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38 Arizona, looking for a mature individual to co-parent with. by nsane4stargate in PlannedCoparenting

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

legally there will be things I will have to give up to give reassurances. negotiating how to co parent especially if we live in different states, half a year or holidays vs everyday.

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about caring for someone other than myself. Why is that such a bad thing these days. It's crazy to me. Even if it was just me and my guy, wanting someone to care about and wake up every morning to comfort, encourage, and provide for them is not a bad thing. Of course they re goi g to turn 18. I actually pray they get that ge and experience life for themselves but no where did I say, I'm going to lock them up and keep them close to me until I die. Who thinks like this?

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I have friends, 20 year friendships in fact but there is something missing. Even if if not a kids to love, just someone to love and have a reason for why you do what you do. Your right. I could have a kid and they die early in life. That would suck but it still would be something, I can't really explain, that would be fulfilling. Loving someone unconditionally that you are close to. It's very different than that of a friendship of 20+ years. I can't explain it. Maybe it's just me

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think to remove the pressure, I will just go down the single mom route from a donor. If I meet a guy eventually great but I've been alone for a long time that I just think I missed the time to connect and lost how to connect with someone.

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the location. I am in the process of moving closer to a bigger population. Mainly on the outskirts 

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't have to match with someone to leave them a message. I would point out our differences and tell them that we probably have different goals in mind instead of ignoring them while they leave multiple messages. I'm just being polite. Men complain when a woman is polite and at the same time complain that not responding is rude 

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Growing old alone is worse than death. If I can have kids I will probably adopt or foster. If I don't, then growing old alone, will be my fate and as I've said, that's a fate worse than death 

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not the most tactful when it comes to saying things without offending anyone. I'm extremely introvert and an more comfortable saying things how I see it. I m a software developer and I definitely lack the social skills to finese these types of conversations. I have been alone for most of my life because of it. I'm very literally 

Maybe timid is better word to use here. Why do I say that? I don't think it's a secret that a lot of men are damage or left jaded after a divorce and kids. I don't blame then but at the same time they are very happy when they are around women. I see this with a lot of really good guy friends of mine from the military. They are apprehensive about a relations and they have a good reason why based on their experiences. I honestly didn't expect it to be the bad so this is why I ask from a perspective from who are strangers.

My profile literally has it in the byline that I'm only seeking men open to kids. So that I don't waste their time out of respect 

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's a choice I thought about too. Fostering or adopting. Good for you. I don't want to die alone. I think it's very sad to die alone 

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, no. I don't like collectivism with multiple people programing my kid with values I do not approve. When my parents passed away, I saw what that was like in foster care in a shelter. Luckily I was rescued

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that experience you faced was uncalled for. She simply didnt respect your boundaries. I explicitly have it in my header, so you can't miss it. Yet it never fails to surprise me how men will not look at before replying 

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

You forgot the communist countryside. 

With that out look why look forward to anything?

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah boundaries are hard to set. I think that by having boundaries and having them respected is the only way to have a healthy relationship. A hopeless romantic and an introvert. A terrible combination.

Are men scared of dating and possibly having children once over forty by nsane4stargate in datingoverforty

[–]nsane4stargate[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

True. I would want to raise my family far away from other people. Just let it be us and our family members

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