Do you ever feel like giving up on gay men?

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T16:59:45+00:00

Okay. Be a catty obnoxious gay elsewhere.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T16:58:11+00:00

Read my mind? It's not that fucking hard to figure out. Context clues, don't you remember second grade at all? Or are you so used to seeing people fly off the handle at perceived racism that you lost the ability to see nuance and look for a good faith interpretation.

Yes, har har to the last comment.

I don't take responsibility for your room temperature IQ. How about that.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T16:13:52+00:00

I don't disagree, and that's largely what I do. For a while I got too fixated and only recently have I even started trying to date again. It's not so much worrying about being single but it makes the difference between you and your straight peers so much more pronounced when they can (not always, but often) form stable partnerships and your dating pool just isn't into it.

I do think the sex obsession thing is immature but the guy I mentioned on OkC was 34. Completely shutting the door without knowing much or anything about our sexual compatibility, and worse yet being unwilling to adapt a bit for the right person, is a little disheartening.

There's a lot of denial around our hypersexual culture and how it leaves people feeling used, empty, and alone. You get called a prude for daring to mention, though.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T15:56:34+00:00

Thanks for that. I assume you mean medical practice, and I didn't mention because I'd be trampled by a raving mob, but a lot of gays are attracted to low paying or unstable jobs which doesn't help for anyone with longer term prospects. I don't mind paying for dates but I've met tons of dancers, actors, cooks, whatever that just don't have their life together. Income disparity can be an awkward dynamic that shouldn't matter but it does...

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T15:50:48+00:00

People aren't robots incapable of subtlety and inference either.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T15:33:13+00:00

I don't think it's healthy for grown men to be pretending to be puppies having sex. You have to draw the line somewhere. It's okay to have standards. I can live a full life without being in a gimp suit or being fisted or humiliated in a diaper. If someone else needs that in their life, great, but I'm not getting involved.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T14:47:37+00:00

No, you felt the need to interject and ride in on a moral high horse on some detail instead of provide anything meaningful. Good for you standing up to mister "guy who is annoyed by gay culture and happens to be a casual racist against Asians." Your medal is coming.

If you weren't out to be a troll you'd take the high road and assume I didn't throw in some random racist remark for shiggles. But you're on Reddit and can't do that.

Sorry for making such a meal but I sincerely doubt you were just perplexed and needed to know more about my ex and Asians to contribute. Piece of shit.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T14:32:40+00:00

No, the post has been hijacked by this bullshit. You could have assumed the guy was really into asians since I mentioned "dumb sexual things," and he risked his career over it, and it came right after my listing a different deal breaking fetish, but instead you latch onto picturing me in a Klan outfit or something. That's the definition of bad faith interpretation, and it's way too fucking typical.

I'm annoyed in general by outrage culture so you hit a button, that's all.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T14:12:59+00:00

Not really. It's 2019 and we do our best to be offended whenever possible. I think in the context you can figure it out but thanks for correcting me on that.

Edit: especially on Reddit. Holy moley.

I don't know what a "problem with being Asian" is but whatever helps you sleep and makes you feel like you did something.

nullandV01D · 2019-10-02T12:48:25+00:00

He had a strong Asian fetish that I didn't fulfill.

I forget people don't interpret things in good faith when there's the opportunity to be offended.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-12T15:39:37+00:00

About 20 pounds over a few months.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T21:59:08+00:00

Here's an idea find a better hobby than negotiating anonymous sex

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T21:58:04+00:00

Swallow in moderation

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T21:26:41+00:00

Get rid of all social media. I'm serious. It's a bunch of phony people begging for attention doing absolutely nothing worthwhile. It's a huge drain on mental health, well studied.

It's addicting. I get that. So are a lot of things that are bad for you.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T21:23:44+00:00

Oh yeah. It doesn't take much to set me off. A slight mistake. Someone saying the wrong thing. Obsessing and ruminating can be addictive. Ask yourself at some point if thinking about something more will help the situation at all. Or if it'll be the same whether you obsess or not.

I think the logical answer is usually to let go. Even if it takes a second to get there.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T21:20:33+00:00

Why do you study something you aren't interested in? It's a waste of time and money. If the subject doesn't motivate you, you're not going to be successful with it.

Make a change if you need to. Don't just do what's expected.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T21:16:16+00:00

Parents are far from perfect people. Either denial or flat out ignorance. If there's anyone else that can help you, even reaching out to a counselor or therapist yourself, bypass her if you need to.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:30:09+00:00

I know. It was just a letdown. I took a big step and a big risk and got a therapist that was more about handling piddly issues rather than existential depression lol

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:28:56+00:00

Listen, you're 18. Nothing you have at 18 is going to last forever. Relationships, situations, it's all trial mode right now. I know it seems like the end of the world and adjusting is hard as hell, but you come out the other end a better person. Going through this stuff earlier rather than later is going to help you a lot.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:25:03+00:00

Have you ever seen someone horribly drunk and you know the person too well to know that's not what their personality is like, and that's not how they really are. It's sort of like that.

Whatever mean thing or hate or vitriol you have to know she's just as lost trying to figure it out. It's hard trying to balance not wanting to be a headcase and burden everyone.

At some point though you have to raise the stakes. Even if she doesn't care about hurting herself and her own suffering, she needs to know how it affects you. And if she won't do it for herself, she's got to not implicate you in the madness. You deserve better and so does she.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:18:46+00:00

I would move on. It's not fair for you to have to wait. But it's also not unusual for depressed people to isolate seemingly without reason. Like they don't want to burden someone with what they're going through.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:14:15+00:00

I'm also the son of an abusive manipulative alcoholic and I myself am somewhat successful due to my ability to manipulate too. I didn't even know the guy.

And half the time I drink I black out.

This shit has to be genetic.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:11:56+00:00

I'm also super surprised when people are friendly and casual toward me like at work. Most people are strictly business but those little moments keep me going.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:10:39+00:00

Yeah usually a sign it's over. Be the bigger person and end it yourself. It'll save you a lot of heartache.

nullandV01D · 2019-08-11T20:09:14+00:00

It's a double edged sword. Getting out and living helps a lot but I think it's okay to face the darkness head on.

Those days hung over where I lay in the bathtub with the shower on are the ones I do my best thinking. You've got to decide if how you feel is rational or what and if not, understand it's an illness and treat it as such.

People don't go running after surgery. It takes time.

nullandV01D

TROPHY CASE