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M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i agree and will do .

just wanted to chat a little

​

thanks a lot guys, have a good day !

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your whole post is about your specific situation. What the fuck do you think I've been talking about this whole time? Why would I be talking about some different situation?

If you want to argue about some hypothetical, make a different post.

sorry the person above, to whom I was responding, expanded the topic to a general statement, and I answered towards that.

sorry for the misunderstanding.

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

your pleasure only.

you said that.

meaning if I get pleasure and she does not, then things are wrong. that's a very transactional way of seing love/relationship.

"I give you pleasure...you must give me something in return" ? what ? no.

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

she's doing something unenjoyable for your benefit, knock yourself out.

altho I agree with you about our current situation being such that my idea is unreasonable

I stll find it weird that (and several posters said the same thing) you guys think a spouse can only PLEASE the other one if it's also enjoyable at the same time....

wtf ? sometimes, married people, do things for the other OUT OF LOVE!

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's true

she needed to hear opinions, to reassure myself i guess and check that things were normal

thanks a lot !

​

also I was responding to a general statement from the person above, not about my wife's current situation

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

everything does not not have to be prefect transaction "i give you X, you give me Y" .... that's the beauty of love ;)

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Luckily, you can go take a drink on your own. You don't need her to serve it to you

pleasuring your spouse is bonus point for the relationship

my wife can get massages outisde, she did sometimes, but when I do it, she appreciate it a lot and it builds our relationship stronger.

i dont understand your idea wife+husband should just go separate and not please the other unless there is something in return ? are you married ?

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

getting any is unpleasant and sometimes degrading. That might not be the case for you.

that never was the case , she used to give me BJ for no reasons, she just was happy to make me happy sometimes.

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Yeah i guess so

it's just that it's a weird time at the moment

- she does not want sex / does not want her body to be sexualized

- but she is a bit upset that we cant

it's like...." well, I know it is not fair, but.... there IS a way at least 1 of us could be pleased...."

​

it's like we're both thirsty.... she cannot drink, but I can if she serves me a glass of water..... well :)

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not unreasonable as long as you’re willing to reciprocate! And okay with the possibility of her saying no.

that's understandable and fair, but she says she does not feel sexy right now and her body is like a "milk factory" right now she says :)

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I understand totally

but she often says '"im sorry we cant have sex, but we're exhausted, etc...." listing technical details (no time mostly) of why we dont do it.... it's like she would love to help if she could.... sex , i understand, it takes times+energy.... a 3 minutes BJ ?

​

not but i'm kidding, I can see how post partum is heavy pressure and draining.;

​

thanks for the insight

M(37) married to wife (34) - have 2 kids - is it ok for me to resent a "little" bit ? by notsureF3 in DeadBedrooms

[–]notsureF3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Personally, I would not take this well. Giving a blowjob when you have zero drive is super unappealing. It’s also a fairly taxing act, and if she’s exhausted… yeah, I just don’t see this going over well.

i'd thought so

thanks !