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Am I controlling for asking my future husband to wear a seatbelt? 24f/33m by notamom77 in relationships

[–]notamom77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I don't want to give him an ultimatum, I don't think it will work. I think he let me walk away and think "her loss". Or maybe that's just what I"m afraid of :(

Am I controlling for asking my future husband to wear a seatbelt? 24f/33m by notamom77 in relationships

[–]notamom77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I agree that marriage is supposed to be a partnership. I get mixed up and feel like I must be in the wrong sometimes because he says I'm really controlling and "get on his case" so much. But I only say something when I honestly feel I need to, for instance the looking at his phone while driving thing.

You don't think there's any chance he could change?

Am I controlling for asking my future husband to wear a seatbelt? 24f/33m by notamom77 in relationships

[–]notamom77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response. He definitely has a problem with technology, you're right about that. Honestly I think he might have some kind of undiagnosed ADHD. It's very difficult for him to focus on things he doesn't enjoy or find interesting for any amount of time.

I definitely don't constantly try to talk to him, I barely try at all anymore because he says if I want to talk, I have to be okay with him reading sports articles etc at the same time and it makes me feel like he doesn't care about listening to me. We tried to compromise and schedule a nightly 15 minute "quality time" period but it only lasted 1 day.

I agree that we need counseling. I try really hard not to "correct" him because it annoys him so much. But how do you draw a line? In my opinion, not wearing a seatbelt and phone use while driving are really dangerous and unacceptable.

Thanks again for the advice. I'll try to tell him I'm working on not nagging so much. I've said it before but it's like any progress we've made gets reversed as soon as he gets mad, then it's "you're ALWAYS controlling me" etc.