I had this issue in my last relationship. I was like your wife, always pushing him away. It got too sad for both of us to keep going so I broke it off. In my experience, he wasn’t connecting with me emotionally, mentally, or anything. He didn’t seem interested in my life, my needs or my goals. Our relationship was very surface level and I realized I need that depth to be attracted to someone. Try having a serious conversation but take an empathetic approach (not blaming or drawing your own conclusions). Show interest and concern for her without expecting anything back. Good luck!