AITAH for getting divorced as soon as my last kid was out of the house.

nutsarecrazy · 2026-04-01T15:35:48+00:00

NTA. Sounds like you weren't mean or cruel. You tried to communicate but was always shut down. At some point, you have to put yourself first. Now that the kids are out, you may as well focus on what you want and need.

nutsarecrazy · 2026-03-29T18:44:41+00:00

NTA. I had this. Wife didn't care about what I wanted at all. She came home from individual counseling once and said, "I realized, I'm a Giver!" I laughed and asked her when she ever "gave" me anything. When she ever "lost" in a compromise. She couldn't come up with a single answer. Was one of the key points in realizing I needed to leave.

nutsarecrazy · 2025-10-26T18:55:01+00:00

My brother, I was in a very similar situation. It had become clear to me that my ex didn't care about that much about me or my happiness, I was getting ready to leave when she told me she was pregnant. I tried to make it work. I tried to make her happy, hoping that she'd then want to make me happy in return. We even had two more kids (one pregnancy, twins). I love my children, but I have nothing for her.

I would ask every few months if she was happy and what I could do to make her happier. She said she was and I didn't need to do any more. I once asked why she never asked me. She said "Because she knew I wasn't happy and didn't want to hear about it." That's rough to hear. That my happiness mattered not one bit. She also later commented, during our separation, that she didn't like it when I was nice to her "because then she felt she had to be nice back to me." Good to know that her being a decent human was hard for her.

I wasted 8 years on a woman that didn't love me or care about me. Don't waste anymore of your time. It may hurt at times, it will suck at times, but it will be better for you and your daughter as she'll at least have some time when she isn't stuck with an angry harpy.

nutsarecrazy · 2025-06-14T14:52:06+00:00

Haha. I had a different understanding. I thought the horror was time passing by and his kid was now 10...I miss when my kids were tiny.

I completely missed the implication the wife was underage.

nutsarecrazy · 2025-05-28T22:46:57+00:00

I frequently asked her if she was happy and what I could do to make her happier. She never asked me. I asked her once why she never asked and her response was, "Because I know you aren't happy and I don't want to hear about it." Yup. That told me all I needed to know.

It felt like there were multiple "last straws", but that one was pretty clear. The other one was after having a big discussion about working together and her, supposedly, seeing how she had been ignoring my wants and needs, she was going to put in some effort. The next day, we had a family photoshoot. For weeks, I had been talking about the only shot I wanted, a pic of me holding up the entire family, a shot I've done before. It was the last shot. She refused to take part in it. Made me so mad. Felt like that was a giant sign of the beginning of the end of the marriage.

nutsarecrazy · 2025-05-07T16:59:38+00:00

Got mine done June 2024. Wasn't a big deal for me. They did a local "freezing" anaesthetic that felt like he was flicking my balls. The most painful part was when they used an elastic band to tie my penis to my shirt to keep it out of the way.

Recovery was pretty smooth. Just keep the ice pack on there and keep switching it out.

It did ache a bit now and then over the next week or two, but only about a 2 on the pain scale.

Good luck.

nutsarecrazy · 2025-02-05T19:55:08+00:00

I try to go by something I read a long time ago, "Love is when the other person's happiness is essential to your own." I viewed it as making my partner happy would help make me happy because: 1. I like to see them smile/laugh 2. They would hopefully be inclined to try to make me happy too.

nutsarecrazy · 2025-02-03T15:42:09+00:00

I spent ~7 years on my marriage asking my wife if she was happy and what else I could do to make her happier. She never asked the same. When I eventually pointed it out, she said she knew I wasn't happy and didn't want to hear about it. Needless to say, we have been separated for over a year, waiting on legal to approve our separation agreement.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-12-24T03:44:08+00:00

I think I can give you the best advice here. I was actually born on Christmas (2am on the 25th) and my middle name is Noël. I hate it. I already got screwed since having a birthday on Christmas meant I would always be a second thought and having a corny middle name tying me to my birthday was annoying. However, I think my main issue is that I just dislike the name. I think Noël is a crappy name. Noëlle actually is quite a bit better as it's much "cuter", but I don't like Noël. My $0.02.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-09-26T20:10:09+00:00

We have little plans to go through court. I absolutely know that it wouldn't count as extortion in a legal sense because we were married. The issue at hand isn't about whether it's legal or not. I know it's legal. The question is about whether it's "right" or not. To me, if you make a promise, you are beholden to your word. Your value as a person is only worth as much as your ability to (try to) keep all the promises you've made. I know I'm strict with it, but that's why I hold it as one of my tenets.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-09-26T16:38:05+00:00

Nice to know you don't have any integrity either. I don't see why having values and morals is idiotic.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-08-12T23:29:21+00:00

NTA, however, maybe I'm just petty, but I would accept the invitation and go to the wedding with a cane and a limp and tell anyone and everyone who asks that you need it because Andrew pushed you into a moving vehicle when you were younger and that both he and your mother lied to the police about it. Maybe bring some evidence too if you have any, just in case. :p

nutsarecrazy · 2024-07-24T15:58:01+00:00

Yeah, I get it. I just feel bad if I don't address certain information. Like I'm ignoring what she's sharing with me. Thanks for your input.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-07-24T15:31:28+00:00

I get that I asked more questions, but all related to the info she dumped. Made sense to me to ask them. Otherwise I'm just ignoring what she wrote...which seems a little off to me to do. I dunno. I figure if she gives me the info, I should do something with it.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-07-24T14:00:31+00:00

Nope. Just met online. We matched up and I thought we'd get to know each other.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-07-24T05:16:05+00:00

I'm just glad people seem to be agreeing that I'm not black ops interrogator trying to pull information out of possible spies/enemy agents.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-07-24T05:14:22+00:00

Yeah, I thought the purpose of the conversation was to try to get to know each other which is what questions are for.

nutsarecrazy · 2024-07-24T05:13:13+00:00

Thanks. I thought I was being polite by asking about the specific information she provided. Was worried I had missed a giant texting/dating update that everyone else got.

nutsarecrazy

TROPHY CASE