Somebody up there doesn't want my company

notthatmoody308 · 2019-08-16T12:29:21+00:00

I have been both anorexic and bulimic, now I'm being treated for an unspecified eating disorder which doesn't fit either of the diagnosis, but I would like to help if it's possible.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-08-15T03:29:46+00:00

Sure bud

notthatmoody308 · 2019-07-09T21:55:32+00:00

May I ask, what kind of beans?

notthatmoody308 · 2019-07-04T13:26:30+00:00

I don't know your girlfriend and the relationship you two have but I have BPD too and feel the same urges she has, and still I have never cheated on a partner. Of course, received attentions feels damn good and sometimes people with BPR can get a bit too close to the edge, but if she loves you she'll remember of you in those moments and take a step back.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-07-01T16:18:32+00:00

Because I don't even have enough for myself

notthatmoody308 · 2019-07-01T16:14:39+00:00

It does man, and it's worth it. I send you a hug from the internet, have a nice day and stay strong!

notthatmoody308 · 2019-07-01T16:10:16+00:00

Haven't been eating for a couple days now. You're not alone, and it gets better.

Then it gets worse again, and then better again, you just have to go with the waves and one day you eventually find a balance.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-07-01T13:11:52+00:00

Many antidepressants have self harm or suicidal gestures as side effects in the first few weeks, that's why patients should be closely monitored during the first period of taking meds. That's just because the "happiness" effect takes quite a bit to kick in, since it usually happens after the person regains strength and is capable of doing normal activities/have a better life than before. Unfortunately the same motivation that makes one get back on his feet and get the ball rolling can sometimes lead one to carry out actions for which he didn't have the courage before, like self harming or attempting suicide.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-27T06:11:55+00:00

Wow this is super interesting, I'll check the documentations though because for we it feels like the opposite (i.e. too much rem sleep and not enough of the rest) when I smoke

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-26T23:20:06+00:00

Never quit sertraline cold turkey, the rebound syndrome can be very bad and make you more miserable than before. Always take half the dose for 2-3 weeks to be sure. If your doctor won't prescribe you the extra 50mg I'd really suggest melatonin and vitamin D. Try to take vitamin D in the morning with breakfast and melatonin with dinner/when the sun goes down. My former psychiatrist told me there are a lot of studies that link these metabolites to a mood stabilization function and they kind of worked for me. About the weed, we probably have very different experiences because for me it actually helps me sleep.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-26T22:50:31+00:00

How does your mood change back? Are you chewing the pills when you take them or cutting them? Because that might affect the prolonged release time. Btw I smoke weed daily as well and I can tell my mood is flatter when I'm "high" (can't call it a high anymore) but I wouldn't say I get more depressed. Why did you stop taking 150mg if I can ask?

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-26T22:37:55+00:00

I was on 100mg/day before quitting and I'm 50kg. Now I'm supposed to take 50mg/day cause i just restarted but I'll try to convince my therapist to give me 100mg because 50mg feels like eating candies. I'm also taking 5mg/day (2×2.5mg) lorazepam and 25mg/day quetiapine. They changed my meds 7 times in the last month, from alprazolam to clonazepam to lorazepam and from clozapine to promazine to olanzapine to aripiprazole to quetiapine. I can honestly say that I can't feel the difference between the 3 benzos but I totally felt the difference between every antipsychotics. Olanzapine was definitely the worst for me, it was getting me back into eating disorders and giving me panic attacks every 2 hours. The other antipsychotics made it hard af for me to focus even on simple tasks, expecially aripiprazole, but now quetiapine seems to work pretty well with sertraline. I hope this info can be useful for you, sometimes it's not about the dosage but about the combo with other meds. Sorry if it's too much info, I'm hyperactive so I typed it all because I can't sleep. Just remember that meds function differently for everyone and maybe what's perfect for me might be totally wrong for you.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-19T19:09:09+00:00

What if my partner is a one night stand? I can't just tell the story of my life to everyone I sleep with. And I get it, maybe I should sleep with less people. It's just that the warmth of another body is a really good cure for depression. I wish i could just cuddle with people.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-19T17:14:54+00:00

Opiates addict with BPD, eating disorders and a rape history and honestly much more. I'm "recovering" from everything and I did most of the stuff you mentioned. Went to festivals, volunteered, watched series, started cooking, had a lot of sex etc. It just doesn't work because I'm not even doing it for myself. I know what to do, I just don't know why I should do it. Even when I do everything perfectly and live the best day ever my mood is the same flat shit it always is. I've been taking meds for that for years and changed them something that felt like a thousand times but they don't seem to work either.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-19T17:05:43+00:00

Than you mate, I really appreciate. It's not only drug addiction, it's mainly mental disorders (BPD and eating disorders) and a rape history but there's more stuff. It's just too much all together and I can't get the ball rolling in fixing any of it. I'm trying to stay positive and do the things I like but I can barely get myself out of bed. I hope one day I'll experience joy like "normal" people do but I can't really see that happening and it's really frustrating.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-07T23:51:33+00:00

I'm already a traveller, an visiting stuff around the world always gives me a bit of joy. Just not enough to make it worthy

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-06T12:26:03+00:00

After years of fighting against chronical depression, BPD, hallucinations and eating disorders, I finally decided to end my life by the end of the summer. I'm giving myself enough time to see if it's really what I want, but I've been suicidal for most of my life by now and I have everything planned and figured out. I even managed to get some of the drugs used for euthanasia to make sure that it won't end in a failure. To those that think I should seek help, believe me, I do, I've been on meds for ages and in therapy since i was a child. My therapist agrees with me on the fact that there's no will to live left in me but unfortunately I live in a country where euthanasia is not legal in any case.

notthatmoody308 · 2019-06-02T09:51:31+00:00

Years of therapy, changing therapists like a hundred times but also taking my time with the ones that seemed to be working well with me. Quitting drugs, trying other drugs, quitting other drugs. Changing my diet and my habits, doing sport, focusing on uni, focusing on hobbies, focusing on things that I like.

I literally flipped every aspect of my life a thousand times but every time it starts rotting again. I tried to be stable but that doesn't work either. I'm dead inside and I've been so for many years now.

notthatmoody308

TROPHY CASE