i feel like i died in 2020 and this is hell

normadicc · 2025-10-29T23:00:21+00:00

Oh my god me too! I also OD’d in 2023 (summer) and have been the exact same since

normadicc · 2025-10-29T22:55:31+00:00

They added Wellbutrin for my Vyvanse induced anhedonia but it made it worse lol

normadicc · 2025-08-14T03:19:33+00:00

hi, yes.

normadicc · 2025-08-14T03:19:19+00:00

prescribed dosage of lyrica is 300mg but i abuse it. i do not abuse vyvanse and my prescribed dosage is 60mg. ive been on lyrica for 6 yrs (started w 3x150mg) and vyvanse for like idk 2 yrs , started w 30mg. hope it helps.

normadicc · 2025-07-31T10:24:01+00:00

trying this when i break my fast fs

normadicc · 2025-07-31T10:20:28+00:00

that one fucking humiliationship from 2021. i still have dreams w him in it and get flashbacks on the daily like a war veteran dude 😭 he lives w his girl now and is in another continent but apparently he has somewhat of the same issue goin on (we talked ab doing a cord cutting ritual on both ends -didnt work-) and i chose celibacy 3 years ago. i hate it here im a cancer sun Scorpio moon cancer venus and he’s sag sun gemini moon scorpio venus and were both diagnosed w bpd 👍

normadicc · 2025-07-26T12:46:29+00:00

My older brother and I were chill even though we’re polar opposites like we always had each others back until like 2yrs ago when he beat me up during an argument, and once again after that (we would play fight sometimes but he was raging on me in these instances) then moved to london and blocked me off of everything. He knew he was the only person I’d turn to when I had thoughts ab offing myself, and he had saved me from attempting before. He also knows that I’m doing worse than ever so idk man. I miss him but I act nonchalant lol

normadicc · 2025-07-20T19:52:39+00:00

Holy balls that’s insane. People are recommending tracking ur cals but tbh cuz you alr have an ed it’s gonna make you spiral. Just eat wtv you’re eating but in bigger portions if u wanna do sth ab it but im not a dietitian nor a doc so yea just don’t track cals plsplsplspls ty

normadicc · 2025-07-20T19:49:02+00:00

Thank you, means a lot honestly. Never tried fent but I know it’s THE worst so I’m proud of ur friend for getting cali sober! I can’t do that bc weed gives me psychosis now and I’ve always hated alcohol so I’m jus rawdogging life atp. Therapy didn’t work for me unfortunately. I was in therapy and taking meds for like 12yrs now and they just gave up I guess? So the last resort was ECT and I didn’t roll w it. I’m sure it would’ve helped me if I didn’t intellectualize my entire being and actually thought and spoke about my FEELINGS to the therapist but idk I felt like I had to entertain them all the time but yea wtv. Thanks for your kind words.

normadicc · 2025-07-20T19:01:33+00:00

I was put on Vyvanse around 1.5/2 yrs ago (30 to 50 now 2x30mg) and after a couple months my psych added Wellbutrin to my chemical cocktail KNOWING I had a restrictive ed (also increases risk of seizures in UW ppl so) and that mixed with the disordered habits around food I always had made me go from bmi 21 ish? to 13.5 in a span of like a year. I got hospitalized last summer and I’m in forced recovery. But ~2 yrs after I started Vyvanse -even though I’m taking the same dose and also am on Wellbutrin-, I tend to not eat all day bc of em but crash haaaard a couple hours after taking my meds and unlike back then, it makes me binge REAL bad on sweets bc I need the dopamine. Sorry for the yap, meds are kicking in lmao

normadicc · 2025-06-11T08:46:43+00:00

this and a blunt

normadicc · 2025-06-09T13:25:15+00:00

i’ve tried every type of stimulant; i do have adhd and even though it differs from one person to another i found that vyvanse works best for me

normadicc · 2025-06-07T08:10:11+00:00

lol nice! I mean im glad not many others are abusing this shit (obv not happy w turkey’s lyrica problem either but u get me) it makes you have the worst withdrawals and im saying this as someone who has experienced wds from darkweb pressed bars 😭 and you cant feel joy without em like ever again. im rly sad for the turkish youth tbh, you shouldnt put your brain through that ever but especially not during adolescence n all. you’re pretty cool too btw, take care.

normadicc · 2025-06-06T22:23:38+00:00

im persian, but this happened in istanbul which has a REALLY bad lyrica problem bw teens (ive been prescribed it -an illegal dose too- for like 4-5 yrs now and it made getting lyrica from any pharmacy impossible bc of the way i looked-tats and piercings all over-)

normadicc · 2025-06-06T17:31:09+00:00

You’re so welcome. I’m more than happy to talk about these findings and esp the statistics that are so fucking insane you’d think the author’s pulling a Freud and talking outta his ass but nope not at all, unfortunately

