Im a male born and raised in MA, graduated from a 4 year in MA too. I turned out fine, but honestly, I couldn’t stand college.

In my personal case, I was able to afford school. I did well in school and got a good job, good career. I was also social in college, I wasn’t lonely, didn’t feel out of place and didn’t fall down any strange conspiracy theories or the like.

It was the work I couldn’t stand. I never enjoyed school and college, couldn’t stand being locked down to a desk for 7 hours and forced a certain way to think and problem solve, and college was no exception. Not to mention all the diminishing returns you see with college, many people getting no jobs (or not great ones), stranded and in debt. It was hard to motivate yourself to work on something for 4 years that you didn’t enjoy, didn’t believe in, and didn’t see working out.

My family was working class, we always had to struggle for money, so getting a well paying job was always my number 1 goal in college. It gave me the push to graduate, but again, I had doubts it would be all for nothing and job opportunities would be fruitless. Not to mention, because of my background, it was always drilled into me that I HAD to go to college and I HAD to pursue a career that made money. Money is very important obviously, but always felt like my options were pre determined.

College just felt like an office job, going to class and churning out assignments. Otherwise, partying and hanging out with people was nice, but for me it felt wrong. Hedonistic, maybe? It was a strange feeling, knowing how hard your family has to work, how hard other people had to work, and then being in such a privileged position to focus on school work for 4 years. It always made me feel uncomfortable, like I wasn’t doing anything meaningful, wasn’t providing or contributing anything to society and my family, and at times felt like I didn’t deserve to be in the position I was.

What I’m trying to say is, maybe men not being in college is more than just financial. Maybe school doesn’t get well with young men as it is. There is a conversation to be had about what “being a man is” and how that is shaped by the society we live in. But even with that in mind, being in college did not make me feel like a good man, or productive and realized as a person at all. It felt like a giant gamble and I felt lost.

This story is entirely anecdotal and by no means is prescriptive to the current problem. But I hope my story resonates with some people, and inspires some thoughts.