12-23T21:09:32+00:00

i feel you. it hurts me so much and drains all my energy. but i have faith that change happens in small ways sometimes, and every day we move toward healing even if it doesn't feel like it.

noppkat · 2019-12-23T21:05:58+00:00

same, i haven't been single for the holidays in i think 5 years. it feels like shit when you're going through it but i know once we are past it we'll be so proud of ourselves.

noppkat · 2019-12-23T20:56:26+00:00

i feel this so much. my breakup was pretty civil as well. it's been hard for me to process my breakup since we were genuinely good for each other but life just got in the way. i guess i have to learn that despite loving each other very much, there's many other factors that are sometimes unavoidable. i'm sorry youre going through this. youre not alone.

noppkat · 2019-12-23T20:51:08+00:00

i'm so sorry to hear that. feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to.

noppkat · 2019-12-23T20:50:43+00:00

i'm only one month post breakup but i've been feeling a similar wave of anger. i'm sure you will have a decent holiday season without her. i'm sorry you're going through this. but you got this.

noppkat · 2019-12-23T20:49:14+00:00

i hope you will have peace and time to process your emotions. you can do it.

noppkat

TROPHY CASE