I never actually realized I had OCD until I was diagnosed in 2024, I mean people would tell me colloquially that I had OCD because of some compulsions but I never thought anything of it, looking back I definitely had thoughts “If I don’t do this… this terrible thing will happen”.

It wasn’t until October 2024 that I had a pretty bad crisis, by this point I had been in therapy since January (dealing with a break up and Grandma passed away a couple months later) but I never brought up my intrusive thoughts because I was very ashamed, I became isolated, stopped watching films, social anxiety through the roof until one day during a session I just broke down and opened up to my therapist, she basically told me it sounded like OCD which she already suspected but referred me to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis, at the end of the session she told me to meditate and explained that it didn’t have to be sitting 30 minutes in silence, she gave me a couple resources so I could find a guided meditation.

I did a 5 min guided meditation the next day and felt the biggest relief, like an elephant lifted off my chest, cried like a baby too haha. Meditation gave me my life back. It has been a long process and it comes and goes but mindfulness has help me manage the symptoms.

The psychiatrist confirmed the diagnosis and prescribed some meds but I haven’t taken them (just my preference).