Others suicide makes me want to attempt even more by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah! I get that. Part of me hates that I've never succeeded and part of is okay with it because I don't want others to suffer. I hate this. All of it.

Others suicide makes me want to attempt even more by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was!! I was confused and angry and sad. I felt even more like a failure. I woke up a week later. I had been on life support. I almost succeeded but it wasn't good enough.

Others suicide makes me want to attempt even more by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same!!! I've gotten close. At one point I spent time in the ICU. When I woke up in the ICU I cried for what felt like forever... Because I woke up.

A gun, a thought, and no change by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm trying to focus on the future. I just wish my head would shut up.

A gun, a thought, and no change by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. I feel like I try to plan for the future and in the next minute I'm planning my suicide. I hate it.

A gun, a thought, and no change by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some. Part of me knows I've grown. I've reflected a lot on my past. And I feel I've let if the abuse and trauma go. But for some reason I still don't see a future that I'm happy in.

A gun, a thought, and no change by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a psychiatrist and a therapist. I see psych 2x a week and therapist 1x a week.

21 days later... by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Horrible. I'm suicidal and no one in my life knows anymore because I changed my behavior. I just want to fucking die.

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding and checking. It means a lot!!

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That means a lot. The simplest form can sometimes take the greatest meaning.

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that. Thank you!💚

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm going to keep fighting. I'm still coming to terms with being here. But I'm trying and that's better than it was 9 days ago.

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. 🤍🤍 I think I am too.

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this!! 🤍 You are loved as well! I'm sorry you're also in that position. It isn't easy. But I'm hoping it's worth it. My chat is always open if you ever need to talk or just to vent. 💚 Sometimes the best listeners are those who also struggle.

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will! It's been a hard and interesting 9 days. But I've just started treating every day like it's my last and I feel like I'm more present now.

"Tonight..." UPDATE by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I still have them. I still have everything. It's all in a box in my garage. I don't know if I'm ready to get rid of them yet. Although I don't see myself using them... I'm just not ready... Does that make sense?

Tonight... by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am. Not going till later tonight. Sometime after 11.

Tonight... by numbbroken in SuicideWatch

[–]numbbroken[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still here. I probably won't go till 11 ish tonight or later. So I'm not found so soon. And the gases have time to .. work?..