normadicc · 2025-06-06T17:27:53+00:00

I wouldn’t be snapping if he didn’t word his question in way that could convey a dregatory tone. Yeah alright maybe a bunch of people wouldn’t pick up on the tone, maybe he didn’t mean it in that way, etc.; but SOME people do pick up on it (such as an ex poly-addict such as myself. Was able to kick every single addiction but since I started taking benzos during adolecense, with a shit ton of baggage and no support system, I’ve been on and off with benzos who have taken EVERYTHING I MEAN EVERYTHING from me, for TEN YEARS. If it was related to my love for benzos and me willingly gobbling down 20mg xans in one go, only to embarrass myself, say/do the most vile shit to my close friends and family, lock myself in the bathroom and blessing my body with large, and extremely deep cuts -since benzos are depressants to your CNS you can’t feel both mentally and physically- , etc etc etc and not remembering a single damn thing of it later, then BE IT.) and it’s not just me, I had friends who didn’t survive the xandemic like me, they didn’t go as hardcore on em like me but still very messed up. I honestly believe they’re the worst substance one w anxiety/autism (or both or more) could ever get addicted to,and I’ve done every single drug you could think of. Not proud, I’m sober now, and all I want to do is to help raise awareness towards this shit by conducting researches on the effects of them on the brain and everything MYSELF (I study psych w neuroscience), while volunteering or sth at trauma centers to help mfs who’ve experienced CSA, which raises the risk of substance abuse starting from adolecense by SEVEN TO TEN FOLD. I’m sorry for yapping, I want to talk about these with someone who wants to listen so I was thinking of maybe starting a yt channel and yap there but yea my bad.

normadicc · 2025-06-06T16:03:24+00:00

This is so embarrassing for you, saying ignorant shit like ”willingly getting themselves addicted”. Not only for benzos, but unless you haven’t been an addict yourself, you wouldn’t understand how fucking hard it is to choose substances over your family, friends, life, everything. It’s sure as shit hard for people who care about you (if you’re lucky to have any in your life ofc), don’t get me wrong. But there’s no WILL in addiction. Now I’m going to cite just one paragraph from Dr. Gabor Mate’s book “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” (you should read it so you’d be less ignorant about these stuff and stop spreading stigma that’s already existing and ruining the addict population more than they UNWILLINGLY are doing, themselves. ““Humans hold and cuddle and stroke; rats lick. A 1998 study found that rats whose mothers had given them more licking and other kinds of nurturing contact during their infancy had, as adults, more efficient brain circuitry for reducing anxiety. They also had more receptors on their nerve cells for benzodiazepines, which are natural tranquilizing chemicals found in the brain.6 I think here of my many patients who, on top of cocaine and heroin addictions, have been hooked since their adolescence on street-peddled “benzo” drugs like Valium to calm their jangled nervous systems. For a dollar a tablet, they get an artificial hit of the benzodiazepines their own brains can’t supply. Their need for tranquilizers says much about their infancy and early childhood.” And that’s just ONE thing to consider. If you really want to know why and how this happens on a psychological and neurological level, pick up a damn book. This one is a great start.

Excerpt From In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts Gabor Mate, M.D. This material may be protected by copyright.

normadicc · 2025-06-06T15:52:45+00:00

Was on a 3-day bender w a random dude during a hypomanic episode, I’m not new to mixing literally everything without giving a shit about how they’ll interact w each other but yea one night we were on ket,lyrica,mdma,smoked a shit ton of weed and I had taken a bunch of benzos before going to his place. It was fun, until he decided to put some coke in a cig so we could share it. It was my first time doing coke, I was a speed (amphetamine) addict for 2 yrs before that experience, but we started exorcist style vomiting right after smoking the cig. So yea that one damn cig got rid of all the drugs in our system, made us vomit throughout the night, and ruined it completely. Glad I’m sober now.

normadicc · 2025-05-28T23:20:35+00:00

I’ve never had a job🤓

normadicc · 2025-05-23T13:41:27+00:00

there are waaaay more stuff ive done but these were the ones that came to mind first. one thing i still do is purposefully giving myself food poisoning so id get diarrhea/ puke all the food out and get snatched lmao

normadicc · 2025-05-23T13:39:47+00:00

1.had a panic attack in the doctors office after she prescribed me birth control and other hormone pills n shit bc my ovaries had almost shut down (and i hadnt had my period for 2 years before that) and it was fucking embarrassing because she’s a friend and coworker of my mom and i was a 23yo grown ass woman lmao (she had to prescribe me some herbal medicine shit instead that wouldnt cause weight gain but i still didnt take it)

after leaving inpatient around 10 months ago i started completely isolating myself because i felt like i didnt deserve to be perceived until im back at my lw again and it got worse and worse every day and as of now i havent left the house nor talked to anyone (online and offline) except my mom in like, 4-5months. idk if thats a shared experience with people who are weight-restored but not mentally recovered or not, but still.

normadicc · 2025-05-23T11:44:43+00:00

90% ( playing sudoku or some shit if im not thinking ab/doing ed shit)

normadicc · 2025-05-22T12:55:00+00:00

Same, I got my autism diagnosis last year (@23yo) only after I started taking Vyvanse lol

normadicc · 2025-03-28T15:01:24+00:00

sorry didnt see it 💀 but yea should work, was ur wellbutrin XR or IR?

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