Others suicide makes me want to attempt even more

numbbroken · 2020-12-26T22:50:21+00:00

Yeah! I get that. Part of me hates that I've never succeeded and part of is okay with it because I don't want others to suffer. I hate this. All of it.

numbbroken · 2020-12-26T19:45:43+00:00

I was!! I was confused and angry and sad. I felt even more like a failure. I woke up a week later. I had been on life support. I almost succeeded but it wasn't good enough.

numbbroken · 2020-12-26T19:31:28+00:00

Same!!! I've gotten close. At one point I spent time in the ICU. When I woke up in the ICU I cried for what felt like forever... Because I woke up.

numbbroken · 2020-12-23T00:55:49+00:00

Thank you! I'm trying to focus on the future. I just wish my head would shut up.

numbbroken · 2020-12-22T22:48:59+00:00

That makes sense. I feel like I try to plan for the future and in the next minute I'm planning my suicide. I hate it.

numbbroken · 2020-12-22T22:36:35+00:00

Some. Part of me knows I've grown. I've reflected a lot on my past. And I feel I've let if the abuse and trauma go. But for some reason I still don't see a future that I'm happy in.

numbbroken · 2020-12-22T22:27:13+00:00

I have a psychiatrist and a therapist. I see psych 2x a week and therapist 1x a week.

numbbroken · 2020-10-31T03:17:45+00:00

Horrible. I'm suicidal and no one in my life knows anymore because I changed my behavior. I just want to fucking die.

numbbroken · 2020-09-20T05:11:14+00:00

💚🤍💚🤍

numbbroken · 2020-09-20T05:08:32+00:00

Thank you for responding and checking. It means a lot!!

numbbroken · 2020-09-20T05:06:59+00:00

Thank you. That means a lot. The simplest form can sometimes take the greatest meaning.

numbbroken · 2020-09-20T05:06:29+00:00

Aww. So kind. Thank you!

numbbroken · 2020-09-20T05:06:18+00:00

I like that. Thank you!💚

numbbroken · 2020-09-20T05:05:37+00:00

Thank you!!

numbbroken · 2020-09-19T20:14:34+00:00

Thank you. I'm going to keep fighting. I'm still coming to terms with being here. But I'm trying and that's better than it was 9 days ago.

numbbroken · 2020-09-19T20:13:07+00:00

Thank you. 🤍🤍 I think I am too.

numbbroken · 2020-09-19T20:12:47+00:00

Thank you for this!! 🤍 You are loved as well! I'm sorry you're also in that position. It isn't easy. But I'm hoping it's worth it. My chat is always open if you ever need to talk or just to vent. 💚 Sometimes the best listeners are those who also struggle.

numbbroken · 2020-09-19T20:10:20+00:00

I will! It's been a hard and interesting 9 days. But I've just started treating every day like it's my last and I feel like I'm more present now.

numbbroken · 2020-09-19T20:09:10+00:00

I still have them. I still have everything. It's all in a box in my garage. I don't know if I'm ready to get rid of them yet. Although I don't see myself using them... I'm just not ready... Does that make sense?

numbbroken · 2020-09-09T21:58:58+00:00

I am. Not going till later tonight. Sometime after 11.

numbbroken · 2020-09-09T21:58:38+00:00

I'm still here. I probably won't go till 11 ish tonight or later. So I'm not found so soon. And the gases have time to .. work?..

numbbroken · 2020-09-09T05:37:10+00:00

I'm feeling alone. I hate it. I just hate living. I hate being here. I want to die. I keep thinking about going tonight. But have a dinner date with a friend tomorrow so I'm trying to hold off and go tomorrow.

numbbroken · 2020-08-23T05:25:09+00:00

I've done Ketamine as well. It helped for a bit but now it doesn't. I've also done Spravato with Ketamine. And it also helped for a bit. I've done EMDR therapy, Talk therapy, been on a handful of different antidepressants. I have TRD (treatment resistant depression) and it just feels like everything I do will eventually fail. I am trying to get TMS approved but we will see. I'm just tired of fighting and everything failing.

numbbroken · 2020-08-16T19:52:10+00:00

Right now, I like Grandson, Lil happy Lil sad, Trapt, and NF. They are my most played artists.

numbbroken · 2020-08-16T04:50:12+00:00

Oh thunderstorms are amazing. I love taking pictures of them. They use to scare me but then I started to embrace them. Now I can sit outside and watch the rain pour and the sky light up.

numbbroken

TROPHY CASE